Donald Clarke

Whingeing about cinema and real life since 2009

James Bond on the beach

Through the wonders of modern technology, I am able to relay this near-live image of Dr No screening on the beach at the lovely Cannes Film Festival. By now you will have read my review of Ulrich Seidl’s Paradise: Love, …

Fri, May 18, 2012, 00:09

   

Through the wonders of modern technology, I am able to relay this near-live image of Dr No screening on the beach at the lovely Cannes Film Festival. By now you will have read my review of Ulrich Seidl’s Paradise: Love, which plays in the competition tomorrow. If not, then do do immediately. ¬†Obviously, severe Austrian films — and severe films from other parts of the world — are what you sent me here to examine. But other things do go on in Cannes. Apparently people who aren’t pathologically anti-social spend puzzling amounts of time drinking lurid pink drinks on yachts. The streets are alive with people who, though rich, don’t look as if they’ve done an honest days work in their lives.

And, of course, there are fun events like the season of Bond films playing down on the sand. Now, here’s a thought. I mentioned yachts and — by extension — sinister master criminals. Before the Bond film started I glanced out at the large boats in the Mediterranean and ¬†noticed that, among the gleaming white vessels, there was one dubious, lurking black boat. If a Bond villain were to make shore in Cannes this is surely the mode of transport he’d employ. Nobody is to make any jokes about Harvey Weinstein. Argh! There’s a snake in my boot.

Anyway, here’s a grainy snap. You can’t deny that it looks suspicious. The black boat is, well, the black one in the middle.