Present Tense

  • Self-congratulatory? Us?

    January 31, 2008 @ 2:25 pm | by Shane

    Bloggers have been basking in the glory of the Irish Blog Awards long-lists over the last couple of days. Thanks to those who nominated me in some of those categories, it is very much appreciated (although I am somewhat upset at being overlooked in the Best Crafts Blog category).

    However, the thread from a couple of days ago (on the nastiness that might show up in comments) has now thrown up a couple of dissenting voices.

    First a comment from Roisin:

    Am newish to visiting blogs and it seems like some of them an outlet for people who are being bullied and who finally have a place to express their anger - and their targets of the anger are mostly a combination women/fat/old. Even the most reasonable comment will get you blasted by some of the most respected bloggers in the most foul language. Then they all get together and nominate each other for blog awards - sometimes I wonder if the mainstream media have any idea at all of what some of these blogs are like. Worse than the hateful comments are the bloggers who manipulate the replies, leaving out those with whom they don’t agree.

    Then one from AE Mouse:

    Interesting point, Roisin.

    The bloggers, while they like to think of themselves as cutting edge and anarchic, seem to have their own cosy community thing going on.

    When did you ever hear one Irish blogger criticise another?

    It doesn’t really happen, or not so I have noticed.

    What’s with the blogger love-in? Would one blogger ever dare to diss another interweb colleague? Is this reticence peculiar to the Irish blogworld?

    Anybody know?

  • ‘Glass half full’ press release of the day

    @ 10:48 am | by Shane

    This landed this morning:

    PRESS RELEASE

    FOUR – moving forward
    At the end of 2007, due to circumstances beyond our control FOUR lost its premises at 11 Burgh Quay, Dublin 2. Although this came as unfortunate news, FOUR none-the-less remains committed to continue with its programme for 2008.

    In the absence of a fixed gallery this presents the opportunity to form a discourse to contest the idea of an exhibition space. In 2008 we endeavour to implement the FOUR programme in the form of a publication, together with a series of off-site events and exhibitions, scheduled to take place throughout the year.

    That’s the spirit. And if you want to know their current whereabouts, Four’s website is here.

  • A Chianti would go well with those drug-filled balloons

    January 30, 2008 @ 5:06 pm | by Shane

    Hot Press has a drugs issue out this week, so it’s made an ad for it. With balloon swallowing, Eastern European accents, graphic toilet scenes and coke being snorted off cleavage, it may in fact be a clever trailer for a Roaring Twenties spin-off.

    Watch it here. (Thanks Ivor for the tip)

    WARNING: Make sure you’re not eating while you watch it. You may laugh so hard that food will come out your nose.

  • Perhaps a custard pie fight would settle this

    @ 3:05 pm | by Shane

    The chefs Dylan McGrath, Kevin Thornton and Kevin Dundon were on Tubridy Tonight on Saturday, and its now online here.

    Go straight to six minutes in, when Tubridy starts talking to McGrath - who is not a man troubled by self-doubt. A clip of the chef yelling abuse at one of his staff triggers a pretty interesting debate about whether it’s acceptable or not to treat someone as less than human (compassion, McGrath admits, is not his strong point).

    But the real fun comes from newly Michelin-starred McGrath’s dismissal of Dundon, with a dig at his role on The Afternoon Show. Dundon reacts with dignity, but inside he must have been boiling like a lobster’s bath.

    Also listen out for the shrieking giggler in the audience, who is somewhat of an irritant at first but comes into her own when she shouts “bastard”.

  • The results from the Ballybunion caucus…

    @ 11:22 am | by Shane

    The Americans here are obsessed about who we’re not paying attention to over there.

    The Irish are obsessed with which of the candidates is a ninth cousin of someone over here.

    And now here’s Tom McEnery (”a former mayor of San Jose … he spends part of each year in Ballybunion”) writing in the San Jose Mercury News about the bellweather town of Ballybunion.

    When you want a real idea of who will be the next president, do not turn to the pundits and the talking heads of the chattering, bodiless, odoriferous order that pontificates for each and every network and cable channel - look to Ballybunion. Here in a place known for golf, seaweed baths and prognostications, you will find the truth. Here the denizens decry the hoopla of polls and likely voter profiles, and simply prefer the age-old method of trial by rhetoric, argument and ancestry - oh, yes, ancestry. Even now in Costello’s Public House, the verdict has been rendered, and it’s for the kinsman. As they say, “Surely, he’s Irish, near Killarney, ye know, and ye’ve only to look at Barack’s face and the way he speaks: Homeric!” This is a vetting and examination that each American president and aspiring president has to endure. The verdict is in… (more…)

  • “It’s like dropping a bomb on the Louvre”

    January 29, 2008 @ 2:56 pm | by Shane

    There was a good piece by Mark Abley in yesterday’s Guardian about the death of Marie Smith Jones, the last native speaker of the Alaskan language, Eyak.

