House rules: Why traffic buttons make you feel good

It's the little things that make life better, but did you know that some of them are just an illusion? A recent New York Times article lifted the lid on some of the civic cheats that give us the sense of being in charge.

What do these include? Next time you see someone stabbing at the door-close button on a lift, consider this: it may be doing nothing at all.

In the US most of those buttons were decommissioned, to aid those with impaired mobility. But the buttons themselves remain, and we continue to press them, because the door will close eventually – and it’s good to imagine we had something to do with it.

Similarly at pedestrian crossings at peak times, lights operate on a schedule, so that the flow of traffic isn’t impeded. The buttons still do their thing at quieter times, but in New York City, where quieter times don’t really exist, more than 2,500 of the 3,250 crosswalk buttons are placebos.

Those buttons make you feel good, even though you know they may be doing nothing. Imagine the uncomfortable feeling of waiting at pedestrian lights with no button to press, you would feel somehow smaller, powerless. I start to wonder what other placebos could be instituted around the home, to take away some of the niggling frustrations that add up to irritation when it is just another One of Those Days.

Turbo switch

I’d like a turbo switch on the kettle or cooker to make me feel that I’m super-charging my cup of tea. As the weather gets colder, I’d like one on my underfloor heating too. I’m sure I’d feel warmer even as it still sluggishly tries to keep up with sudden plunges in temperature. Slimming mirrors (which I’m convinced they have in some changing rooms) would be good too, even better if they have a soft-focus filter, like old-fashioned photographs.

And finally? I’d like someone to pick up on my business idea of rentamotherlylady.com, which would summon a sympathetic, but gently bossy, older woman, to mildly tut tut at hangovers, straighten things up, put fresh milk in the fridge, and leave me feeling that all is, after all, well in the world.