On The Record

• Competition - win a pair of weekend tickets to Oxegen 2009!

  June 29, 2009 @ 9:46 am | by Jim Carroll

  We haven’t had a competition in ages on the blog but, thanks to Heineken Music, we have a pair of weekend tickets to Oxegen 2009 to give away to one lucky reader.

  Heineken Music are the ones behind the Heineken Green Spheres stage which will feature TV On The Radio, Pet Shop Boys, Regina Spektor, That Petrol Emotion, The Noisettes, Glasvegas, 2 Many DJs, Friendly Fires, Foals, The Saturdays (the only band playing Oxegen which features someone from Tipperary in the line-up, fact fans) and many more.

  Then, there’s the rest of the line-up: Blur, The Specials,Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Nine Inch Nails, Passion Pit, Hockey, Fever Ray, St Vincent, Villagers and dozens and dozens of other acts. It takes place at Punchestown Racecourse, Co Kildare from July 10 to 12.

  To win, simply tell us who would be on your fantasy festival stage. Yes, it’s Fantasy Festival Promoter. Acts can be dead or alive, Irish or international, plausible or implausible. One day’s line-up only and no more than 10 acts and please do give your criteria for your choices. The funnier and sharper the better. Even better, because it’s Fantasty Festival Promoter, you will not have to deal with agents, management, fans, Ticketmaster, Joe Duffy or the guards.

  Competition is open until 11.55pm on Thursday and the winner will be announced on Friday morning. One entry per reader please. Judge’s decision is final (ie I decide who wins and will not take any fuming from those who don’t win). Naturally, the competition is not open to anyone currently promoting live shows for a living. Go get ‘em, OTR readers.

  * Declaration of interest: I contribute a weekly column to the Heineken Music website
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97 Comments
1.
June 29, 2009
9:54 am
JIM!!
for the past few weeks I’ve being searching the net for Oxegen competitions and now one I can sink my teeth into…rawwr
I’ve been going to at least two festivals since i was 16 (now the tender age of 26) but missed out last summer due to travels…i need these tickets!!!!
ta for the link!
Comment by caroline
2.
June 29, 2009
9:54 am
Obviously it has to be …
Oasis
The Prodigy
Kasabian
Glasvegas
The Blizzards
Comment by NB
3.
June 29, 2009
12:19 pm
- John Lennon (Paul McCartney had a “Back in the World” Tour in 2004 but this would give a new meaning to the title!)
- Girls Aloud (fun, feisty, would get the crowd going)
Comment by Ethna
4.
June 29, 2009
12:31 pm
mozart doing a cover’s set
klf
john lennon acoustic set
taking heads
fat freddys drop
Innerzone Orchestra
john peel dj’ing between bands
Arthur Russell
the clash
the beastie boys
thats it covered right there,o yeah
Comment by pete
5.
June 29, 2009
12:37 pm
If it’s an absolute once off fantasy gig then I want something truly unique, not any old bands that people have already seen - I want the fictional bands that (dis)graced pop culture in my life time. So I’d have
The B Sharps (Homer’s Beatlesque Babershop Quartet from The Simpsons. Can fill the early ‘quirky set slot’)
Dr. Funke’s 100% Natural Good Time Family Band Solution (From arrested development - a nice bit of dysfunctional folk to ease the crowd into the day)
Zack Attack (Saved by the Bell - postmodern nostalgia-tastic)
The Orange Organics (from Pugwall - ahh, Jenny stirred manys the latent prepubescent feelings…)
Soggy Bottom Boys (From O Brother Where Art Thou - do i need to justify this one?)
