Present Tense »

  • Present Tense blog: RIP

    May 27, 2008 @ 1:01 pm | by Shane Hegarty

    So, we come to the end. I’ve been writing this blog since April of last year, the original idea being to post my weekly column outside of the paywall, and to throw up a few bits and pieces every now and then. The “every now and then” became pretty much daily. Much of this was done outside my normal working hours – mornings, evenings, weekends – but it’s come to the stage where the demands of my day job, a book I’m working on and the fact that my working day has stretched too long means that something has to give. So, it’s bye-bye blog.

    Another element involved the quality of the blog. It reached a certain level, but it could be much better. But to make it much better, I’d have to give it a lot more time that I just do not have. I wouldn’t be happy to let the blog drift on at this level.

    It’s been a fascinating experiment, and one I’ve thoroughly enjoyed. It’s given me one very proud moment that sits on my mantelpiece at home. There have been a lot of regular readers, commenters, and passers-by, and I’d like to thank all of you for your contributions. Without them, the blog would have withered and died long ago.

    I’ve learned a few things along the way. So here’s a few things I’ve picked up along the way:

    - Blogging isn’t easy. It takes time. It takes effort. It means trying to be distinctive and interesting. It means trying to reach a standard that justifies your continued existence. It can be exhausting.

    - But it can be fun. There is a camaraderie among bloggers, and their readers, that is really heartening. Let’s be honest: sometimes it leads to a bit too much back-slapping, and their needs to be a bit more self-examination rather than navel-gazing by the general “blogging community”. But there bloggers are continually driving traffic to each other, pushing each other on, striving for increased quality. And they put on a great awards party too, which helps.

    - Blogs will never be central to an online newspaper, but they will be an important component of any site. Jim and Conor have shown just how much cross-fertilisation there can be between the main paper and a blog, although I think that blogs are generally better if they’re focussed. This one was a bit loose, although – if done sparingly – there can be an attraction in the pick and mix approach too.

    - This blog has given me a communication with readers that I would never otherwise have had. An e-mail address at the bottom of a column opens a dialogue of sorts with readers, but nothing compared to this. Some journalists wouldn’t like it (know that, in fact), but others would thrive of it.

    - The demands of doing the blog shouldn’t be an excuse for sloppiness. Biggest regret was that stupid post in which I buried The Chancer when it was very much alive and kicking. Should have checked it before I posted. The pressures of keeping a blog fresh doesn’t excuse anyone from that.

    - The biggest reaction to any post? That following the recent one on the death of the motorcycle racer Martin Finnegan. There have so far been over 1,700 views of the YouTube footage I posted. Blogs can give newspapers a sense of just how much interest there is a subject – and unearth surprises here and there. You can’t stand over every reader and assess what they’re reading, and market research can be imprecise, but click-throughs, page views and visitor numbers should be vital tools for any media organisation.

    - Actually, as a general rule, journalist bloggers should have as much access to their site stats as any other blogger. It’s an important tool for them too.

    - I didn’t do it as often as I should have, but getting involved in the comment threads is important. This might seem obvious, but I don’t see it in a lot of newspaper blogs.

    - When you become a blogger, building traffic involves posting as regularly as possible. It means having to continually think about what you want to throw up there, and how many times a day, while also dealing with the demands of the day job. The problem is that a blog can be a distraction from the day job; and the day job a distraction from the blog.

    - If I didn’t post my column on a Saturday morning, my chances of getting a response to it diminished greatly. I am guessing that people read it in print and went straight to the computer to comment. If it wasn’t there, they didn’t go back. The blog was originally a way of getting the column online and letting people comment, but it turned out to be the least commented-upon part of the blog. It must have had a lot to do with the fact that people don’t really want to read 800 words in a blog format. That’s best kept for print.

    This is likely to be a lengthy break, rather than a permanent retreat, from the web. Obviously, given the way the media is going I won’t have much choice in that anyway. The column will continue in the Weekend Review on Saturdays and some day, I’ll get back to blogging. But, for now, I’m just looking forward to reading everyone else’s.

