Patsy McGarry: In a word

Humbug


I’ve always felt Ebenezer Scrooge got a raw deal. Truly, one of the most honest men in literature. A man who called a spade a spade, a fraud a fraud, and referred to so much that surrounds Christmas as the awful humbug it truly is.

Or, to be more accurate, “Bah Humbug!”.

And he was dealing with a world where the wash of sentimentality unleashed during an 1840s Christmas was a mere drizzle compared to the tsunami of treacle that deluges us now. His Christmas predated much of what we take for granted as essential to the season, such as the Christmas tree, Christmas cards, even that great old fraud Santa Claus.

How would the inflexibly honest Scrooge have reacted to the sight of an obese, overdressed, old man insisting that a herd of inoffensive reindeer drag him around the world on a sleigh heavily laden with toys, and all within a 24-hour period? Unspeakable cruelty.

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Not just that, but lead deer Rudolf continually suffers from a severe cold, as evidenced by his red nose. Even sickness does not excuse the poor deer from such a murderous annual haul.

There is also the repeated spectacle of the fat old guy stuffing himself uninvited down chimneys worldwide, including at a home near you. Possibly at your home too, if you have children.

But worse. Soon it becomes very clear he is drunk and driving, as in each home there is the inevitable glass of sherry, and Christmas cake. The miracle of it all, and the only one, is that despite all the alcohol and cake, he can still get down those chimneys as he nears journey’s end, as well as get back out again each time.

That this man and his journey is so enthusiastically promoted every year, and not just in Coke ads, has to rank as grossest irresponsibility. It is remarkable that no animal-rights activist, no Mothers Against Drunk Driving, no anti-obesity league has uttered a whimper in public against this annual carry-on and the shocking example it gives to children who, allegedly, are ultimately the beneficiaries of this exercise. Ebenezer Scrooge where are you now? We need you.

Humbug is of unknown origin but is believed to have originated in 18th-century student slang, meaning "a trick, jest, hoax, or deception." inaword@irishtimes.com