‘I was thinking about the new N for Novice plates and wondering if there’s scope for other letters, such as M for Menopausal, or T for Touchy’

I’ve had it with weeping over the steering wheel

Lolo Ferrari: ‘Her brassieres were, they say, designed by an engineer who had previously been employed by Boeing.’ Photograph: Boris Horvat/AFP/Getty Images

I’m no Lolo Ferrari, but I thought my friendly, cerise-pink brassiere was perfectly adequate to fulfil my needs

Photograph: Eric Luke

The actor is back on TV tomorrow in series five of ‘Love/Hate’. But the punctual, theatre-loving, Donna Tartt-reading actor has li(...)

‘Like many self-employed women of my generation, I don’t have a pension.’ Photograph: Thinkstock

I have a morbid fear I’ll end up eating puréed banana and clapping along to the theme tune from Teletubbies, without the added str(...)

It’s no wonder that Kate is thin, what with throwing up her breakfast and labouring over her social diary. Photograph: Luke MacGregor/Reuters

I’d be thrilled if my deceased mother-in-law journeyed from beyond to tell me I was calorifically compromised

Donna Tartt: her novel The Goldfinch worms its way out of a catacomb of despair. Photograph: Fred R Conrad/The New York Times

Donna Tartt’s splendidly time-consuming, Pulitzer Prize-winning novel is giving me heart

Little girls’ lives were circumscribed by school, Sindy dolls and the imminent arrival of stigmata

‘My friend was edgy. The area was littered with “sold” signs and there was every possibility that by the time he’d digested his nettle-leaf and humanitarian sandwich, house prices would have jumped another grand or so.’ Photograph: Cyril Byrne

My friend calculated monthly repayments on his mobile. ‘Nope,’ he said. ‘Can’t afford it. What’s happened this city?’

‘We would lie around in the grubby evening sun, looking across to the Twin Towers, those gleaming sentry gates to Manhattan.’ Above, the Tribute in Light memorial in remembrance September 11th. Photograph: Thinkstock

Of the small, damp group gathered on the scraggy hill that afternoon, I was the only one still living in Ireland

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