  • Hey, ape man!

    May 26, 2008 @ 11:59 am | by Shane Hegarty

    creationism.jpgAs spotted by Niall on James McInerney’s blog, here’s a Creationism event in Lucan

    Be amazed by the “Colourful PowerPoint Illustrations”!

    Marvel at the madness of the “Ape Man”!

    Be baffled by the “Frog that turned into a Prince (Man)”!

    Completely miss the irony of religious types accusing evolution of being a “fairytale”!

  • Where I’ll be tonight. And Sunday night.

    May 23, 2008 @ 9:36 am | by Shane Hegarty

    bruce.jpg

    UPDATE: Thanks to Green Ink for capturing this great moment from last night’s show. Which I wasn’t at. So Bruce had better repeat himself tonight. I don’t care what the crowd thinks.

  • Next: John Bowman dresses as a Red Indian and shoots arrows at Lisbon graph

    May 12, 2008 @ 1:23 pm | by Shane Hegarty
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  • Jesus: some spare time on his hands

    May 2, 2008 @ 1:47 pm | by Shane Hegarty

    cider-jesus.jpg

    Saw this in Metro this morning, and then Nat reminded me of it earlier, so following Padre Pio’s appearance on this blog last week (he’s definitely had some work, don’t you think?) here’s the picture of “Jesus on a cider bottle”.

    Unfortunately, it was thrown in the bin by a now hell-bound barmaid, but not before a picture was taken. The Daily Mail’s report features an interview with the man who found it:

    “When I saw it I got goose pimples,” 35-year-old Mr Cartwright said yesterday. “I have no doubt it is the face of Jesus. You can even see his beard and hair.”

    “I’m not sure what message Jesus was sending and maybe now we’ll never know.”

    Jesus, as ever, has been busy making personal appearances. FoxNews.com reports that a woman found him in an ultrasound. He’s also recently appeared in a piece of candy, a shower stain, a flapjack and on television.

  • Live blogging of Bertie Ahern’s speech to joint Houses of Congress

    April 30, 2008 @ 3:07 pm | by Shane Hegarty

    1605 Arrives into chamber. Immediately clear that his make-up budget this year will exceed total US military spending.

    1607 Nancy Pelosi introduces him as “His excellency, Bertie Ay-hern”.

    1610 Makes mention of Irish Scots as first emigrants to America. Good touch, that.

    1612 Gets his plea for the Undocumented in. It’s greeted with applause. By politicians who have opposed it.

    1615 Still talking about how much of an influence the Irish have had on America. “In all of America there is Irish-America”. Describing 9/11 as among the “most terrible events in world history”, he talks about Fr Michael Judge, who died that day. He’s pressing all the buttons here, mentioning of the Statue of Liberty, the American Dream, 9/11, New York’s police and fire departments.

    1619 Finally gets a Kennedy mention in. Also mentions Reagan as a famous Irish-American.

    1623 There’s a shot of the crowd turning their page at the same time. Proof that he’s not making this up as he goes along.

    1626 America has shown the way in the conflict in Darfur and Africa as a whole, he says. I’m guessing there might be some who could pick holes in that assessment. It’s followed by some bland references to how Israelis and Palestinians should be helped to get along.

    1628 “I am so proud to be the first Irish leader” to inform them that “Ireland is at peace”. Big standing ovation. Mention of Sen George Mitchell. Another standing ovation.

    1632 Charming them with his trademark mispronunciations, eg “Sarkificing”.

    1633 “There is, of course, no ending to history.” Clear dig at Francis Fukuyama there.

    1634 He talks about the greatness of representative democracy. In a room full of people under the thumb of lobbyists.

    1639 Wraps up by talking about peace, and the Battle of the Boyne, he says “The field of slaughter is now a meeting place of mutual understanding.” Then talks about his resignation, and his “worthy successor”. The morning after he will stand silently at the graves of the patriot dead, do his last duty and recall the words of the 1916 Proclamation. Quotes from it, saying these are the values on which Ireland stands. “In history, politics and in life there are no ends only new beginnings. So let us begin. Go raibh mile maith agaibh and thank you for the opportunity.”

