OK my five are:

1. I can make stained glass windows, and my bathroom window is the last piece I made.

2. I won a competition as a child where part of the prize was a trip to New York to take part in the St Patrick’s Day Parade

3. A relative of my husband’s took part in the Easter Rising. On the British side.

4. I once visited Irish showjumping legend Eddie Macken’s yard and he let me sit on his horse Boomerang

5. One of the most disastrous dates of my life was with John Ryan (the VIP guy) before he was famous.

1. Met my husband via yahoo personals

2. Partied and played pool with Hayseed Dixie after a Dublin concert.

3. A member of our family played in the 1982 world cup.

4. My great aunt has been engaged for 50 years to the same man, they’ve never lived together and he goes home to his own house every night. He bought her a new engagement ring to celebrate.

5. My mother was the Irish womens bowls champion.

If you insist young sir…

1. I don’t do angry almost ever. It’s why I deal so badly with it once in a millennium when I do.

2. I’ve been published once, but under a pseudonym so few people knew. I’ve written since I was 16.

3. I have a mild obsession about the names of minor actors in bit parts in movies.

4. I’m increasingly starting to believe the internet is a bad thing.

5. I may have given up my blog but I still run one other, two secret ones and one new one. That, I think, is in my blood.

1. My grandfather played in goals for Ireland. We have the letter at home asking him to do this “great honour”. Not framed though…

2. When I was 12, I chaired the winning team
on Teilifis na Gaeilge’s Eureka. Sadly my dreams of Blackboard Jungle fame came to nought.

3. When I worked in Zara in Regent St I served Dame Helen Mirren. In Zara in Dublin it was Nicky from Westlife and Georgina Ahern. I think that says a lot.

4. When I’m talking to people, I write out the conversation in long hand in my head. Then I cross the Ts and dot the Is and count how many pen strokes it takes me. I’ve done it since I was a child and have no idea how to stop it.

5. I was at a party once with Gisele. She was very tall, obscenely thin and looked 15 years older than she was. She drank one glass of champagne and left, smiles and air kisses for everyone.

1. i was an extra in ballykissangel when i was 17
2. my grandmother was the first irish woman to play with the orchestra on bbc radio
3. my great great grandfather managed to set up irish dancing lessons for the ascendancy in the gresham ballroom.
4. i am quite proud about the fact that i have more than one gold tooth
5. my father invented The original Greenbag for Superquinn, the first bag of it’s kind in the world.

I had a black eye on both my communion and wedding days

I once went to the doctor for an antibiotic and sold her a house instead

I never did my Internet cert

I kissed Phil Collins’s bass guitarist

During a single week, I moved house, had a documentary I made go out on RTE, and gave birth six weeks early

@ 13: is this the point at which random morphs into ‘totally gone to the pictures’…? Blogtastic! all the same…

My great-grandmother on my dad’s side had her eye knocked out by a black and tan, and another relative spent time in the prison on Spike Island in Cork.

I can do lots of different accents, but rarely get to use them – my favourites are Australian and South African. I used to get into pubs when I was 16 by pretending I was Australian.

I often think in shorthand (Gregg shorthand)

I got bitten on the hand by a swan when I was feeding one at the Lough in Cork when I was a kid…haven’t looked the same at them since!

I’m so afraid of driving I haven’t learned how to yet – I tried but gave up because it nearly gave me panic attacks! My instructor said I was the most nervous learner he’d ever met.

@Chas, your mum will be delighted to hear that Shirley Eaton is alive and well. http://www.snopes.com/movies/films/goldfinger.asp

1. My dad was in loads of the Ealing comedies. He went to school next to the studios and he and his mates would be whistled up whenever they needed kids in a scene.

2. This year, before my birthday in August, I will have become the person who’s played the ukulele further north than anyone in history.

3. I was asked to become a drummer for Sigue Sigue Sputnik. It was the night before leaving for my first year at university, so I said no.

4. I once had the hardest job in the world – marketing manager for the Complete Works Of Lenin in 47 volumes. My press releases weren’t exactly snappy or convincing.

5. I performed Blue Moon of Kentucky live on national television in Uzbekistan in a duet with the country’s biggest pop star.

