So you are an introvert? That’s okay. I’m in and I’m proud...

Introverts can often pass themselves off well as extroverts, but what’s the point?

When I was in public relations I had an introvert’s fear of ringing journalists. I worked around it by learning to write press releases in pure journalistic style so I could get my stuff published in newspapers without having to talk to those fearsome individuals.

When I became a journalist myself I avoided such delights of the trade as “doorstepping” people for quotes. To an introvert, the thought of leaping out of the shrubbery at one in the morning when people of interest arrive home from performing their evil deeds, is not really to be contemplated.

So instead I became very good at research and working out the background to stories. I did reasonably well too, though I know that a little doorstepping and a lot more phone calls would have made my work better. That’s okay, I don’t have multiple personalities – I’m a person, not a Swiss army penknife.

Introvert hangover

These thoughts were inspired by my recent column on introversion, in turn inspired by a blog on the “introvert hangover”. The column brought some interesting responses.

READ MORE

The “introvert hangover” is a feeling of over-stimulation sometimes following by headaches and nausea. Not all – or even most – introverts experience this, I would say, but some do.

The main point of the column was that, according to one long-standing psychological theory, introversion has a genetic base as does extraversion. The introvert gets too much stimulation too quickly from social situations and needs to withdraw. The extravert may not get enough stimulation from quiet activities and needs to ramp things up a bit.

One reader, who describes himself as mildly introverted, writes that over time he has learned to draw a distinction between introversion and lack of confidence – and he's right, many introverts are confident. I would bet the house that Roy Keane is an introvert but I think we can all agree that he is not afflicted by a lack of confidence.

“Something you didn’t mention is the difficulty in sleeping after an evening with lots of people,” says another reader. “It feels as though the brain is struggling to digest all the stimulation before it will allow you to sleep.”

Another writes about a friend who “has brain variations and a slower processing speed for information which consequently leaves her exhausted after prolonged exposure to too much stimulation and trying to concentrate”. Yet only an expert, she says, would be able to detect any unusual level of shyness if observing this person.

Introverts can often pass themselves off quite well as extraverts. The life and soul of the party could be as shy inwardly as any introvert in the room. The most important move introverts can make, in my opinion, is to accept that how they are is just as normal and legitimate as how extraverts are.

A mix of introverts and extroverts is good if you are forming teams. When I was studying psychology I was in one of two groups of people who were asked to design an experiment in social psychology. In my group we noticed that we had all been assessed as introverts in a test the previous day. The other group was made up of extraverts.

By 10pm the introverts had already reached agreement followed by a good innings at the college bar while the extraverts were locked in conflict over what to do. All of which showed me that introverts can get things done while the extraverts are still braying at each other.

The late psychologist Albert Ellis cured his shyness by making himself approach 100 women in Central Park to ask for a date. You wouldn't want to try that today. But he became a bit of a pain in the neck without his shyness. So if you're an introvert, don't go trying to cure something that is completely natural. Adopt this newly minted motto: "I'm in and I'm proud."

The inspiration for my previous column was an article by Shawna Courter which you can find on the "Introvert, Dear" blog, introvertdear.com

Padraig O'Morain is accredited by the Irish Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. His latest book is Mindfulness for Worriers. His daily mindfulness reminder is free by email.

pomorain@yahoo.com @PadraigOMorain