Everything you need to know about the Golden Globes
Opening monologues, dance-offs, and bitching about Woody Allen.
Let’s get the parochialisms out of the way first. Any Irish win? Why yes. U2 won for best choon. The winners are all listed below. But what else happened?
1. Mia Farrow and Ronan Farrow threw a lot of shade at Woody Allen being awarded the Cecil B DeMille award.
2. Prince will be on the New Girl post-Superbowl special, according to Zoe Deschenel on the red carpet. That’s February 2nd, and he’s playing himself on the show. So random.
It appears as though the great, boring, reign of shades of nude is over, with female guests opting for colour. That said, there was no real knock out dress, and a lot of dodgy ones. My favourite red carpet get-up recently, was Julia Roberts’ Givenchy tux shirt and jacket (if you ignore the skirt) at the premiere of August: Osage County, but although she went for another black and white shirt combo (this time D&G), it wasn’t comparable in the slickness stakes.
As usual, the Dail Mail’s bitchathon is the best place to go for endless frockage if you can handle the loathing.
The Karkrashian Award goes to Victoria Hervey’s see-through-but-for-a-lie-detector-graph-motif yoke on her way into some afterparty. Jennifer Lawrence went big again, but I’m not sure about the under-butt strap on her Dior gown. I loved Emma Watson’s red Dior outfit, bringing backless to a new level with fun black pants and navy heels. Zoe Deschanel’s Oscar de la Renta’s outfit was really cute (she called it “gold” on the red carpet, but it’s not), and Anna Gunn looked PHENOM in her Donna Karen dress. Olivia Wilde went full on sparkly green in Gucci and it totally worked.
But the winner of Best Dress You’ll Never Afford And They Probably Had To Give It Back Anyway? Allison Williams in McQueen. Boom.
Side-note: I can’t deal with Kelly Osbourne’s fashion commentary on E!. It feels so false and overdone. It’s like she got a personality transplant along the way and no one’s talking about it. Actually, E!’s coverage overall is pretty cringe; Ryan Seacrest and Giuliana Rancic interviewing each other, the manicam (STOP), the stiletto cam, something called ‘Glamazoom’ which sounds like a weird blaxploitation film, Osbourne’s co-host making embarrassing jokes about being a ‘queen’, you go, gay minstrel! And so on. I still watched it though.
4. Celebrities! They’re just like us!
Hayden Panettiere bought her Tom Ford dress. The indignity of it all!
5. Here are Donald Clarke‘s thoughts on the awards.
6. Best one-liners from Fey and Poehler? Gravity being a film about the fact that George Clooney ”would rather float into space and die rather than spend another minute with a woman close to his own age.” And that Mathew McConaughey lost 45lbs for Dallas Buyers Club, “or what actresses call ‘being in a movie’.”
7. Fassbender and Cumberbatch dancing together. This makes me want to sing ‘Suit & Tie’ even though that song is rubbish.
8. Amy Poehler snogged Bono, Jacqueline Bisset gave the obligatory rambling speech, Lena Dunham wore a cool yellow dress.
BEST MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA
12 Years a Slave
I thought Gravity was a better film, and loved Philomena but haven’t seen Rush or Captain Philips.
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA
Matthew McConaughey, Dallas Buyers Club
Can’t wait to see this film, even if the title is really bad.
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE – DRAMA
Cate Blanchett, Blue Jasmine
Ragin’ on Sandra Bullock’s behalf, and Judi Dench really was sublime in Philomena, but as many people have already pointed out, it’s an unusually great year for female leads, so the competition was always going to be tough.
BEST MOTION PICTURE – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
Seriously, I do not get this. American Hustle isn’t terrible, but it is a bit of a shambles. I refer you to this excellent article which pretty much sums up my feelings towards this movie.
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
Leonardo DiCaprio, The Wolf of Wall Street
I’ve been following the backlash surrounding the depiction of Jordan Belford’s recklessness, particularly the open letter penned by his daughter condemning the film.
BEST TELEVISION SERIES – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
Another one for the endlessly growing new-TV-series-to-watch list. Here’s everything you need to know about it.
BEST DIRECTOR – MOTION PICTURE
Alfonso Cuaron, Gravity
Yes, definitely. But does this make it more or less likely that Steve McQueen will be the first black director to win the Oscar?
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
Amy Poehler, Parks & Recreation
Poehler is obviously awesome, but I kind of feel Lena Dunham should have won this.
BEST ANIMATED FEATURE FILM
Every time I see this in the cinema listings, I just start singing the Madonna song.
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SERIES, MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
Michael Douglas, Behind the Candelabra
Douglas is one of my favourite actors, so I’m cool with this.
BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
The Great Beauty
Blue Is The Warmest Colour gets jilted.
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
Andy Samberg, Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Another reason to start watching this show.
BEST SCREENPLAY – MOTION PICTURE
Spike Jonze, Her
This makes me even more excited to see this movie, because I love Spike Jonze’s writing, and there was some stiff competition in this category, so it must be good.
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A MOTION PICTURE
Jared Leto, Dallas Buyers Club
Proving the age old theory, that transforming oneself on screen is what gets the awards.
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA
Robin Wright, House Of Cards
I love Wright’s complex yet slightly outrageous character in this show; a bit Cruella, a bit L-Word Bette, a bit vulnerable.
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE – COMEDY OR MUSICAL
Amy Adams, American Hustle
As I said, American Hustle didn’t do it for me. In fact, it gave me a headache. Adams’ performance, like the film itself, is all over the place, so I just don’t know. Greta Gerwig should have won, but the Globes has a tendency to favour camp over considered.
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
Jon Voight, Ray Donovan
BEST ORIGINAL SONG – MOTION PICTURE
‘Ordinary Love,’ Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom
Music by: Bono, The Edge, Adam Clayton, Larry Mullen, Jr., Brian Burton
Lyrics by: Bono
Gwan the lads. Brian Burton is Danger Mouse, by the way.
BEST ORIGINAL SCORE – MOTION PICTURE
Alex Ebert, All Is Lost
BEST TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA
It had to win, really, didn’t it?
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES – DRAMA
Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
Elisabeth Moss, Top of the Lake
Interesting stuff, and an award that will probably propel both Moss and the show further into the spotlight. Also, high-five to the amazing Jane Campion.
BEST MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
Behind The Candelabra
Let’s hope it really isn’t Soderbergh’s last dance.
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION
Jacqueline Bisset, Dancing on the Edge
Another coup for BBC (BBC2 co-produces Top Of The Lake), this show is about a jazz band in 1930s London. I haven’t watched it, but I do think Bisset is very cool (and Angelina Jolie’s godmother. Random.)
BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A MOTION PICTURE
Jennifer Lawrence, American Hustle
Lawrence was the best thing about this film. She can do no wrong at the moment. Even this Taylor Swift photobomb is great.