    Most residents of Anchorage, the Alaskan city where she spent her final decades, had never heard of her. Even after she addressed a UN conference on indigenous rights, she managed to maintain her privacy. Yet among the advocates for minority languages, Jones was famous. A few of them knew her by a different name: Udach’ Kuqax’a'a’ch’, a name that belonged to the Eyak language and means “a sound that calls people from far away”.

    He used a quote that emphasised just how precious each language is:

    Linguist Ken Hale put it more bluntly: “Languages embody the intellectual wealth of the people that speak them. Losing any one of them is like dropping a bomb on the Louvre.”

    For anyone with an interest in language - and why and how quickly they disappear - I’d recommend Abley’s Spoken Here: Travels Among Threatened Languages. (I also mentioned it in a column a while back.)

  • Vote for what’s-his-name!

    @ 11:06 am | by Shane

    This video from Ron Paul Supporters in Ireland popped up on YouTube this week. If you don’t know who Ron Paul is, this attempts to point out why. It complains that the US presidential candidate has got little coverage here; that you would assume there were only two candidates in the race.

    It has a point, although this video isn’t interested in examining the context. This isn’t the Irish election, in which the media follows rules about bias. Instead, the Irish media concentrates on the stories that interest them and - they presume - the public. Still, even in its blunt way, it raises an interesting issue.

  • What would Jesus do (take a scrum or line-out?)

    @ 9:02 am | by Shane

    rugby.jpgAt least one school had a Mass ahead of its Leinster Senior Cup rugby match this week.

    It’s interesting to hear that God takes time out from his busy schedule - deciding who lives and dies, triggering natural disasters, fiddling the Republican nomination race - to pay an interest in schools rugby. Maybe he went to a school for fee-paying dieties. Maybe he has a couple of quid on the outcome. Whatever, other schools will now need to up the ante in order to curry his favour. Ritual sacrifice before the match, perhaps.

    Seriously, I’m amazed that anyone would think that any God would bother influencing a minor sporting event on this sprawling planet. With the Olympics coming up, he’ll be far too busy trying to decide which God-bothering sprinter should win the 100m.

  • Blogs, comments and the nastiness lurking out there

    January 28, 2008 @ 1:09 pm | by Shane

    Among the comments to come out of the recent discussion about blogs was this from Una:

    Most of the time, I don’t think the bloggers are the ones being ‘ugly’, it’s generally those who comment on blogs who act the maggot.

    It’s been enough of a problem for her that she has had to publicly lay down some ground rules. You would have thought it obvious that “Homophobic, sexist or racist comments will not be tolerated and will be deleted”, but it was clearly happening enough that it needed to be said.

    More recently, journalist and blogger Sarah Carey mentioned a letter she received, which went:

    “Dear Bitch, Why don’t you fuck off permanently to New York? You anti-Irish Bitch, Paddy”

    She laughed it off. However, in the seven years I’ve been writing for The Irish Times I’ve had mail that’s called me anti-Northern, blasphemous, idiotic and cruel on Michael Jackson, but I’ve never had anything that fixated on my gender.

    Nor would I expect it. But it would appear that being hetero and male shields a person from the nastier elements lurking out there. I’m curious to know if female bloggers do attract particular nastiness; how much the anonymity allowed by comments threads gives people licence to be homophobic, racist or sexist; and whether it’s rare - or depressingly common.

  • Saturday column: Recession - a beginner’s guide

    January 26, 2008 @ 11:25 am | by Shane

    During the week, a great many Irish people will have heard a lot of talk about something they had doubted really existed.

    They might have presumed it was a myth; a bogeyman; something parents use to scare their kids. But now there was something coming and, even if they couldn’t recognise it, they knew it was ominous. It was the sound of unsold villas and unsailed yachts; of restaurant shutters and bank managers’ frowns. This was the sound of an approaching recession. And they may have wondered: so what that they’re losing all this money on the stock market. Can’t they just get a bank loan?

    Anyone entering college this year - and plenty of those who have left - will have no memory of economic gloom. They have grown up in a country that got itself together just in time for their arrival into this world.