I once told Kevin Sheilds’ (My Bloody Valentine) parents to f*ck off in Whelans.

I can fit the top of a pint glass in my mouth and drink the contents (oh dear, are these all going to be booze-related?…)

I have a tiny hole at the base of my spine that a doctor friend once told me could be a mild,undeveloped form of spina bifida.

Gabriel Byrne once heard me on a train improvising an entire scene in which he was masturbating and talking to himself. I was ‘entertaining’ friends after they had seen him. He was in the carriage,without my knowledge. Shame.

A number of friends have told me in the last few years that I was good enough to have been a professional footballer.They neglected to tell me this when I ACTUALLY PLAYED football years ago.I am now too old and too unfit.It’s just goal-hanging for me now….

I once gatecrashed the bar at the Hot Press music awards with a college buddy just so I could talk to Bill Graham and Tom Dunne. It was a drunken and very enjoyable night.

I have a white spot in the middle of my left pupil which affects my peripheral vision. I’ve never had a car crash or knocked down a cyclist.

My great-grandfather fought in the first World War with the Royal Dublin Fusiliers and was gassed during the Somme offensive. He died in 1948 on January 7th, which is also my birthday (the day, not the year ).

I worked in Hughes & Hughes bookshop in Dublin airport for three months while I was at college and served Edna O’Brien and Barry Devlin, who was one of the loveliest customers ever. The regular customers were always the rudest.

I was a very bad ballet dancer as a child but I was at least able to do the splits.

1. Had a sucessful date with the Rose of Belgium after the festival in 88.
2. Had a Row with one of the Birmingham Six in the last watering hole now Lillies
3. Raced down Kilternan ski slope on a roof rack
4. Bunked into the Grand slam in Cardiff last year.
5. Once bought charcol thinking it was hash

I sang happy birthday to Cheryl Ladd.

I translated the Villareal football clubs website into English

I once extinguished 50 lit matches in my mouth – burnt my thumb but not my mouth surprisingly.

I carried the virgin around a town in Spain while dressed like bad extra from a KKK film as part of the Semana Santa processions two years in a row – not bad for an atheist.

And to continue the Primal Scream theme to the thread Mani once jealously complemented me on my choice a hat wear at a gig – a diy reni hat…

1. My cousin was the bar owner on the Trouble with Tribbles epi of Star Trek.

2. I’ve always liked The Monkees better than The Beatles.

3. Was supposed to go to a City Council meeting as part of a school assignment and get a paper signed by a council member. I bought mine instead.

4. Was briskly walking to the bank before it closed and the Rolling Stones, coming out of a hotel, politely moved out of my way.

5. My great uncle went to Federal Prison but told his family he was going off to University.

1. I caught a thief attempting to steal a camera from a tourist when I was 12, and years later interrupted another attempted camera theft on a night train to Venice

2. A friend bought a hat in a second hand shop, without knowing I had made it. It was one of only around ten hats I had made for a Christmas craft fair in the mid 90’s

3. Myself and a work colleague are related to the polar explorers Shackleton and Crean, who travelled together on the Endurance Expedition of 1914

4. BoI gave me a mortgage (‘06), despite declaring my one year work contract -those were the days!

5. My first flight was in a four seater plane when I was 9, we flew over the ESB ‘pigeon house’ and looked down into the chimneys. I won the flight for sending in a drawing to RTE Youngline

1) Foods that I hated as a child but now like include: rice, Brown Bread, Red Meat, Onion, Brown Sauce, and courgettes.

2) When I was little, I really wanted to be a pilot.

3) I am the proud owner of a signed copy of “statecraft” by Margaret Thatcher.

4) I used to be able to recite the names of the actors in home and away in the order they apeared in the title card. I really miss Norman Coburn.

5) I played Gaelic Football untill I was 16. I was actually a really good goalkeeper, until I let a ball bounce over my head into the net. Then I just got too busy with other stuff.

