How to recognise a job worth a long-term relationship

BUSINESS LIFE:A job, it seems to me, is a lot like a marriage. In some ways it’s better, as you get paid; and in others it’s worse, as there are more meetings. Otherwise, both involve a selection process for which you dress up smartly and try to look brighter or prettier than you really are.

Both are heavy-duty commitments, together accounting for the bulk of our time as well as a good deal of our pleasure and pain. For either arrangement to last, the same conditions apply. A decent choice must have been made in the first place, and then it’s down to such underrated things as compromise, mutual respect, effort and (possibly) a certain lack of imagination.

There are, of course, a few differences: you don’t quit a marriage at 65 with a gold watch and a send-off party. Though, increasingly, you don’t quit a job this way either, as retirement is a luxury hardly anyone can afford. You could also say that only marriage involves love and passion. But this is no longer the case. A recent opinion poll of 5,000 British people concluded that passion between a man and a woman lasts on average 938 days; whereas modern jobs demand passion not just for the first couple of years but forever.

Indeed, when Simon Robey, a senior investment banker, recently quit Morgan Stanley, he claimed he would go on being a “passionate advocate” of the company’s “capabilities and values” even after having handed in his notice.

Another difference is in our attitude to ending the arrangement. People tend not to congratulate you when you trade in your existing spouse for a newer model. Yet almost everyone thinks quitting the old job for a new one marks progress of some sort: it shows ambition, imagination, courage and so on.

As someone who has stuck it out with the same employer for 27 years, I’ve never liked this view. A lasting job should be seen as a sign of success, just as a lasting marriage is.

Given the importance of getting the initial selection right, it’s surprising how little advice is given on how best to do it. While young lovers are bombarded with (unwanted) views on whether they have found Mr or Ms Right, no one helps people know if their current job is a keeper or not.

Until now, that is. On the Fast Company website there is a piece called 8 Signs You’ve Found Your Life’s Work which spells it out.