Donald Clarke

Whingeing about cinema and real life since 2009

A word on the most idiotic film awards

No, I’m not talking about the Oscars. Is there any institution less mirthsome than The Golden Raspberry Awards? Don’t get me wrong. I bow to nobody in my enthusiasm for turning wretched films into metaphorical peñatas. But the Razzies are …

Tue, Feb 8, 2011, 22:42

   

No, I’m not talking about the Oscars. Is there any institution less mirthsome than The Golden Raspberry Awards? Don’t get me wrong. I bow to nobody in my enthusiasm for turning wretched films into metaphorical peñatas. But the Razzies are just so deadeningly obvious. Year after year, they ignore genuinely abysmal performances and movies in favour of obvious star-laden minor misfires and — a favourite target — only modestly incompetent turns by pop stars. If you want to win one of these things just make sure to get Madonna’s agent on the phone good and early. In short, they are far more in thrall to celebrity than the Oscars.

L ro R: Man, man, good egg, John J B Wilson.

Instituted back in 1980 by John J B Wilson, by all accounts a charming fellow, the worst picture has, in previous years, gone to such films as Mommie Dearest (a camp classic), Rambo: First Blood II (oh, come on!), Indecent Proposal (so original), Showgirls (see Mommie Dearest), Swept Away (ha ha! Madonna) and Catwoman (see Mommie Dearest).

The lowest moment for the Awards came, by many people’s reckoning, in that first session, when they nominated Stanley Kubrick as worst director for The Shining. Actually, I think this was one of their better choices. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t agree with the selection. Indeed, that Stephen King adaptation is one of my favourite films. But, in this instance, they, at least, showed a degree of original thinking. (Only a degree, mind. Remember that The Shining actually opened to mixed reviews.)

Having made my feelings on the awards clear, I would have to admit that my answer to the big question — should nominees turn up to accept the award? — sounds slightly contrary.  Of course you should. Awarding worst actress to Sandra Bullock last year for All About Steve was clearly a stunt. By that stage, it seemed clear that she was going to win the Oscar for The Blind Side. Nonetheless, for all the silliness of the Razzies, you do look like a good egg if you slope along and deliver a few quips. The most notable performance was that by Paul Verhoeven in 1995. The Dutch eccentric seemed genuinely delighted to triumph for Showgirls.

At any rate, this year, in a deliberate attempt to stir up fury on the internet (a perfectly honorable aim in itself), the organisers have handed out a staggering nine nominations to The Twilight Saga: Eclipse. Angry teenage boys will be delighted. Other multi-nomimated films include Vampires Suck, The Last Airbender and Sex and the City 2. Hey, even I think that last inclusion is too darn obvious.

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