The Pinheads (Marty McFly’s band in Back to the Future, fact fans! Do a ‘too darned loud’ instrumental of Huey Lewis and the News)
Wyld Stallyns (from Bill and Ted - bit of dumb metal to get the crowd warmed up)
Sonic Death Monkey/Kathleen Turner Overdrive (High Fidelity)
Crucial Taunt (Cassandra’s band in Wayne World - see Jenny, Pugwall)
And headline act, a band that came to be on the year I was born, Spinal Tap. (Yes Im aware they do perform live in ‘real life’ but it’s not possible to top them in this category and are suitable headliners)
Even the scheduling of the line up is perfect - light stuff to ease the day in, a few up beat middle sets to pick up the crowd, and a classic band to finish the day and leave everyone going home satisfied. Narrowly missing the cut were Stillwater (Almost Famous) and Autobahn (from The Big Lebowski)
Comment by Joe
6.
June 29, 2009
12:38 pm
Well first things first….I’d have to be brought to and from the gig via Helicopter (don’t want to miss out on any of the acts by being stuck in traffic, which seems to be given at any Irish gigs as of late!) and I’d also like to be back home in the same week that I left.
The tickets would have to be for the VIP section, not because I want to be “seen” but because I’d need somewhere to shelter if and when the heavens open. Plus, no mental queuing at the bar!
Once all the important logistics of travel and beer have been sorted out it’ll be on to the actual acts……Fantasy you say?…..hmmmm…..
I think we’ll start off with a next relaxed set by Sigur Ros just to gently get in the mood. Next would be Bon Ivor. Then onto The Stone Roses (well you did say Fantasy!). Next up we’ll have Oasis (none of the new stuff mind) just to keep the Manchester vibe going. Kings of Leon are up next. Then Jimi Hendrix next (taking this Fantasy too far now) followed by the Prodigy. Probably finish up with U2 (and as with Oasis only the older stuff). Then off to the Helicopter……
B.
Comment by Barry Clancy
7.
June 29, 2009
1:01 pm
Main Stage:
Super Furry Animals, with special guests Bruce Springsteen & Courtney Cox-Arquette
Dead Stage:
Buddy Holly vs Johnny Cash
HotPress Stage:
Holy God (Holy Fuck cover band, fronted by Mick Lally)
Rejuvenation Stage:
1989 Pixies
Stage Fright:
Susan Boyle
Recession Tent:
Aces High/Deuces Wild/Full House (or other card-game-based cover band, come complete with MIDI box accompaniment)
In Tents:
Radiohead
Nudist Silent Disco Tent (earphones optional):
Girls Aloud
The Saturdays
Comment by Brendan
8.
June 29, 2009
2:16 pm
The Beatles
Queen
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
Eric Clapton
Nina Simone
Micheal Jackson
The Eagles
Aretha Franklin
Diana Ross
Johnny Cash
Comment by Caroline K
9.
June 29, 2009
3:08 pm
i thought punchestown was in kildare
Comment by john
10.
June 29, 2009
3:32 pm
Here’s my perfect day:
12 am: Kick off loud with My Bloody Valentine
1 pm: The Replacements
2 pm: Sugar (Sunstroke Nostagia)
Next is beer n food time chillin at the back with…
3 pm Tracy Chapman
4 pm Christy Moore
5 pm John Martyn
Main Headliners
6 pm The Pixies
7 pm Jeff Buckley
9 pm Nirvana
11 pm Primal Scream (Thurlas nostalgia)
A mixture of nostalgic and missed legends. Included is mid-day drinking time and a time for ridiculous sing-songing. Primal Scream at Feile 95(ish) was my favourite festival moment!
Comment by Peter Nagle
11.
June 29, 2009
3:47 pm
john - it is - have now stuck it back in the middle of Co Kildare.
Comment by Jim Carroll
12.
June 29, 2009
3:53 pm
right here goes
Daft Punk-greatest show on earth
Flaming lips-2nd greatest show on earth
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart- i think he might like some of the modern stimulants and modern technology, maybe have orbital give him a dig out
Stone Roses- they must play for free just to show they are not reforming for the money ,play their debut album from start to finish and ian brown must use that kanye west voice fixing software
The Jimi Hendrix experience- i will make sure that no vomit will be available backstage
Tupac shakur and biggie smalls- they must wear a neutral gang colour of pink
Miles davis/hypnotic jazz ensemble just to see what the hell they could come up with
David Bowie-to finally play an irish festival set. under no circumstances is allowed have any of tin machine on site with him
Mark cohen- this is purely personal. i hated him so much at feile in 91 that i will have him shot by 2 machine gun towers on either side of the stage as soon as he starts ‘walking in memphis’
my last one is going to be classic tyrone and armagh all ireland games to be shown in a filed 2 miles away from the main stage so all the GAA jerseys can f**k off away from me
Comment by petee
13.