    The tales of the old Ireland are to Irish teenagers what stories of the second World War are to a generation of British kids. There goes the old man with his recession stories again. Yes, we know you didn’t have lattes in the 1980s. And that you only went on one foreign holiday a decade. And that you couldn’t have gone for a shopping weekend in New York for fear of screwing up your Morrison visa. You’ve told us about it a thousand times already. (more…)

  • Reading

    January 25, 2008 @ 2:56 pm | by Shane

    Before I see the film, I wanted to read Cormac McCarthy’s No Country For Old Men, and not only is it intensely filmic, but it could have been written with the Coen Brothers in mind: the peculiarity of the language; the local sheriff versus violent outsiders; the landscape as a character. The novel is taut and violent, and its refusal to bow to the reader’s expectation is vital, and I’m guessing that even if you’ve seen the movie it’s still worth picking up the book.

  • So you want to make a programme about wanting to be famous

    @ 11:19 am | by Shane

    Take a random selection of ideas, talking heads and inane quotes. Throw them up in the air and broadcast them in whatever order they land. Add a hint of John Waters to give it some extra body (this will counterbalance the weakness of the Amanda Brunker).

    Somehow stretch these ingredients into three 50-minute parts and throw them at a television screen.

    Warning: Do not add any Katy French, as this would only sour the programme and cause great discomfort among everyone concerned.

  • Opinion writers and blog writers

    January 24, 2008 @ 11:13 am | by Shane

    There can be a mistaken view that because a person is given space in a newspaper to air their opinion, then they automatically attain some authority. Appearing under the banner of a national newspaper doesn’t make anyone a better writer, nor does it make them more authoratitive. It does give them an important platform, of course. I don’t pretend that this blog would have the kind of traffic it does if it weren’t on Ireland.com. But authority still has to be earned.

    It’s why successful blogs deserve a great deal of credit. Most have had to earn that traffic and authority through their own hard work. They’ve had to do it in a crowded market, and without being able to hide behind good editors and sub-editors (I know this because I would long ago have sunk without them). It doesn’t mean that all blogs - even successful ones - are good, nor that there isn’t a debate to be had about their value, attitude, what attracts attention and what doesn’t. But newspaper opinion writers have an entire structure on which to lean, and despite that some are very bad indeed.

    Yes, blogs are unfiltered, but what value is a filtering system when it is aimed only at bringing in opinion writers who agree with the editorial line of a newspaper? Ultimately a blogger’s opinion is as legitimate as any opinion writer’s. It might be badly written. It might be poorly thought-out and woefully explained. It can be hysterical or nonsensical. But so can the opinion columns in our national newspapers.

  • Starstruck Paddies and the hunting of Will Ferrell

    January 23, 2008 @ 2:07 pm | by Shane

    will-ferrell.jpgWill Ferrell is in the country. Maybe he came to get away from it all. But he couldn’t. Because every time he so much as stopped for directions someone would ring Today FM with the latest on his location.

    It was like The Running Man, except he’s not running, and his head won’t explode despite the laser-beam stares of starstruck Paddies. (more…)

  • Heath Ledger’s recent New York Times interview

    @ 10:17 am | by Shane

    The actor’s recent interview with the New York Times has been mentioned already in the reports of his death. You can read it here, with this passage taking on particular poignancy:

    “Last week I probably slept an average of two hours a night,” he said. “I couldn’t stop thinking. My body was exhausted, and my mind was still going.” One night he took an Ambien [a sleeping pill], which failed to work. He took a second one and fell into a stupor, only to wake up an hour later, his mind still racing.

    Even as he spoke, Mr. Ledger was hard-pressed to keep still. He got up and poured more coffee. He stepped outside into the courtyard and smoked a cigarette. He shook his hair out from under its hood, put a rubber band around it, took out the rubber band, put on a hat, took off the hat, put the hood back up. He went outside and had another cigarette. Polite and charming, he nonetheless gave off the sense that the last thing he wanted to do was delve deep into himself for public consumption. “It can be a little distressing to have to overintellectualize yourself,” is how he put it, a little apologetically.

  • Ding ding: John Waters v a Blogger

    January 22, 2008 @ 5:23 pm | by Shane

    Frankly, I’m not sure how seriously we should be taking John Waters’ comments on blogs - he was quite clearly being mischevious the first time around - but he has repeated them a couple of times on radio and in print since. Also, despite the fact that it’s been a talking point online over the past week, I’m always reluctant to open up this blog to any wider discussion on a colleague.

    Well, it’s getting harder to avoid because tomorrow morning at 8.30am, on Newstalk’s Breakfast Show, he’ll face off against Fergal Crehan from Tuppenceworth, so hopefully it’ll give the debate a bit more depth.

    Although, given how hard it is to avoid using the language of confrontation when even discussing the discussion then it may be too pugilistic for anybody’s good.

  • Surviving the coming recession: Lesson one.

    @ 2:47 pm | by Shane

    As the world’s economy goes into meltdown, we’re aware that there is a generation out there which has never known recession. But don’t worry, young folks, because if it all comes crumbling down, we can always do another Self Aid.

