Donald Clarke

Whingeing about cinema and real life since 2009

Hitler invented 3-D

Isn’t there some theory arguing that, after a certain number of iterations, any argument on the internet will result in a mention of Hitler? “You prefer dogs to cats? So did Hitler. What does that tell you? Huh, huh?” That …

Fri, Feb 18, 2011, 15:36

   

Isn’t there some theory arguing that, after a certain number of iterations, any argument on the internet will result in a mention of Hitler? “You prefer dogs to cats? So did Hitler. What does that tell you? Huh, huh?” That sort of thing. Happily, for all those sensible people who hate 3-D, there is now a short-cut to the Hitler gambit. A recent report suggests that the Nazis did indeed devise the unlovely process.

It seems that Phillipe Mora, an Australian film-maker, has uncovered several bumpy films shot by Nazi propagandists in the mid-1930s. The first carries the unambiguous title So Real You can Touch It. The second emerged under the more intriguing moniker Six Girls Roll Into Weekend. One imagines Aryan girls in swimsuits (or not) gamely volleying beach balls back and forwards to one another.

“The quality of the films is fantastic,” Mora said. “The Nazis were obsessed with recording everything and every single image was controlled – it was all part of how they gained control of the country and its people.”

Heed those words, film fans. That’s “how  they gained control of the country and its people.” Each time you don the silly glasses you are helping Megapictures dominate the universe. Before long, you will be their helpless slaves. Hitler invented 3-D. What does that tell you? Huh? Huh?

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