Alvin and the Chipmunks - The Road Chip review: gives rodents a bad name

There comes a depressing moment in the fourth Alvin and the Ca$hmunks film – or rather particularly depressing moment – when the titular boorish nuisance finds himself seated next to John Waters on an airplane. "Don't judge me; I've seen Pink Flamingos."

And there it is. The best joke of the franchise, to date. And yet it pains the viewer: John Waters, one of American cinema's most dazzling talents, has not been able to get a film off the ground since 2004's A Dirty Shame.

Meanwhile, this meritless sequence has taken $1.3 billion and counting.

That’s quite a chunk of change for CG rodents, flatulence jokes and helium- voiced cover versions.

As ever, Alvin and cohorts speak in fluent sitcom-ese: “That sounded way less weird in my head”, z-snap, “Awkward!” and so on.

As ever, the plot separates the money-spinning critters from their human minder Dave (Jason Lee), thereby allowing for maximum naughtiness and at least one unwelcome blast of Sir Mix-A-Lot's Baby Got Back. As ever, the mere mention of Miami allows for a vine-sized rendition of Miami Sound Machine's Conga.

Normally dependable comic actors are wasted in roles that are – conjure this phrase – too silly for Alvin and the Chipmunks: Jennifer Coolidge is the short-sighted outwitted babysitter-next-door – oh, the hilarity of visual impairment – and Veep's Tony Hale pops forehead veins as the vengeful Air Marshall who places Alvin on the No Fly List.

You know things are bad when you find yourself yearning for the comparative wit (“Fast and Furry-ous”, “Boys On the Hood”, etc) of the poster campaign.

And then The Chipettes are on American Idol. For some reason. Alvin!