The first six weeks: what to expect for mum and dad

Whether you have had a vaginal birth or a C-section it can take all of these first six weeks to start feeling “right” again.

The first tip from many midwives is to avoid, or limit, visitors in the first weeks, as they will tire the whole family out, and can disrupt efforts to establish breastfeeding.

"Your baby is living in the moment and so should you," advises Margaret Hanahoe, assistant director of midwifery at the National Maternity Hospital. "Do only what is necessary right now. Do not try to be 'superwoman' either. Take whatever help is offered by friends and family. And stay in your pyjamas for two weeks. Once you are dressed, you are considered to be back to normal by visitors, partner and your other children, and you won't be quite yet."

You will find it much easier to look after a new baby’s many needs if you are feeling well yourself. Resting as much as possible, eating well, and ensuring you take all the post-birth painkillers you need will all help. “In addition, if you are breastfeeding you will need to drink at least two litres of water a day and eat an extra 500 calories,” says Hanahoe. “You may experience extreme thirst while feeding; so always make sure you have a glass with you before settling down to feed.”

Many midwives and doctors will also recommend an iron supplement for new mums. “Irrespective of your iron levels during pregnancy, you will have experienced blood loss during birth, so a supplement is a good idea,” explains Hanahoe. “Women with low iron levels after delivery find they are less able to cope, experience greater exhaustion and have poorer milk production.”

After any birth, hygiene is very important. “Washing down with warm water (use a squirty-topped sports bottle) while urinating is a good idea,”says Hanahoe. “Make sure any stitches are completely dry after bathing to prevent an infection.”

In addition, new mothers need to be alert for any signs of infection as the lining of the womb continues to shed, she adds. “This will happen even after a C-section and can continue for up to six weeks if you are breastfeeding.”

After a C-section, Hanahoe advises keeping your wound open to the air as much as possible. “Wear high-waisted maternity underwear, or place a maternity towel between your scar and your pants so the waistband does not chafe, or press into the scar. It can also help to keep a small cushion at hand to hold against your wound if you think you are going to cough or sneeze. If it becomes tender or red, or smelly, or begins to ooze, show it to your midwife or doctor.”

It it is usually advised – check with your midwife or doctor – that you begin some gentle postnatal exercises as soon as possible. “You should be starting pelvic floor exercises within a few days, even after a C-section,’ says Hanahoe. “These will help to tone up your vaginal muscles again and prevent incontinence – this is really important.”

While you may have fallen in love with your baby as soon as you met them, “bonding” is not always immediate for many parents, explains Hanahoe. “Hormonal changes at around day three or four mean most women will also experience some form of the ‘baby blues’. However, if they last longer than a week, or you still feel anxious, overwhelmed, or bothered by recurrent thoughts as the weeks go on, then seek medical help. You may be one of the many women who experience post-natal anxiety or depression.”

Sleep deprivation and exhaustion are the greatest enemies of new mothers (and fathers), particularly . “Take turns sleeping,’ says Hanahoe. “If breastfeeding, it can make sense for the first few days if your partner looks after nappy changes, or takes the baby after a feed so you can nap. Then when your partner returns to work you get up during the night, while they do as much as possible in the mornings. Every hour of sleep counts. Nap when you can and go to bed early.”