Donald Clarke

Whingeing about cinema and real life since 2009

Plot for Star Wars Episode VIII doesn’t really leak online

Ah, come on now. I’m not buying any of this. Nonetheless, be aware there may be “spoilers” below.

Thu, Apr 21, 2016, 17:06

   

Look, I know such things do happen. The whole world had copies of the Hateful Eight two years before the film actually arrived, but I don’t believe this story about the script leaking for Rian Johnson’s “Star Wars Episode VIII: Echoes of the Dark Side” (as I bet it’s not called). It is possible that Mark Hamill left a copy in the jacks of that Kerry pub after shooting on Star Wars Island, but it doesn’t seem enormously likely. What really sets my alarm bells ringing is the fact that the information listed on Reddit is so deeply rooted in mythology rather than narrative. That’s to say it reeks of “fan service”. The last film succeeded by worrying little about that and focussing more closely on story. This is all the sort of stuff that people babble about at two o’clock in the morning on, well, Reddit.

If you haven’t checked it out (and you don’t mind risking “spoilers”) here are a few of the suggestions in the post. Pepper and salt them about your psyche as you wish. “The backstory to Luke and his Jedi being wiped out is that Snoke seduced Kylo and a few of the other students to the dark side and tasked them with killing everyone.” Well that sounds possible, if not enormously interesting. “The broad structure isn’t as similar to ESB as TFA was to ANH, but the parallels are still present. Rey is training in the ways of the Force with an old Jedi master (Luke) on a wild planet while Finn and Poe are in a beautiful city that has a shady, sinister underpinning,” it goes on. How does a city have any sort of “underpinning”? Are these the screenwriters’ words or those of the internet spy. Either way, it sounds a bit thin. Then we get to the huge reveal. Are you ready? “Rey is pissed at Luke because she guesses that he was her father and is angry at him for abandoning her. Luke turns to her and says ‘No, you are my father’”. Yes, the leak argues that Rey — as played by Daisy Ridley — is the reincarnation of Anakin Skywalker. Hang on? Doesn’t that mean that she is also Darth Vader? I’m sorry. If this does prove to be the twist I will debase myself furiously in this place, but, for now, I am filing these rumours under  ”The Man in the Pub Said”.