    I for one pledge 200 jobs. My office needs a thorough clean up.

  • TV personality of the year candidates: not top secret any more

    @ 12:27 pm | by Shane

    This should knock the Oscar nominations off tomorrow’s front pages.

    The nominees in full (steel yourself):

    Stephen Nolan - BBC
    Michelle Doherty - Channel 6
    Kathy Hoffman - City Channel
    Kathryn Thomas - RTÉ
    Paul Dempsey – Setanta Sports
    Síle Ní Bhraonáin - TG4
    Lorraine Keane - TV3
    Julian Simmons – UTV

  • TV personality of the year candidates: top secret

    @ 11:02 am | by Shane

    An e-mail drops in to the inbox with the names of the eight nominees for the IFTA TV personality of the year awards. But it’s embargoed until 12.30pm today. The world’s economy is in meltdown. Property prices are crashing. Someone, somewhere is dusting off the plans for Self Aid II. But what will truly ruin everything is if someone, somewhere reveals the names of the nominees for the TV Personality of the Year!

    Thank God for embargoes.

    Anyway, you’ve an hour and half to beat the PR fascists by guessing the names of the eight nominees, representing RTE, TV3, TG4, Channel 6, Setanta, City Channel, BBC NI and UTV.

  • The tourist traps that time forgot

    January 21, 2008 @ 1:13 pm | by Shane

    glenroe-2_.jpg

    Spent Friday night in Wicklow, at the Brook Lodge hotel near Aughrim. It’s a fine spot to relax in, with a decent spa. The full body deep tissue massage was like sliding through a car wash made of kickboxers. This was a good thing.

    Its restaurant, The Strawberry Tree, is excellent (yoghurt and black pepper sorbet: sublime), even if it was a little too eager with the service (I can place the napkin on my own knee. Mastered that pretty early on in life.)

    Driving to Wicklow, I got a reminder of that particular aspect of Irish life: the fossilied tourist attraction. They are the “attractions” that weren’t a particularly good idea at the time, but which now look redundant without being quaint; desperate rather than enterprising. But no one has the guts to take the signs down. (more…)

  • The end: nigh again

    @ 10:42 am | by Shane

    Sunday Independent 23 September 2007:

    O’REILLY DISMISSES GLOOM AND DOOM AS ADVERTISING ON THE UP

    Gavin O’Reilly, Independent News & Media’s Chief Operating Officer, gave an upbeat presentation detailing the performance of the global media group at the half-year stage last Tuesday.

    O’Reilly dismissed Ireland’s doom and gloom merchants…

    Sunday Independent 20 January 2008:

    THE CRASH IS COMING - Brian and Bertie Go AWOL

  • Saturday column: Teenage kicks, so hard to delete

    @ 10:20 am | by Shane

    Most of us did dumb things in our teenage years. None of them, however, led to the deployment of 30 cops, including two dog squads, a critical incident response team and a police helicopter.

    None of them entertained the world’s press. None of them led to dedicated computer games, websites and YouTube fame. None of them inspired T-shirts.

    But the misadventures of a teen can now become a global phenomenon within hours. This week, the honour belongs to the Melbourne 16-year-old who, while his parents were on holiday, advertised his party on MySpace. Some 500 people turned up and triggered a near-riot of drunkenness, streaking, vandalism and, reportedly, semi-naked Twister. Accompanied by a public display of insolence bigger than Australia itself, the young man’s dedication to living life as if it were a 1980s high-school comedy has made him one of the most talked-about people in the western world. (more…)

  • Selection Box

    January 17, 2008 @ 9:19 pm | by Shane

    - If there can be a Math Rock then there can be Grammar Rock. Here’s Oxford Comma by Vampire Weekend.

    - Cloverfield is out in the States, and critics say it’s brilliant/rubbish.

    - Complaints about the UK press rose 31 per cent in 2007

    - McDonald’s drops plans to advertise on the front of school report cards

    - Are you just a brain floating in space?

    - RTÉ’s tradition for dodgy comedy goes back a long way. Here’s a 1970 Christmas Special, which packs two stunning punchlines into the first minute. Then skip forward to three minutes to see Dickie Rock’s comedy masterclass.

  • Gawking at the Scientologists

    @ 1:28 pm | by Shane

    The Tom Cruise video, is nothing too unusual. “Religious fruitcake makes mad pronouncements about the power of his beliefs” - apart from the particular context, it could have been anyone from the Pope to Paisley to plenty of people you meet each week. Although, you do get the feeling that each of those would call an ambulance if you had an accident. (more…)

  • The Irish: always yapping

    @ 9:05 am | by Shane

    A writer in the Charlotte Observer, Mary C Curtis, came to Ireland for the sessions and the spuds, and heard us talk about almost nothing but US politics. Keep an eye out for a cameo by the taxi driver who, most uncharacteristically, complains about immigrants taking jobs and seems to tell her that 10 per cent of our population is Polish.

