Me time: a gap in the schedule when you’re not snorkelling in the laundry basket or using all your fingers and toes to calculate your word count. Photograph: Thinkstock

I can’t stand photos of smiley middle-aged enthusiasts with exclamation marks tagged on to their testimonials telling me that the (...)

Lurking under the subheading ‘Oedipus – Schmoedipus!’ was a request from a man who described himself as ‘academic (60), Jewish, genial’, who was looking for ‘a slim older woman with whom to spend agreeable times’. Photograph: Thinkstock

Maybe it was the Domestos fumes, but I found a sixtysomething’s search for love in the London Review of Books uplifting

Double date: Jason is excited that Valentine’s Day follows Friday the 13th

If you’re girding your loins against the grim confluence of Friday the 13th and another lonely ride on the Valentine’s Day roundab(...)

Wear a mask: A worker at a flower plantation in Ecuador prepares for Valentine’s Day. Photograph: Guillermo Granja/Reuters

Especially when they look like a scene from a Jennifer Aniston romcom

The Count: doesn’t know how lucky he is

‘What weight is the cat?’ the vet asks when I ask her for worm pills. ‘Five pounds’ is my random and utterly inaccurate guess

January:  an odd month. Like a lousy host, she invites you to party, but when you arrive, the lights are out and she’s gone to bed

Hilary Fannin: My friend who shouts wolf is right about 2015 so far

The goldfish won’t forget this in a hurry. Photograph: Thinkstock

Not only is anxiety a function of the times we live in, it’s also cool. Embrace it

‘In the words of Lou Reed, I’m beginning to see the light.’ Photograph: Miguel Vidal/Reuters

My default setting is beleaguered, not wise

Number one in the disappointment chart was ‘not seeing enough of the world’. Having come of age in an era when long haul meant dragging the coal bag around the back, I too feel the pain. But is it ever too late to say ‘one-way ticket, please’?

Recently some academic set about researching the top 10 things in life people most regret. Shag it, I say

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