June 29, 2009
4:17 pm
it’s been tough narrowing it down to just 10! There also seems to be a bit of a musical theme hmmm
Jamie Lidell - nice bit of a singsong, guys wanna sound like him, girls wanna do him
Chromeo - just because, anyone that saw them at EP last year will agree i’m sure
Hall & Oates - She’s gooooooOOOoooooOOOooone
Michael Jackson -i would have said MJ even if you’d have asked a week ago, him being dead just makes it more of an attraction
Daft Punk - because i’m probably the only person in the world not to have seen them live at this stage
N*E*R*D - circa 2005, before Pharrell’s solo album & when they were still decent
David Bowie - but only if he’ll promise to also sing some of the songs from the Labyrinth soundtrack
Queen - for the epic singalong that would ensue
The Pretenders - so chrissie hynde can prove she’s cooler than all of us
Prefab Sprout - so anyone who’s never heard of them can wonder what the hell is going and get very confused and then turn up to hear the lyrics ‘hot dog, jumping frog, albequerque’ (i dont think i can spell albequerque)
aww, i wish that lineup was gonna happen now
Comment by Catherine
14.
June 29, 2009
4:30 pm
Off topic, the pixies are playing olympia oct 1st and 2nd
Comment by stephen
15.
June 29, 2009
4:33 pm
Michael Jackson
Arnold from Different strokes
Quincy Jones
Rod Temperton
The Jackson Five
Joe Jackson
Jack Johnson
Jack L
Jackie Wilson
A minute’s silence
Comment by Mumblin' Deaf Ro
16.
June 29, 2009
5:07 pm
Grizzly Bear - Cause they are so hot right now
Talking Heads - So the uneducated can finally learn who all the other bands have been ripping off all these years.
Frank Zappa And The Mothers Of Invention with special guests The Chieftains - Zappa loved Irish music in the latter part of his life, it would be just like his Funeral.
Johnny Cash plus Guests
The Ramones - For all the people who never bought their album but bought the t-shirts in Top Shop
Black Mountain - Just cause I love them
Daft Punk - Greats show and great tunes for a late evening setting sun.
Plus one great random band that no one has heard of.
Pink Floyd - Circa 1975 to play into the wee small hours of the morning.
Comment by Dave GIlligan
17.
June 29, 2009
5:42 pm
A selection of any five acts from Woodstock transported to the present day, preferably the Who, Arlo Guthrie, Joe Cocker, Hendrix, Crosby, Stills, Nash AND Young..
plus:
The Beatles
Queen
Pink Floyd
Buddy Holly (joined by the Big Bopper)
Spinal Tap
Comment by Alan
18.
June 29, 2009
6:02 pm
alf stewart, donald fisher & harold bishop in a blue oyster cult tribute band,
jesus christ and the dirty 12
casper hauser , minus the knife
a spelling b composed of writers from drop-d
Comment by mayoman
19.
June 29, 2009
6:04 pm
in no particular order….
Boards of Canada
RIDE
Ash(circa 1996)
Beastie Boys(2 sets, circa ‘88 and ‘94)
Mogwai(circa ‘96)
MBV(circa ‘89)
The verve
Louis Armstrong
Ella Fitzgerald
(for a jazzy chill out mid afternoon)
Comment by Turtle
20.
June 29, 2009
8:31 pm
what a muppet i am
of course @12
i meant Hypnotic Brass Ensemble/miles davis haha
Comment by petee
21.
June 29, 2009
8:53 pm
Michael Jackson. Cause I was due to see him in London at the O2. I’d need no-one else.