    You’d think the Atlantic Ocean would be wide enough to separate an American from American politics. You would be wrong.

    On an Ireland adventure with my family, I ate hot porridge for breakfast, fresh fish for dinner and more potatoes than I care to recall.

    I also read about the Iowa and New Hampshire primaries and saw TV segments of the close contests in which no two European reporters pronounced Barack Obama’s name the same. (more…)

  • Because men’s catwalk pictures are always entertaining…

    January 16, 2008 @ 4:00 pm | by Shane

    Here’s what we’ll be wearing next season according to Milan Fashion Week.

    One big trend? Covering yourself in glue and jumping into a clothes recycling bank.

    milan-5.jpg (more…)

  • Last night’s telly

    @ 10:04 am | by Shane

    Another strong Arts Lives last night, with the profile of John Banville once again giving insight into the craft as well as the person. Banville was an excellent interviewee: bristling with ego yet self-aware and funny. And, importantly for an artist, he managed to remain just out of reach.

    The section in which he reacted to opening lines from his books was an inspired idea. “How pretentious. I can’t believe I wrote that.” It ended with a life-affirming note in which he said that he wasn’t afraid of death, but wanted to live forever on this “exquisite” world. And he said the word “exquisite” with such infectious sincerity that, as the credits rolled, you couldn’t help but agree that this was indeed a wonderful, exquisite world.

    Then I turned over to Katherine Lynch’s Working Girls just in time to catch the colonic irrigation joke. And the moment was ruined.

  • John Connolly on writing and being written about

    January 15, 2008 @ 7:11 pm | by Shane

    On his blog, John Connolly has posted about the difficulties of trying to write one book (The Lovers), while another (The Reapers) is about to return from the editors, and a third (The Unquiet) has just been published. Plus there’s a script, and various invites for anthologies. Not a bad predicament for a writer to be in, of course.

    Still, I managed to get almost 2000 words written today, and this column. The frustrating part is knowing that I may not get as much work done again on THE LOVERS for a couple of weeks at least, and I’m kind of enjoying the writing of it. I also know that a structured approach to its writing - a routine, by any other name - is essential if progress is to be made. Sometimes, ‘having written’ is better than ‘writing’, but writing, for all the times that it can be difficult (or, perhaps, because it is often difficult), is still immensely fulfilling.

    Unfortunately, the business of being a writer occasionally gets in the way.

    He has previously posted about being interviewed, and it touches on matters discussed here earlier (as well as the disappointment of knowing a journalist hasn’t read his book). (more…)

  • Lorcan, meet Corey

    @ 2:40 pm | by Shane

    Brock gets in touch to say, “Just when I began to despair for the youth of today, after watching Lorcan from Dundalk, I think I’ve found a new hero”.

    And here is that hero. An Australian kid whose party got so out of control, his parents face a fine of €20,000 when they get home from holiday. His name is Corey, and he has confidence. He also has “famous glasses”.

  • Journalism students: do not try this at home

    @ 12:00 pm | by Shane

    A couple of years ago, I interviewed the author Sebastian Faulks, only to discover the next day that my digital recording device had wiped the interview. Or, more likely, that I had wiped it. Either way, this was not good.

    I tried to think back to what he had said. Perhaps my memory would save me from ignomy. But as I rummaged through my brain, the only things I could really remember where that, during the interview, he had used some nouns, a selection of verbs and perhaps a compound adjective. And that his hair was very impressive. (more…)

  • Some questions raised by last night’s TV

    @ 9:22 am | by Shane

    frontpageimage.jpg

    1) Death Duties looked as if it might have been a sensitive, thoughtful portrait of Dr Marie Cassidy. Instead, it will be just another excuse for a true crime thrill-fest. Somebody, somewhere had great fun making “charred corpses” and “bullet-ridden brains” and “maggot-filled flesh”. But did the State Pathologist really think it was appropriate to lend her seal of approval to a programme that revelled in glimpses of gore and gratuitous reconstructions of killings?

    2) When Enda Kenny walked to the front steps of the Dáil to do his tough man act, did he really need half a parliamentary party to act as wingmen? And can he not carry his own umbrella?

    3) Could The Roaring Twenties have hidden its love for Simon Pegg a little bit more? Using the Dawn of the Dead’s The Gonk as a soundtrack (as also featured on the Shaun of the Dead soundtrack) was hardly subtle.

