Don’t You Have Anything Better To Do?
It’s the first ever post in your new favourite “blog”
Hello, hello, hello, hello. Oh, let’s just let Mr Lydon do the intros:What you are looking at is the first pathetic spasms of (to punctuate in the style of The Irish Times letters page) a “blog” by obscure, Irish Times film writer Donald Clarke. As well as writing reviews of movies, interviewing cinema professionals, spewing up facetious think-pieces and compiling a smart-Alec movie quiz, I also write a fortnightly column in The Ticket, our unmissable entertainment supplement, called — like this “blog” — Screenwriter. In this week’s screed, I pretend to hate (are we’re still doing the letters page gag?) these “trendy” “blog” things and go on to explain that on-line Screenwriter will be every bit as opinionated as the average teenage, sugar-powered rant and as up-itself the typical pretentious grad student-written cineaste hang-out.
“What’s new?” you probably don’t actually ask. “I can get that from Clarke every Friday in my brilliant soaraway Ticket, where I will also find many excellent articles on ‘pop’ music.” The most obvious difference is that cyber-Screenwriter will permit (maybe even encourage) a degree of interactivity. If you can be bothered to comment on the thoughts included here or in the print version of the paper then by all means fire them at us and, after weeding out the Holocaust deniers, creditors and Watchmen enthusiasts, we will smack them at the bottom of the “blog” (I’ll stop this joke shortly).
You should also be aware that, whereas the core of robo-Screenwriter remains cinema, the “blog” will also take in any other pop-cultural issue that floats through my brain throughout the day. So, if you don’t want to hear that the last album I bought was Manafon by David Sylvian or that I’m enjoying the new series of Peep Show or that the DVD-issue of The World at War rules, then you had best get ready for frequent hammering of your computer’s scroll key. Don’t fret, though. There’ll still be plenty of whining about Matthew McConaughey, pondering of Hollywood gossip and recommendations of classic movies.
This format also allows us to ponder the latest trailers and speculate as to what they signify. That means an awful lot of scratching our heads at James Cameron’s upcoming Avatar. Some naughty people say that the trailer makes the film look like the Smurfs remade by the dread Roger Dean. Then again, many who saw the 3-D preview of 16 minutes (I didn’t) felt the film looked “way awesome” and that it “like rocked to the max”. We’ll leave you with the evidence. Start working on your sarcastic comments now. Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.