Credit to Netflix for a gut-wrenching picture of teen suicide

Netflix's 13 Reasons Why is the latest teen show on our screens and, while its portrayal of suicide and rape has been criticised for being either too graphic or romanticised, it captures the many problems teenagers face today. Instead of covering the children's eyes and banning it, as they have in New Zealand, we need to discuss the issues it addresses.

What happens in your teens can shape the rest of your life, affecting how you go into relationships, look at yourself in the mirror or communicate with friends and family. Throw things such as online bullying, popularity ratings, revenge porn and slut-shaming into the mix and you have a very different childhood to the one people experienced in a pre-internet world.

If you were born some time between 1985 and 1995, you didn’t necessarily grow up online, but with Bebo and Myspace making their impact while you were still in secondary school or college, you have some idea.

As well as a coming-of-age drama, it's an insight into what it's like to grow up online

If you were born before 1985, it’s fair to say that you couldn’t understand what it’s like to have your appearance rated by likes and comments on a daily basis or to have the contents of your private diary make their way to a Facebook status or tweet.

13 Reasons Why, adapted from the novel by Jay Asher, is highly stylised and sleekly produced and has an incredible soundtrack. As well as a coming-of-age drama, it's an insight into what it's like to grow up online.

Depression’s many forms

Hannah Baker (Katherine Langford) is the lead character and narrator. In the first episode, we learn that she killed herself, leaving 13 tapes behind for people she believes played a role in her death.

To find 13 blank tapes and a tape recorder in this day and age is one idea that you just have to get on board with before you watch every episode.

Many people are also challenging the notion that a suicidal teen would do this.

But depression takes many forms. Hannah’s depression is portrayed in her wavering confidence and the way she subtly retreats from society but maintains a brave face to her parents. It may not be the way that you or I have experienced depression, but there is no clear blueprint.

She tries to talk to her parents but they have their own financial issues, so she keeps it to herself. More crucially, when she decides to speak to someone who should help – her school’s guidance counsellor – she is let down. This is one of the most devastating scenes in the series.

When it comes to mental health, the mantra “talk to someone” has been drilled into our heads, but finding the right person to talk to is where many people struggle.

13 Reasons Why is screaming at us to listen

We are told that it takes a while to find the right therapist for your needs. Personalities can clash or it can take time – and, unfortunately, money – to find the best treatment method, whether it’s cognitive behavioural therapy or emotionally focused therapy.

13 Reasons Why is screaming at us to listen. Cries for help come in many ways – in real life or on social media – and you can easily ignore them, scroll past them on your various timelines or Whatsapp them to a friend, saying "I hope they're all right". 13 Reasons Why warns us what can happen when we don't take the time to listen to someone in need of help.

Hannah isn't the only character in the show struggling with mental health issues. Her high-school peers deal with parental abuse, coming to terms with their sexuality, God complexes, alcohol abuse, isolation and even gun control. Hannah's mother, Olivia, played by Kate Walsh of Grey's Anatomy, has a permanent glazed and hollow look, capturing the shattering effects of losing a child. Her performance is gut-wrenching as she tries to piece together what happened to her only child in the last few weeks of her life.

Graphic detail

The graphic depiction of Hannah’s own suicide is at odds with the Press Council of Ireland’s code of practice, where “in the reporting of suicide, excessive detail of the means of suicide should be avoided”.

Where Netflix fails in this case, is that is does not offer any helpline information once an episode ends. Before each episode stars, we are warned about the graphic nature of the show, but when it ends, it's just us staring at a blank screen.

Even lunchtime episodes of Home and Away on RTÉ1 offer helpline numbers as the credits roll if any sensitive issues occur. Online streaming services need to step up in this regard.

They can do more than terrestrial TV can by speaking directly to consumers. Most online shopping services have an instant messaging function, and that could be where online streaming takes us: cutting out the phoneline and offering help there and then.

Elsewhere on Netflix, the 2016 documentary Audrie & Daisy covers the real-life consequences of sexual assault, depression and the impact of online bullying on teenage girls specifically. If 13 Reasons Why overstylises suicide and sexual assault, Audrie & Daisy gets down to the bare bones of it.

Teenage shows are often over-the-top and, as with Dawson's Creek and The OC, which came long before Netflix, conversations can be over-intellectualised. 13 Reasons Why is no different. But the discussion that it has started is one that we need to have urgently, no matter what age we are.

Being a teenager has never been easy and that will never change. So instead of shutting down issues that affect teenagers, we need to listen.

• Anyone affected by the issues raised in this story can contact the Samaritans on 116123, Aware on 1800-804848 or Childline on 1800-666666