1. I don’t visit my parents on Christmas

2. At the moment I am having affairs with four men and I truely like each one of them

3. I have never regretted anything I have done

4. I am very anxious in daily life

5. I love to eat and I love sitting on the toilet for a looong time

1. I have been chronically sick since July 2005 but these days nobody I know knows about it, and I like it this way!

2. My best friend is on a pretty famous and long running British TV show every single day.

3. In 2007 I was picked as one of 15 people from 2000 applicants for the worst job I’ve ever done in my life.

4. That worst job led to my current job, the best job I’ve ever done in my life.

5. I have created several pieces of online content which have been in the top ten most viewed on one of the busiest sites in the world.

1. Frank Black sang Mr Grieves to me alone (ok, and a camera man) in a tent at Witness and then gave me his cans of Guinness to mind. Somebody drank them at a party 2 years later
2. My great-great -great grandmother was really rich and did the Grand Tour of Europe and was ostracised by her family when she ran away and married a poor labourer We’ve been poor ever since
3. I was a prefect, debater, youth MEP and Rotary Club award winner for Laois
4. Interviewed Garbage and didn’t do my research. I asked if their new album was less ‘produced’ than the others. Butch Vig said ‘You have a cute Irish accent’. Game over.
5. My brother-in-law got up stage at the Galway Bay Hotel and interrupted Mick Flavin and got his autograph for me. Proudest possesion

1. I once got Terry Pratchett a metaphysical beer. Next night I got him a real one.

2. A guy I was on a first date with once hit on another woman in front of me. So I hit on another woman as well. He struck out, I didn’t. Left the guy for her, and ended up loving her for years.

3. Was once threatened by a group of guys on my way home at night. One of them tore a piece off my top – a one of a kind top I really loved. I found myself growling, like a girl caricature, “Don’t ever dare to touch my clothes again”. I must have looked scary, the guys actually backed away and left.

4. When I was 5 my mom built me my own smurf home out of a discarded refrigerator box.

5. I used to do voice work for computer games and audio stories.

1) When I was born, doctors didn’t think I would be able to walk. My mother had to peddle my legs every four hours for the first 6 months. I now cycle everywhere and have never owned a car.

2) My mother didn’t complain about the peddling, she had had a partial hysterectomy and wasn’t supposed to be able to have kids.

3) I rolled a spliff for Eric Bibb. I had no idea who he was at the time but was very impressed by his Jive talk.

4) When going to the Byron Bay Blues festival – where I finally saw Eric Bibb play – I shared a cab with Luka Bloom, again clueless as to who he was. He was mildly impressed that I knew his niece.

5) One of my best friends was a drummer in a band that supported Primal Scream months before they made it. He constantly exaggerates the attendance by at least third. I know because I was there.

. I did a rock and roll dance nightly with gabriel byrne in a
pantomime.He often trod on my toes…

2. I saw a “worse for wear” omar sharif at a roulette table in cairo.

3. I once met a guy in a nightclub in tokyo then bumped into him again at the sporting club in paris

4. I was the only one in ireland to achieve an A in honours italian in the leaving cert in my year

5. I once had dinner with mr ertegun head of atlantic records

I once spent Christmas with Andrew Ridgley, and YES we did force him to listen to Last Christmas.

I ran the Dublin City Marathon when I was 11

My grandfather got caught by the RUC trying to smuggle an IRA prisoner dressed as a woman across the Border in 1938

I was shouted at by Harold Pinter [it’s long a story]

I’m convinced I didn’t take part in the conception of my second child

1. I once went drinking for a night in Belfast with John C. McGinley a.k.a. Dr Cox of ‘Scrubs’ fame.
2. My mothers’ cousin won 2 olympic gold medals in hammer-throwing.
3. My mother had to call the Gardai 2 days in succession to find me as I had wandered away from home aged 3.
4. I once bought Cannabis in a cafe in Holland whilst on business and claimed it back on expenses
5. The first 9 times I went to Landsdowne road to support Ireland they never won a game (6 losses and 3 draws)

When I was 10 I cheated on a Sunday World colouring in competition so I could win a special edition Cadbury Swatch Watch. I pretended I was 8 on the entry form and hid this from my mother. I won. Loved that watch. Never felt guilty about it.

My dad doctored his birth certificate so he could get a job with Waterford Crystal. Minimum age was 16, he was 14. He worked as a master cutter there for 16 years. He is still nervous if he has to produce his original birth cert. Apple seldom falls far from the tree.