    4) Nightly News with Vincent Browne will need time to bed in - when it won’t feel the need to talk up “exclusives” - but a couple of things about last night: first, was it wise to get bogged down in a “you say, I say” argument with a FG senator which left the viewer none the wiser about who was right? And second, why the sofa? It’s hard to get a good head-to-head going when the opposing politicians look like a couple in marriage counseling.

  • The Vintners: looking out for you

    January 14, 2008 @ 10:42 am | by Shane

    The head of the Vintners Federation of Ireland, Paul Stevenson has been doing a bit of blue sky thinking on how to save rural pubs (he’s been throwing glasses in the air to see where they smash; putting his hand in the Tayto to see if they pick out a green one; and other such pub-related management-speak).

    What are his big ideas? Homework clubs and a fruit-based drink for the ladies. (more…)

  • Saturday column: Games stop

    January 12, 2008 @ 10:48 am | by Shane

    This column will be about computer games. Please don’t turn away.

    I mention that only because the subject appears to be regarded by newspapers as an effective reader repellent. Millions play computer games, but it seems that few want to read about them. It is a thriving, multi-billion-euro cultural behemoth, but there are more interesting thriving, multi-billion-euro cultural behemoths elsewhere.

    For the first time in about a decade, I’ve been playing computer games. I’ve been spending time on an Xbox 360, a machine that plays games, downloads movies and is so addictive that if it housed a microwave and a mini-fridge then you’d only have to get up whenever the sofa needed replacing.

    Largely, I’ve been playing Halo 3, the final instalment of the best-selling series in which the player takes the role of “a biologically-altered super-soldier who must defeat the Flood unleashed by the Covenant”. More accurately, the player must ignore the story and just shoot lots of things to survive and reach the next level. Which makes it, in a way, not that much more advanced than Donkey Kong. Except that its barrels actually look like barrels. (more…)

  • Your handy guide to Irish cultural etiquette

    January 11, 2008 @ 8:12 am | by Shane

    The site eDiplomat gives advice on whatever country diplomats have been posted to, including cultural etiquette. So, here’s what it says about Ireland. I’ve posted the whole thing, because it’s too good to edit. (Thanks to Fiona for pointing it out.)

    By way of an introduction, it says:

    The Irish are interested in people and place great value on the individual. They are naturally courteous, quick-witted and will go out of their way to welcome visitors to their country. Don’t rush the Irish. Although they work very hard, the Irish are dedicated to a less stressful lifestyle that allows time for friends and family, a visit to the pub, a cup of tea, or just a bit of a chat on the corner. Families are closely-knit and very important to the Irish.

    Translation: They’ll be late and desperate for a pint, but don’t insult their mothers when they are.

    “Meeting and Greeting”

    - Shake hands with everyone present — men, women and children — at a business or social gathering. Shake hands again when leaving.
    - A firm handshake with eye contact is expected.

    Shake hands with the kids? Only if you want to catch something.

    “Body Language”

    - The Irish are not very physically demonstrative and are not comfortable with public displays of affection.
    - The Irish are uncomfortable with loud, aggressive, and arrogant behavior.
    - A “Reverse V for victory” gesture is considered obscene.

    Translation: Our fathers showed us no affection, so don’t you start. (more…)

  • The party formerly known as PDs

    January 10, 2008 @ 12:27 pm | by Shane

    Galway-based Progressive Democrats Senator Ciarán Cannon is proposing that the party changes its name. “The current name is too unwieldy. There is, unfairly, a huge degree of negativity associated with the name.”

    He is, he admits, getting a “mixed” reaction to the idea. But I know that in the journalism game there is nothing worse than criticising a headline when you don’t have anything to replace it. So, in an effort to help Senator Cannon out, here are some suggestions that may grab the voters’ attentions:

    1) The Regressive Despots
    2) The Coalition of the Unwilling
    3) The Not-At-All Populist Party
    4) Pro Dem Inc
    5) The We-Never-Liked-Michael-McDowell-Either Alliance
    6) The Join Now, Become Leader in Weeks Party
    7) The Hold Steady
    8 ) The It’s Your Party, You Can Do What You Want To Party
    9) The Intimate Gathering
    10) The Judean People’s Front

  • Cracking video

    January 9, 2008 @ 8:39 pm | by Shane

    The Little Ones “Ordinary Song”, as seen on the blog of an obscure writer featured in late night RTÉ profile this week.

  • IFTA nominations arrive in attempt to derail Choice Music Prize announcement

    @ 6:00 pm | by Shane

    The IFTAs give us an annual chance to a) award Ireland’s indigenous film and television industry and B) recognise just how bloody small it is.