    1640 Hurries back to mic and yells “Make art!”

  • Bertie “Goldfinger” Ahern

    April 28, 2008 @ 1:14 pm | by Shane Hegarty

    bertie-autograph.jpgBertie Ahern’s autograph is for sale on eBay, but may offer a damning indictment of the man’s lavish lifestyle:

    The signature is clear and has been signed in GOLD ink

    What a display of ostentatious wealth. Gold ink! Probably housed within a diamond encrusted pen.

    By the way, I don’t buy autographs on eBay – it’s a world of fakes. Which is not at all to suggest that this is fake. It’s merely an observation about eBay. Anyway, should you wish to purchase this shocking insight into Ahern’s money-soaked ways, it’s still on offer at £4.99. No bids yet. But this is, it says, “the ultimate gift for any collector”. Some people might try and tell you that Shakespeare’s would top it, but they’d be lying fools.

  • What I learned from the government’s “Preparing for Major Emergencies” booklet

    April 17, 2008 @ 8:25 am | by Shane Hegarty

    1) The information finally landed through my door this morning, six years after the iodine tablets didn’t. So that’s a good start.

    2) It’s called Preparing for Major Emergencies: An Introduction. Is there a more in-depth course I should be taking? ‘Ebola 101′ or ‘Everything You Wanted To Know About Shoe Bombers But Are Afraid to Ask’.

    3) If an emergency happens, and I pick it up upside down and get the Irish-language version, then I’m in big trouble.

    4) If I study it in Irish, though, do I automatically get a 10 per cent bonus chance of survival?

    5) In most emergencies, you are advised to stay in and listen and watch broadcasts. This is going to be bad for us, but great for RTÉ’s ratings.

    6) Nobody should “attempt heroic rescues in hazardous circumstances”. This is code for: “it’s every man for himself!”.

    7) There is no mention of zombies.

    8 ) I’m taking the piss out of it now, but when my house is struck by a radioactive plane full of Spanish Flu victims, I’ll wish I’d taken it more seriously.

    9) The gist of the booklet: in case of emergency, just seek out Willie O’Dea. He knows what to do.

  • Transport 21: Progress in (Slow) Motion

    April 8, 2008 @ 12:47 pm | by Shane Hegarty

    There’s a new ad telling us how good Transport 21 will be when it’s all done. And it might be right, but the phrase “Progress in Motion” is not nearly as catchy as Noel Dempsey’s assertion that the timetable for completion was always “indicative” rather than exact. It’s less exciting than him saying there has been some “slippage” on an unrealistic original timetable. Or the revelation a third of the delivery dates have been postponed.

    But it’s the future. And it’s grafitti free.

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  • “The ceiling needs more stalactites…”

    April 3, 2008 @ 4:48 pm | by Shane Hegarty

    The Everton footballer Phil Neville has put his house on the market. Perhaps no-one will appreciate its unique sense of style. But they can certainly get a laugh out of it.

    phil-neville-house.jpg

    Take a tour here. Warning: this may hurt your eyes.

  • The Chancer: Not RIP

    March 31, 2008 @ 12:04 pm | by Shane Hegarty

    The Chancer comes back from its walk to clarify matters a bit.

    I am happy to accept that I may have jumped the gun on that. If I was a doctor the morgues would be stuffed with people wondering why they’ve been sent there.

  • Reading

    March 28, 2008 @ 2:47 pm | by Shane Hegarty

    seuss-cat-hat.gifThe Cat in the Hat by Dr Seuss. Every night to my two year old.

    Next up: Green Eggs and Ham.