I’ve delivered 5 litters of beautiful cocker spaniels – all before I reached the age of 12. Once I woke up to find my dog had given birth in bed beside me, not sure who was the more stressed. That dog slept in her own bed every night after that shocker. I would be horrified now if I had to assist now with puppy birthing!

I have a deep seated hatred of groups of builders following an unfortunate incident involving wolf whistles, me tripping up and making a soft landing in a giant puddle, lunch going flying, clothes destroyed, hair dripping, cut chin, knees torn out of tights. Oh how they laughed and laughed. Smirks are on the other sides of their faces now that the opportunities for hanging around in groups has dried up!!

On the first day of my current job I was slightly over zealous in keeping calls away from the boss. A rather snippy and borderline arrogant man was insisting on speaking to the editor who was somewhat busy. I took the mans name and asked for his mobile number so somebody could call him back. In a tone approaching rage he asked DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM. I politely informed him that he had already given me his name and all i needed now was a mobile number. That mans name was Vincent Browne…. it did sound vaguely familiar to me…… Oops.

1. My uncle was buried at sea
2. A cousin married one of the E Street Band
3. Phil Lynnott once “bummed a fag” off me…
4. Billy Connolly once bought me a pint
5. A relative’s name appears on the “Traitor’s Arch” in Dublin

1. I sang for the President in the National Concert Hall in 1990. I can’t sing.

2. I have run a marathon even though I never thought I could ever run a mile.

3. JJ O’Toole’s handwriting is that of my paternal grandfather. He won a writing competition years ago. (So I was told!)

4. I got brought home by a garbage collection van after getting lost in the wee hours of the morning in New York City.

5. I once served Mike Scott from the Waterboys in a restaurant in Galway. The restaurant didn’t serve chips so I had to go to a nearby chipper and get them for him. He was one of the rudest men I ever met.

I once went drinking with Robert Fisk. In another drink-related tale Tommy Tiernan pushed me in a bar once – then laughed. I still hold a grudge about it.

I used to be a personal assistant for a guy who co-wrote the original James Bond screenplay with Ian Fleming.

I flew on September 11th AFTER the twin towers were attacked.

The reason I’m from Donegal is because my great grandfather kept having his bread van raided by the Black & Tans so he packed up his bakery and moved it to Donegal Town (mind you I have never verified this information so it could be complete fabrication on my Granda’s behalf.)

I used to have a Ganglion Cyst (a wee bubble in my wrist). I let the doctor burst it because he said it’d grow back but it never did : (

@59: That made me laugh out loud…Salute (no accents I’m afraid..well I’m not actually afraid but you get my drift) Think the Pope’s hit the jackpot with this one…

1. I was on the Gay Byrne show in 1991 reading an essay “My Europe in the year 2000″
2. I smoked a cigarette with Christy Dignam from Aslan (not the same cigarette)
3. I once met a guy called Michel Itchyanus.
4. I told Michael D. Higgins he looked like an aged Oompa Loompa.
5. I know a guy called Mike Hunt

1. I saw The Stones when Brian Jones was still alive.
2. I saw The Who when Keith Moon was still alive.
3. I saw Elvis when Elvis was still alive – and before he got fat. It was 22 March 1974 in Tulsa, Oklahoma – a long story!
4. I saw Frank Sinatra when Frank Sinatra was still alive, in the Point as it was then, sometime in the 1990s.
5. When the Beatles were still alive I could have gone to see them in Dublin but didn’t. Damn!

And there’s more…this comes under the Village Idiot category…

1. A couple I know came to London to get married. They went out to buy the wedding dress and ended up in a pub afterwards. They forgot where their hotel was and she ended up wearing Doc Marten’s with her wedding dress. I bet she looked really cool.

2. When the Sam Maguire Cup was brought to the local village after the county won the All Ireland one of the local lads inscribed his name on it! The mammy had to pay for it to be removed. He sent to America!

3. The brother of the amateur engraver above was allowed out (they were kept on a tight rein by the mammy) to buy a pair of shoes to go to a wedding. He wasn’t seen again for a week!