    With that in mind, time to look at the nominees for this year. No word on the TV Presenter nominees yet (who will Channel 6 put forward? Will it finally be Alan Hughes’s year?). And there doesn’t seem to be an Actress in a Lead role category. But here are some notable nominees (full list should be here at some point).

    In all, Kings gets 14 nominations in the movie categories, and The Running Mate and The Tudors get eight each in the telly ones.

    Best film: Becoming Jane, Closing the Ring, Garage, Kings, Shrooms (hold on, I’ll check that. Yes, Shrooms got a Best Film nomination)

    Lead Actor: Gabriel Byrne – Jindabyne, Colm Meaney – Kings, Cillian Murphy – Sunshine, Hugh O’Conor – Speed Dating, Pat Shortt – Garage

    Drama Series/Soap: The Clinic, Ros na Rún, Single-Handed, The Tudors

    Television script: Marcus Fleming – The Running Mate, Mark O’Halloran – Prosperity, Daniel O’Hara, Paddy C.Courtney – Paddywhackery, Aisling Walsh – Damage

    Single Documentary: Arts Lives - The Undertaking, At Home with the Clearys, Bloody Sunday – A Derry Diary, Get Collins, Ireland’s Nazis, Joe Strummer - The Future is Unwritten

    Entertainment: Dan & Becs, Killinaskully, Naked Camera, The Podge & Rodge Show

  • Hillary: WTF?

    @ 3:25 pm | by Shane

    With the polls and media and everybody got it so horribly wrong on the New Hampshire primary, there are some great theories going around as to what the hell just happened. There’s a particularly good piece on Slate.com which mentions the Bradley effect (white people will tell pollsters that they’ll vote for a black candidate, but won’t do it in the privacy of a booth), the Reverse Bradley (in which Iowa’s caucus meant people could be seen voting one way or another) and the fact that a lot voters only pay attention very late in the race, so that what they told the pollsters earlier doesn’t really count.

    The whole things opens up the question of polls: how often they go wrong (the same happened in the 2004 presidential election; the Irish general election polls were largely unreliable) and what value they bring early in a campaign if people change or make up their minds when they engage with the issues in the last 24 hours.

    Finally, for an idea of how Clinton’s staff were spooked yesterday, and the commentators bullish, watch Sydney Blumenthal (Clinton strategist) in full damage limitation mode while Frank Luntz laughs it up on last night’s Prime Time.

  • What men want: Pringles, balls, a bath

    @ 11:02 am | by Shane

    On the train this morning I spotted an ad for SpoilHer.ie, which helps menfolk arrange a “unique” experience for their lady on Valentine’s Day. Providing, of course, that by “unique” they mean “spraying a room with essential oils and bunging on a whale sounds CD”. Its Bedroom Bliss package includes “kama sutra scented candles”. I don’t know what the hell they might smell like. I don’t want to even think about it.

    But what about the men? Well, it turns out that they have it well covered. Should a woman want to spoil her man, for €65 (incl delivery) she can buy a “Sports Night” package. It features:

    2 x 50 Great Premiership Goals DVDs
    IRB Rugby World Cup 2003 Official Review DVD
    4 oz Black Leather Flask in presentation box
    250ml Foaming muscle soak with Vitamin E
    170g Pringles Sour Cream and Onion.

    Yes, it’s the ideal night for any Irishman: watching England win a World Cup while stuffing his face with Pringles and gargling on vitamin E muscle soak. What else could a man possibly want? Thanks, darling.

    spoil-him.jpg

  • Graham Linehan: funny, but serious, business

    @ 10:23 am | by Shane

    There will have been a few people watching the cracking profile of Graham Linehan on RTÉ1 last night who will have been hoping to pick up a few tips on how to writing comedy. But it should instead be watched by those interested in making good documentaries, because it was a lesson in making a programme that reveals the personality of the subject, talks to the right people, doesn’t clutter it with flashy edits and Lemon Jelly and which leaves the viewer knowing a hell of a lot more about several subjects - sitcoms, television, writing, comedy, Linehan - than they did before you went in.

    It was as assured an hour of television as you’re likely to see all year, although it’s no surprise given that it was the work of Adrian McCarthy of Wildfire Films, who previously made the Martin Ferris/Gerry Adams doc Living the Revolution and post-BSE doc Dead Silence. If you want an observational documentary, he’s about as good as they come.

  • Who needs the Golden Globes anyway…

    January 8, 2008 @ 2:16 pm | by Shane

    With the Golden Globes ceremony scuppered, the IFTAs have a chance to grab the international limelight. The full nominations are announced tomorrow, but voting is now open for the “People’s Choice Award, Pantene Best International Actress”. Go to the site to read biogs of Kiera Knightley and Hilary Swank, but not Cate Blanchett or Jodie Foster. Their profiles, in true movie tradition, are “coming soon”.