  • Thank you

    March 2, 2008 @ 12:28 pm | by Shane Hegarty

    I want to thank all of you who have read, commented, contributed, and linked to this blog since it started last year. I’m really flattered to have taken home a prize at the Irish Blog Awards on Saturday night, but it wouldn’t have happened without your help. Cheers.

  • Gone fishin’

    February 15, 2008 @ 8:13 pm | by Shane Hegarty

    I’m taking a week away from the computer screen, and will return on Monday 25th February. However, comments will be updated (thanks Conor).

    Have a nice week everyone.

  • Question of the day

    @ 8:41 am | by Shane Hegarty

    Senators will have to move to the Natural History Museum while reconstruction work takes place on Leinster House – is this because neither Fossett’s Circus or Jim Henson’s studio were available?

  • Opening paragraph of the day

    February 14, 2008 @ 10:07 am | by Shane Hegarty

    Under the most intriguing headline of the day, is this story:

    Elephant head-butt claim settled

    A man who claimed he had been head-butted by an elephant has settled a personal injury claim against a circus for an undisclosed amount of damages.

  • A statistic from Dublin

    February 12, 2008 @ 1:21 pm | by Shane Hegarty

    €10 million: the amount of unclaimed change held by Dublin Bus. It’s collected some €13.3 million since 2001, with “about a quarter” reclaimed each year. It’s putting a percentage of this into a grants scheme, but most of the fund is untouchable because the change tickets are valid indefinitely. The only way to reclaim the cash is by going to the O’Connell St head office. Nice system that. Very handy. How much tourist cash is sitting in that treasure chest?

  • Heath Ledger’s recent New York Times interview

    January 23, 2008 @ 10:17 am | by Shane Hegarty

    The actor’s recent interview with the New York Times has been mentioned already in the reports of his death. You can read it here, with this passage taking on particular poignancy:

    “Last week I probably slept an average of two hours a night,” he said. “I couldn’t stop thinking. My body was exhausted, and my mind was still going.” One night he took an Ambien [a sleeping pill], which failed to work. He took a second one and fell into a stupor, only to wake up an hour later, his mind still racing.

    Even as he spoke, Mr. Ledger was hard-pressed to keep still. He got up and poured more coffee. He stepped outside into the courtyard and smoked a cigarette. He shook his hair out from under its hood, put a rubber band around it, took out the rubber band, put on a hat, took off the hat, put the hood back up. He went outside and had another cigarette. Polite and charming, he nonetheless gave off the sense that the last thing he wanted to do was delve deep into himself for public consumption. “It can be a little distressing to have to overintellectualize yourself,” is how he put it, a little apologetically.

  • Surviving the coming recession: Lesson one.

    January 22, 2008 @ 2:47 pm | by Shane Hegarty

    As the world’s economy goes into meltdown, we’re aware that there is a generation out there which has never known recession. But don’t worry, young folks, because if it all comes crumbling down, we can always do another Self Aid.

    I for one pledge 200 jobs. My office needs a thorough clean up.

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  • Hillary: WTF?

    January 9, 2008 @ 3:25 pm | by Shane Hegarty

    With the polls and media and everybody got it so horribly wrong on the New Hampshire primary, there are some great theories going around as to what the hell just happened. There’s a particularly good piece on Slate.com which mentions the Bradley effect (white people will tell pollsters that they’ll vote for a black candidate, but won’t do it in the privacy of a booth), the Reverse Bradley (in which Iowa’s caucus meant people could be seen voting one way or another) and the fact that a lot voters only pay attention very late in the race, so that what they told the pollsters earlier doesn’t really count.

    The whole things opens up the question of polls: how often they go wrong (the same happened in the 2004 presidential election; the Irish general election polls were largely unreliable) and what value they bring early in a campaign if people change or make up their minds when they engage with the issues in the last 24 hours.

    Finally, for an idea of how Clinton’s staff were spooked yesterday, and the commentators bullish, watch Sydney Blumenthal (Clinton strategist) in full damage limitation mode while Frank Luntz laughs it up on last night’s Prime Time.

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