Donald Clarke

Whingeing about cinema and real life since 2009

If you read one “blog” today, read Screenwriter!!!!

On the previous post, a number of people pointed out a quote on the trailer for the Carney Brothers’ upcoming Zonad from (hem, hem) The Irish Times. Mr Times said the low-budget alien invasion flick was “uproariously funny” or “blood-curdlingly …

Thu, Feb 25, 2010, 23:09

   

On the previous post, a number of people pointed out a quote on the trailer for the Carney Brothers’ upcoming Zonad from (hem, hem) The Irish Times. Mr Times said the low-budget alien invasion flick was “uproariously funny” or “blood-curdlingly hilarious” or something. To be fair, I think the quote is accurate and is not used gratuitously out of context. But it still seems a bit bald when pulled from its paragraph and flung at a seated audience.

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“He said what now?” 

An example of genuine misuse of a critic’s copy was picked up by The Guardian yesterday. It seems that the DVD of Dead Man Running — a horrible Danny Dyer film financed by various footballers — carries the following “quote” from that no-longer Mancunian paper: “‘Delivers performances that will almost certainly be seen as stellar”. The quote does not appear in Mad Pete Bradshaw‘s review or in any related features. It transpires that the distributors plucked the phrase from a football “blog” by Barry Glendenning. Barry (one of our own, incidentally) happily admits that he has never seen the film and that the comment was meant satirically.

I still maintain, however, that the most outrageous example of quote manipulation involved the Irish film The Most Fertile Man in Ireland. One DVD issue of the comedy informs us that The Observer felt it was “every bit as hilarious as its title suggests”.  A glance at the review by Mark Kermode (standing in for Philip French that day) confirms that the full sentence read: “Sadly, The Most Fertile Man in Ireland is every bit as hilarious as its title suggests.” I told Mark this when I met him in a lift shortly afterwards and, like me, he felt the distributors had demonstrated such outrageous chutzpah you really had to take your hat off to them.

Incidentally, the distributors of Dead Man Running were unable to misrepresent this paper in their advertising because they didn’t even bother showing the film to the Irish press. Make of that what you will.

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