Donald Clarke

Whingeing about cinema and real life since 2009

Look away. It’s the unamusing Razzies

Once again, the nominations for “worst of the year” prove boringly conservative.

Wed, Jan 15, 2014, 17:27

   

Over the last few decades, we have all bored ourselves silly pointing out that the Oscars are driven by money and overly influenced by arm-twisting lobbyists. You’d think that the Golden Raspberry Awards would offer some sort of stirring corrective. The official “worst film” gongs are, surely, likely, to cut through the crap. Not at all. Year in, year out, the Razzies show themselves to be even more at home to hype and even more addicted to celebrity than their grown-up cousin. If Madonna (RazzieWorld’s Meryl Streep) makes a film she will — irrespective of its quality — always get nominated. The year’s most conspicuous financial flop will — even if perfectly tolerable — find itself up for worst film. Lindsay Lohan is a popular target. The perfectly amiable Twilight films also tend to draw unfunny ire.

Anyway, this year’s list — announced the ady before the Oscar nominations — is every bit as lazy and predictable as ever. True to form, the voters have soaked up industry whining about the perfectly decent Lone Ranger and nominated if for worst picture. Adam Sandler is back in the (admittedly terrible) Grown Ups 2. Another regular in the trade papers, After Earth, joins those two alongside A Madea Christmas and Movie 43 in the hall of shame. For goodness sake! If you’re going to highlight a much-heralded disaster at least focus on a singular one like Diana. (Naomi Watts does make it in for worst actress, mind.)

Oh well. If you still find the gag even half-amusing, here are the nominations in full:

WORST PICTURE

“After Earth”

“Grown Ups 2″

“The Lone Ranger”

“A Madea Christmas”

“Movie 43″

WORST ACTOR

Johnny Depp, “The Lone Ranger”

Ashton Kutcher, “Jobs”

Adam Sandler, “Grown Ups 2″

Jaden Smith, “After Earth”

Sylvester Stallne, “Bullet to the Head”/”Escape Plan”/”Grudge Match”

WORST ACTRESS

Halle Berry, “The Call”/”Movie 43″

Selena Gomez, “Getaway”

Lindsay Lohan, “The Canyons”

Tyler Perry, “A Madea Christmas”

Naomi Watts, “Diana”/”Movie 43″

WORST SUPPORTING ACTOR

Chris Brown, “Battle of the Year”

Larry the Cable Guy, “A Madea Christmas”

Taylor Lautner, “Grown Ups 2″

Will Smith, “After Earth”

Nick Swardson, “A Haunted House”/”Grown Ups 2″

WORST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Lady Gaga, “Machete Kills”

Salma Hayek, “Grown Ups 2″

Katherine Heigl, “The Big Wedding”

Kim Kardashian, “Tyler Perry’s Temptation”

Lindsay Lohan, “InAPPropriate Comedy”/”Scary Movie 5″

WORST DIRECTOR

The 13 People Who Directed “Movie 43″

Dennis Dugan, “Grown Ups 2″

Tyler Perry, “A Madea Christmas”/”Temptation”

M. Night Shyamalan, “After Earth”

Gore Verbinski, “The Lone Ranger”

WORST SCREENPLAY

“After Earth” – Gary Whitta, M. Night Shyamalan, Will Smith

“Grown Ups 2″ – Fred Wolfe, Adam Sandler, Tim Herlihy

“The Lone Ranger” – Ted Elliott, Justin Haythe, Terry Rosso

“A Madea Christmas” – Tyler Perry

“Movie 43″ – Written by 19 “Screenwriters”

WORST SCREEN COMBO

The Entire Cast of “Grown Ups 2″

The Entire Cast of “Movie 43″

Lindsay Lohan & Charlie Sheen, “Scary Movie 5″

Tyler Perry & Either Larry the Cable Guy or That Worn-Out Wig & Dress, “A Madea Christmas”

Jaden Smith & Will Smith on Planet Nepotism, “After Earth”

WORST REMAKE, RIP-OFF, OR SEQUEL

“Grown Ups 2″

“The Hangover Part III”

“The Lone Ranger”

“Scary Movie 5″

“The Smurfs 2″

 

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