Celebrity Kris Kindle: What do you give to the rich and famous?

What do you buy for that celebrity/pop star/movie legend/politician in your life that they haven’t already got? And how do you it for under €30?

 

Kris Kindle is a cheap and democratic way to spend at Christmas, and because a maximum price is set on the present, it means no one’s nose is put out of joint because someone else got a better pressie than them.

But just imagine if you pulled a famous person’s name out of the hat. What do you buy for that celebrity/pop star/movie legend/politician in your life that they haven’t already got? And how do you it for under €30? Here’s our Celebrity Kris Kindle – dip in and see who you get on your Christmas list this year.

Enda Kenny: Mojo hair styling products, €15.55 from mojo-style.com

For the Taoiseach who cares about his image, this British men’s styling range has an “elegant swagger” and a “charismatic, sensual” fragrance. Enda can choose from Hair Clay, Fibre Shaper or Styling Cream to keep his mojo nicely in shape through a busy day of Dáil debates and Leaders’ Questions.

Taylor Swift: My Virtual Boyfriend app, free from the App Store

Beautiful and talented though she is, the US singing star can’t seem to find a boyfriend who lives up to her very exacting standards. So get her the My Virtual Boyfriend app from the App Store. She can tailor her virtual boyfriend to suit her, and the best thing is he’ll never compete with her for the limelight. It’s free, but there are plenty of in-app purchases you can get her to enhance her boyfriend experience.

Kim Kardashian: Tile Bluetooth tracking device, £14.99 from Amazon

Kim’s carrying around a lot of bling, and recently had millions of dollars worth of jewellery robbed from her in Paris. For just under €20 she can get one of these nifty GPS trackers – she can conceal it under one of those big rocks she wears.

Donald Trump: ‘Rules of the Game’, by Neil Strauss, £8.99 on Amazon.co.uk

It’s clear that The Donald needs some help with his pick-up techniques – barging in and groping at will just doesn’t seem to be working. This ridiculously macho guide for pick-up artists came out about 10 years ago – just about the time he was giving his now-notorious “locker room” talk.

Gerry Adams: Teddy Bear Passport, €22 from bearessentials.ie

The Sinn Féin leader’s teddy bears will still need a passport to travel if a hard border returns to the North following Brexit. The bearessentials.ie site has lots of other accessories for your teddy bear.

Theresa May: Union Jack Onesie, €19.43 from unionjackshop.co.uk

With the British prime minister signalling a hard exit from the EU, you can forget about buying her a bottle of French wine or an Italian scarf. This Union Jack onesie makes a real statement: we’re cosy, snug and self-sufficient, with head-to-toe protection from any European muck you care to throw at us.

The O’Donovan brothers: Barbecue grill T-Shirt, €25.48 from spreadshirt.ie

This custom tee-shirt makes a statement, and the statement is: “Shteak and potatoes for tea, boy!” Add your own O’Donovanism to complete the perfect picture.

Rory McIlroy: ‘The Feckin’ Book of Irish Insults for Gobdaws as Thick as Manure and only Half as Useful’, €7.99 from O’Brien Press, obrien.ie

The golfer should keep this book by Colin Murphy and Donal O’Dea with him on the PGA tour. The next time he encounters a heckler, he can hit right back with such gems as “For someone with no cows, you produce an awful lot of bullshit” or “You’re the sap in the family tree” .

Micheál Martin: ‘A Game of Thrones’ – The Board Game: A Feast for Crows, £24.99 from Amazon.co.uk.

The FF leader needs something to while away the time while he waits patiently for his moment to retake control of the House of Leinster. This extension for the Game of Thrones board game should help him pass the time. As Littlefinger said to Sansa: “If they are never certain who you are or what you want, they cannot know what you are like to do next. Sometimes the best way to baffle them is to make moves that have no purpose, or even seem to work against you.”

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