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  • irishtimes.com - Posted: February 12, 2012 @ 1:44 pm

    Sad Story of Our Time

    Deaglán de Bréadún

    Check out this fascinating account of a very sad story about a tragic incident at a US university and the role that new technology played in the unfolding series of events. A long read but worth the effort http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2012/02/06/120206fa_fact_parker?currentPage=all

    • Serenity says:

      Deaglan, Thank You.

      A lot can be learned from this and so many more cases like it.

    • Desmond FitzGerald says:

      Sadly this is far more common than we care to admit.

      I notice the comment from the church about respecting someone’s ‘choices’ – you don’t choose to be gay anymore than you choose to have blue eyes or be left handed and while you can wear contacts or force yourself to use your right hand it doesn’t alter the fact that your natural eye colour remains blue and you remain naturally left handed.

      Also the context seems to be that the straight student had some valid argument that he needed to be sure he was ‘safe’ around the gay student – as if all gay people are somehow sexual predators and while it’s very easy to feel sorry for this guy up in court we also have to remember that exposing Tyler’s sexuality would more likely than not also expose him to violence and especially so in an area where baptist type evengelical chrisitanity has a strong influence.

      So it’s not just a simple matter of a joke in exposing someone’s mortifiying first foray into an active sex life as there are vastly dangerous consequences for doing that. Imagine it was a Muslim woman who was exposed and ended up dead by someone in her family following the disgusting savage ‘honour’ notion some people of that faith profess – would it be so funny then.

      So this young man has his worst nightmare exposed to the entire world and we can see from the various tweets and comments the strong undertone of homophobia and we are meant to accept that the resulting stress and fear and mortification placed onto the shoulders of a very fragile young man with little or no real world support system to deal with his feelings can be overlooked?

      It may be that it was the straw that finally made Tyler snap but that final straw was very deliberately placed upon him and the fact that at no stage of going through the process to set up this cam, to then release it, discuss it and plan to do it again that the person never seems to have showed an ounce of humanity or awareness of the fact they would destroy any shred of self esteem Tyler had managed to build up is truly appalling.

    • John O'Driscoll says:

      Looks like the defendant is caught on the invasion of privacy law that would be five years and the bias intimidation he isn’t anti-homosexual he expressed admiration for another person of same sex orientation. The difference between the Tylers was the confidence and success of one and the lack of confidence and seeming I dunno ”hello sky hello clouds” perhaps effeminacy of the other. Reckon that was what attracted the defendant’s contumely disdain perhaps nothing more sophisticated than the way fish in my tank will mob and kill a sick fish and live in peace with an healthy one of the same species. Just the animal instinct to somehow exploit the weak.

      But he didn’t kill the tragic young man who died. Tyler killed himself. It may have been that he was planning to do so for some time, and well before he met his roommate; at least he had perhaps ideations. Perhaps that’s just a suggestion planted by skillful journalism. But if you, as a sensitive young person with little experience of the world and so so vulnerable to the opinions of others, especially your nearest and dearest, should perhaps reveal a secret that despite all progress remains essentially one that dare not speak its name, should be rejected by 1) those whom you reveal the secret to, or 2) those who for some reason unapproved by you discover it for themselves, which would be more hurtful? And what if both instances occured? Wouldn’t it be piling Pelion upon Ossa? Hurt upon hurt all of it convincing you that for some reason the world would be better off without you? Of course that is always a lie, a fatal one sometimes, but to someone wounded so deeply by life it mightn’t take much to push you over the edge. In fact, you can easily be – your thoughts and feelings – yourself the one who pushes you over the edge. So much dodgy thinking in the world and it seems no matter what strides are made in education people still don’t learn to stop. And question their own thoughts or simply let them arise and then float away ungrappled.

      I reckon the defendant has shown quite distinct defects of charachter. Reckon too that he’s an amazingly adult looking individual for one of such gauche years. Reckon the two along with the introduction of evidence immaterial to the case being permitted by the court (the fact of a suicide that has no relationship to a charge of invasion of privacy with bias intimidation) might well serve to destroy his life also. Such is Der Prozess of what we are pleased to call justice. Think Someone once said let the dead bury their dead our business is with the living or words to that effect.

    • Homphobic bullying is horrific and should be stamped out wherever it occurs. Curious how little reference there is in the piece to the role of the college authorities. Was there no counselling service for students living away from home? Were there rules and/or a protocol about entertaining a visitor in shared accommodation? Was there any attempt to educate ‘straight’ students on how to relate sensitively to those with different sexual orientations – and vice-versa? The surviving room-mate looks like having the book thrown at him for a tasteless and reprehensible child-man prank that got complely out of hand. From what one hears about US prisons, his fate will be a terrible one should he end up there. At least, unlike his room-mate, he will be alive – but it will be an horrific existence. Is that the answer?

    • barbera.o says:

      I don’t see the point of this.
      Out of the immensity of “stories” on the World Wide Web, Deaglán picks “out of the hat,” as it were, the story of two, well-off, pampered, middle class American students, one engaging in homosexual sex and the other making a spectacle of it, leading albeit to the death of one and the imprisonment of the other much to the chagrin/bitter sadness of their families and friends. Much is made in the “compassionate” article (to which Deaglán refers us) of the angst relating to sexual identity crisis of the young men involved; and all of this in Deaglán’s blog to convey the sadness of the times we live in.
      For the love of God, people……….nearly 190,000 abortions were carried out in England/Wales 2010.
      Btw the “Gay” agenda is at full throttle in the Western World and ever more so in this country and has no need of our sympathy. My sympathies lie with young vulnerable people, at crucial times in their sexual development, being drawn into homosexual lifestyle on account of the pressures put on them by an increasingly aggressive “Gay” propaganda machine. There is much scholarship/evidence to give weight to the fact that homosexuality is an acquired sexual orientation, not innate. It is time that Irish media had an in-depth debate on this and did a bit of research into what actually goes on in “Gay” Ireland. I have some knowledge of the particular horror and misery caused to people’s lives on account of, for example, a partner/spouse opting for a homosexual rather than a heterosexual “lifestyle.”

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