Comment by Ronan
22.
June 29, 2009
9:14 pm
In VERY arranged order of preference, starting with the earliest acts:
The Beatles
Radiohead
Pink floyd
Jimi Hendrix/ Band of Gypsys
Aphex Twin
Micheal Jackson
Lou Reed/ Velvet Underground
Godspeed You! Black Emperor
Daft Punk
Smashing Pumpkins
A ticket costs only your mind……
Comment by Ben Donohoe
23.
June 29, 2009
10:16 pm
Jim Morrisson the doors
bruce springsteen
Bob Marley & the wailers
Led Zeppelin
U2
Oasis
Nirvana
Yusuf Islam
Michael Jackson
Prince
I imagine this lineup as a great charity event and they all appear on stage for the final number
Comment by denise keller
24.
June 30, 2009
12:05 am
To start the day on a light note, we will start with William Shatner. Common People as encore.
For sheer entertainment vaue, the Blizzards……
Robbie Williams, and to put him down a peg or two, Take That after. Circus is just such a good show. Probably the greatest show on earth. Just WOW.
For some afternoon delight, Prestige Worldwide will play a rare concert of Boats and Hoes, followed by Time to Say Goodbye. Its the fucking Kettelina Wine Mixer baby.
David Bowie, Ziggy Stardust era-thought something legendary was needed at this stage in the day.
Jack L-just think he would be amazing-no sarcasm intended in this instance.
Headliners-Wings-only the band the Beatles could have been.
Comment by dave lynn
25.
June 30, 2009
1:18 am
starting from the start , and on a sunny day.
bob marley
at the drive in (spike them with speed and let them play for 20 mins)
anvil (”the real spinal tap”) but with a show on the same scale as an iron maiden show
led zeppelin at sunset
jeff waynes war of the worlds , with the full theatrical show
then boards of canada, to gently bring us into the electronic part of the night
autechre takes us to the dark side
from here on there are no gaps between sets,so luke vibert brings up the speed here. he’s good at that.
aphex twin playing live with loads of old hardware everywhere. instead of those guys making funny faces last year , put the jackson 5 up there , dressed like the zombies from thriller
jackson 5 stay on for venetian snares when everyones wrecked , and he plays stuff that just doesnt make sense
it will be sunny enough now to fall asleep on the grass to vsnares
Comment by kh
26.
June 30, 2009
1:43 am
(1)Europe
(2)Asia
(3)America
with all proceeds going to Africa….
Comment by Dan O'D
27.
June 30, 2009
9:27 am
If I could choose the line up, I’d go with:
The March Violets to open (With Rosie Garland and Simon D).
The Machine in the Garden
Skinny Puppy
Nitzer Ebb
The Damned
Fields of the Nephilim (1989 lineup)
The Sisters of Mercy (1985 lineup)
Siouxsie and the Banshees
Bauhaus
The Cure
Comment by J.M.M.
28.
June 30, 2009
9:56 am
Billie Holiday
Rory Gallagher
Aiden Walsh
Husker Du
Half Man Half Biscuit
Thelonius Monk
Aphrodites Child
Dudley Moore & Peter Cook
Django Reinhardt
Talking Heads
AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Comment by cd
29.
June 30, 2009
10:10 am
My festival incorporates atrists of different genres. The fantasy element is that I’ve decided they must perform while using children’s toys that ryme with their name. Here goes:
DMX on a BMX
Electric Six on pogo sticks
The Big Bopper on a space hopper
Doggy Snoop with a hula hoop.
Atlas Sound on a merry-go-round
Julian Cope with a skipping rope.
Warsaw on a see-saw
and to headline
Tom Waits on roller skates.
Comment by Guy incognito
30.
June 30, 2009
10:50 am
i would say michel jackson because if he was on stage on oxegen he would not be dead know
Comment by katie campbell
31.