4. After a detour via the local hostelry to mark the end of Lent, one of the the villagers went to collect some holy water from the Chapel. Unfortunately the water level had dropped, he overreached and became wedged in the barrel. He remained there until someone found him when he was taken immediately to hospital!

5. My Alma Mater was known colloquially as St Fanny’s…the local wags thought it hilarious to shout ‘Up St Fanny’s’ as they walked past the dorms..

@63 do I detect a pattern there…?

1. My grand-mothers father was a general in the IRA. My grand-fathers father served with the RIC. Needless to say there was tension about their wedding!!

2. I once got a spin in Conor Haugheys helicopter.

3. I got to walk in the St. Patrick’s Day Parade in New York in 2008.

4. My girlfriends late grand-father was John Wayne’s stunt double in The Quiet Man.

5. I broke my leg four years ago and it was caught on camera… It’s now on YouTube.

1. My best friend’s husband made a pass at me

2. Said best friend’s sister’s boyfriend made a pass at me

3. Said boyfriend’s father made a pass at me

4. My sisters partner made a pass at me

5.My uncle made sexual advances towards me

I did nothing to encourage any of this behaviour, I was happily in love. Don’t men have any boundaries?

1. I once stood in a queue behind Steve Collins and was (very wrongly) convinced I could take him.
2. When I was 12 I met Ronnie Whelan in the airport in Liverpool. I asked him for his autograph and then, because Liverpool hadn’t won the league in 2 years, and I was a BIG fan, I asked him why they were crap. He looked shocked.
3. I once told my airline that my Dad had a heart attack so they would give me a free flight.
4. I have small barely visible hairs on my nose. My Dad said he did too until one day they fell out.
5. I am so bad at multi tasking that when I am talking about something important while driving, I slow down until the car has come to a complete halt due to my concentration.

1.I found a shot gun in the bushes beside my house when I was 10 years of age and scared the life out of my parents.
2.I sang in the National Concert Hall.
3.I have taken up 15 hobbies and dropped 15 hobbies.
4.When I was 22, I went shopping with my mum one Saturday and came home with a house.
5.I was proposed to in the back of a taxi.

1. My uncle was in a band with FortyCoats
2. My parents were the first couple in Ireland to get their WSET Diploma together
3. As a child, aged 8 or so, I used to shoplift Easy Singles and Halls sweets from the supermarket
4. I’m so terrified of sharks that sometimes I even have moments of panic in the swimming pool
5. I was so shy as a teenager that people in my first post-school job thought I was deaf and mute.

1. My uncle is in the Labour Party, Proinsias de Rossa

2. My Grandmam’s Grandad died in D day France.

3. My Girlfriend’s Grandmam’s dad fought alongside Nazi Germany.

4. I once saved someone from drowning, I think it canceled out the fact that I push him in.

5. I failed my driving test because an old lady was walking pasted my parked car slowly, I revved the car, she probably S@%t her pats.

1. My Grandad invented the machine that makes sliotars for O’Neills.

2. My Mam lived in the same building as Des Bishop and used to make him cake.

3. I was on the same plane as Shane McGowan and his missus coming home from London.

4. My Aunt lives beside Grace Jones in London.

5. I played in Croke Park with my primary school in the Camogaí finals when I was 11.

1. My dad somehow got locked in and had to spent a night in the crypts below Michael Collins’ monument in Glasnevin Cemetery.

2. I met Tim Robbins and told him I hope he never meets his heroes. He wasn’t impressed. But he was a c**t.

3. I accidentally set a barn on fire when I was 7, but my cousin got the blame. Sorry Matt!

4. I once had Twink’s phone number. Never left a message, but did play her (hilarious) voicemail message to friends many, many times.

5. I usually say I lost my virginity at 18, because I usually forget that it was actually when I was 15.

1. My mother took thalidomide in 1962 after it was banned elsewhere but could still be bought over the counter in Ireland. She had a traumatic pregnancy as she anxiously awaited my birth(no scans then) but I was born perfectly healthy on St. Patrick’s Day 1963

2. I was knocked down by Bishop Eamonn Casey when I was 7. I was very embarrassed as I had wet myself on impact and had to sit on post lady’s lap while they brought me to local doctor. She had an American accent – it was probably Annie Murphy. The Bishop sped ff to catch his plane at Shannon and my mom had to hire a local taxi man called Bumper to bring me to hospital. My little brother was already in the hospital. My Dad called later that evening to discover he now had 2 kids in hospital.