    But don’t miss the sponsor’s statement:

    Pantene, the leading brand loved by many Irish women for delivering great looking, shiny healthy looking hair and creator of the Ice Shine collection of products is pleased to sponsor the Best International Actress Award. Pantene’s Brand Manager said: “Our actress nominees have shone like true stars in some of the most compelling performances seen on film in the last year.”

    Golden Globes take note: you don’t need scriptwriters to produce shiny, healthy looking lines like that one.

  • The Roaring Twenties: Familiar

    @ 10:13 am | by Shane

    When ‘The Writer Of The Show’ commented on the trailer to The Roaring Twenties, he pointed out that it was a “parody of the Rules Of Attraction trailer which is itself a parody of the original ‘Clockwork Orange’ trailer”. That was an early warning of how derivative the sitcom would be. It borrowed freely from Little Britain, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, most things Graham Linehan has ever written, and then added in a giant, supersized portion of Spaced. A sitcom like this needs a spark of individuality to work. This ended up looking like a student project.

    It was reminder of just how difficult it is to make comedy. It’s been a bad year for RTÉ2 on that front, with this following The English Class (even more shamelessly derivative), and it increasingly looks as if the arrival of Bachelor’s Walk, Paths To Freedom and, a little later, Stew was a blip. They each featured strong writers, strong and experienced comedians and actors, and string, singular visions. Oh - and they were funny too.

  • Pregnant women on trains

    January 7, 2008 @ 11:23 am | by Shane

    A big shout out to the people on the packed Drogheda-Dublin train this morning, who kept their heads down when the obviously-pregnant woman stood in the aisle. Well done to the man who sacrificed his seat when I pointed out that she could do with one, even if he looked pretty unhappy as he did it.

    By the way, I’ve noticed before that women are as bad, if not worse, than men for not handing up seats. Young men will often get up, but I’ve seen women - and some I know who have had children themselves - spot pregnant women and then look the other way.

  • Can you sue trees?

    @ 9:56 am | by Shane

    This will be the trial of the century:

    Residents in some of Dublin’s leafy suburbs are taking legal action against Dublin City Council over damage caused to their cars and properties by sap exuded by council-owned trees. (more…)

  • Saturday column: Shortt shrift for the critics

    January 5, 2008 @ 11:20 am | by Shane

    A company is offering Killinaskully-themed holidays. You can tour the Tipperary villages of Ballinahinch and Killoscully in which Pat Shortt’s sitcom is made. There’s a complimentary jumbo breakfast roll upon arrival, followed by a power walk down the street.
    You can have a pint and a pink Snack in the pub which doubles as Jacksie’s. And then you can go home and a) tell your friends all about it or b) never ever mention it again. (more…)

  • How every column should be from now on

    January 4, 2008 @ 2:30 pm | by Shane

    I urge you to stop whatever you are doing and go and read Alexander Chancellor’s column in today’s Guardian. It is an eye-wateringly honest account of a disasterous Christmas during which his scrotum was punctured by a whippet. No, really: (more…)

  • Irish Times readers: common

    @ 10:06 am | by Shane

    The Irish Times prints its annual round-up of the most popular names in its birth notices. Anna and Jack top the list for 2007, but it’s the more unusual names that always catch the attention.

    Algernon appeared on the list. So too did Zenon, Cotheo and Niadh … (more…)

  • Sci-fi headline of the day

    @ 9:55 am | by Shane

    From Herald AM:

    Death Probe Was Flawed - Musharraf

  • Selection box

    January 3, 2008 @ 2:13 pm | by Shane

    1. The latest Dublin Review of Books is online.

    2. Curry Chips is back. But the Dolores O’Riordan fans are not amused. (more…)

  • New RTÉ sitcom: possibly aimed at students

    @ 7:39 am | by Shane

    *
    Both Bren and Una have asked the question: Why does it flash up the words “Not Gay”? I’m guessing it’s referring to a character’s “hilarious” backstory rather than the show itself.

  • A holiday in Killinaskully

    January 2, 2008 @ 1:09 pm | by Shane

    Hunting for something decent to watch one night over Christmas, we settled for Love, Actually. “It’s probably not the worst film ever made,” I commented as it started. It took less than 10 minutes to realise just how horribly wrong I had been.

    It was a poor Christmas for television. The Doctor Who special was predictably good, but there were no real surprises to it, except for the way in which Kylie Minogue looks less human by the month. (more…)

Search Present Tense

 
Close
E-mail It