3. I was caught for speeding once – in a shopping trolley. I was let go – after I gave a false name – as I was the screaming passenger but the driver(trolley pusher) was taken to the garda station!

4. At the Spencer Tunick event, I looked behind me to see my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend, ah it would have been bad enough meeting them in a pub with clothes on.

5.I found out yesterday my mothers aunt was the mother of a prime minister of Australia – (I’m not sure if this one is true…)

1. Once dated Fred Astaire’s grandson.

2. Went out for a while with the brother of Persis Khambatta, one of the stars of ‘Star Trek: The Motion Picture’.

3. Once had a close encounter with Billy Connolly. Rushed out of a conference room he was passing in Jury’s and buried my face smack bang in the middle of his chest, knocking hi off balance. He was a good sport about it.

4. David McWilliams has been flirting outrageously with me about ding an interview. FIVE TIMES he has agreed a date for it only to cancel at the last second. I like this game. ‘S fun.

5. One of the architechts of the famous Biba store in London asked me to marry him within 3 hours of meeting him. He was quite serious – reckoned the marriage stood as good a chance as any. Rang several times during the following weeks to press his suit.

@62 I also know a guy called Mike Hunt.

1) My great grandfather was the captain of a ship that went down off the US coast in 1928. 112 people died.

2) My Dad was a Connaught boxing champion and a priest – not at the same time.

3) I saw Ken Doherty outside Old Trafford and Stephen Roche on the Champs Elysees and screamed (their names!!) at them. They were both scared.

4) My mum has had a book published.

5) My aunt once took pitty on a young aspiring Jamaican musician on a flight from Heathrow to Dublin and made a real effort to entertain him. It was Bob Marley.

1 i was nearly murdered by a methed up red indian in utah because he believed the ira sent me after he did a bunk with their money. ↲
2. My grand-uncle rode in front of michael collins coffin and was the last surviving officer from the gpo.↲
3. I sang in a battle of the bands in the olympia.↲
4. I read ‘ the dogs of war’ when i was 6↲

5. I climbed onto the roof of notre dame cathedral at 3 am july 4th 1990 and had to rescue my drunk yank mate who was swaying in 60 mph winds. What a view quasi had!

1. My sister is in medical books as the first female to contract an eye disease previously only ever seen in males (she nearly went blind, but she’s fine now).

2. I have had, at one point in time, though the job I did, complete access to the personal computers of Russell Crowe, Mick Jagger, Shania Twain, Angelina Jolie, Penelope Cruz, Jack Black, Kevin Costner, Tom Cruise, Nicole Kidman and Robert de Niro.

3. I was involved in a high-speed chase on the A40 in London where a guy driving a van was trying to kill a friend of mine. He pulled up along the passenger side where I was sitting and smashed the window with a baseball bat, at around 100mph. Nobody was hurt.

3. I was adopted and have never attempted to make any contact with my natural parents.

4. I once told a member of the Saudi royal family to f**k off.

5. I suffered panic attacks every day for about 5 years in my 20’s. It nearly destroyed my life. I’m fine now.

1. I once travelled in the same railway carriage
Lord Longford. He had a very grubby plaster on
his bald pate. By the time we reached Charing the carriage looked like it had been burgled!

2. Lord Longford’s brother Paddy Pakenham was
a member of the same Inn crowd. He was apt
to spontaneously burst into a rendition of
‘Tantum Ergo’ or recite the Creed backwards
and in Latin in the bar.

3.Princess Diana once dined in the said Inn. ‘We’
anxiously waited to see if she ate anything and
if so if immediately she ran out to be sick !

4.I once attended the screening of a C4 preview
of a documentary about Brendan Behan. The
director was forced to call a break when ‘the
compliments began to fly’ about the material.
Seamus Behan turned to me and said ‘that
fella’s dead this 20 odd years and he’s still
able to start a row’!

5. ‘Harry Percy’ was one of my contemporaries
on my Bar Finals course. He once threatened
the Chef in no uncertain terms after a dinner in
Grays Inn.