June 30, 2009
1:23 pm
the flaming lips play clouds taste metallic (wayne coyne silence between songs version)
boredoms 2009 instrument extravaganza (featuring 2009 instruments)
r kelly presents: trapped in the closet live!
thee aphex twin olde stylee cornwall rave-up
a view to a kill: funk, interpretive dance and plenty of cowbell with grace jones and christopher walken
homewerk: kraftwerk vs daft punk
talking heads
Comment by Conor
32.
June 30, 2009
2:19 pm
right, this is my list, it is simply a collection of artists I have seen live and would love to see again (in a field, drunk & in this order)
Super Extra Bonus Party
Q-Tip
Damien Dempsey
Ray Davies
Gangstarr
White Denim
NOFX
Asian Dub Foundation
Iggy & The Stooges
DJ Craze
Comment by robbie
33.
June 30, 2009
3:27 pm
Micksegen: The festival where only Mick’s need apply!
Live Stage
Mick Jagger (just about made it)
Mick Jones (ditto, we may need two dead stages!!)
Dead Stage
Michael Jackson
Michael Hutchence
Indie Stage
Miki Berenyi from Lush
Mick Cooke from Belle and Sebastian
Bad hair stage aka no audience stage
Michael Bolton
Mick Hucknall
Prance and Dance stage.
Michael Flattely (yeah you weren’t expecting that!!)
George Michael (you need to end with a michael!)
Comment by Gillian
34.
June 30, 2009
3:39 pm
Some brilliant entries so far folks - thanks to all the wannabe live music promoters in the audience
Comment by Jim Carroll
35.
June 30, 2009
5:08 pm
pop tent:
lilly allan
lady gaga
beyonce
indie tent:
kings of leon
oasis
the killers
dance tent:
pendgelim
crookers/kid cudi
lisa lashes
oldies tent:
bob dylan
michael jackson
and of course christy moore ( it wouldnt be an irish festival if we didnt have aul christy)
Comment by sinead mc kiernan
36.
June 30, 2009
6:42 pm
first act on stage has to be michael jackson, im sure everyone in the world wishes they can see him now
second : AC/DC just because they are the best and are to good for a real festival
3rd:nirvana…..because i can
4th: kings of leon….my favourite band
5th: oasis….i hear they are crazy live
6th: snow patrol….iv seen them live and they are amazing
7th: elvis……. ( i dont know if hes still alive)
8th: daft punk…..nothing further to say
9th : johnny cash…tribute acts are amazing , i cant imagine the real thing.
10th: jake coco ( very good unknown act)
Comment by michael taheny
37.
June 30, 2009
8:31 pm
Hi Jim and welcome to my fantasy festival line up…
The Dubliners- Unfortunately Luke Kelly died a few months before I was born and is the act I would most like to see live.
The Killers- I know they are playing at oxegen and rightly so! They are the best band of the times in my opinion.
Susan Boyle- Because we all need that one act who gives us a chance to pop to the bar for a pint.
Mario Rosenstock- I would just love to see this guy live singing José And His Amazing Technicolor Overcoat
Dustin the Turkey- Come on we were robbed in that eurovision. A singing turkey, it doesn’t get much better than that does it??
And the head line act:
Brian Cowen- We could dress him up in a superman outfit and have him fly onto the stage singing a song about how we are going to session through the recession!
Comment by Raicheal Culligan
38.
June 30, 2009
9:17 pm
right my festival would go like this,
the who and oasis would be at the same time and have a good old ruck to see who gets zak starkey.
the faces and the rolling stones would also share a time and would have a highly charged game of backgammon for the services of ronnie wood.
the legendary stone roses and primal scream would have a last man standing competition to win a very drunk mani.
the libertines and babyshambles would have a “who did pete doherty do more damge to” competition to try get him to stay with the other band.
the doors would exhume jim morisson so they didnt have to let ian astebury sing with them again.
the night would then be rounded off by a mass kiss and make up session which would involve all artists holding hands and doing a moving rendition of “we are the world” with ron wood reducing the crowd to tears singing michael jacksons lines.
the trip home would take minutes not days(im talking to you lord henry mountcharles)
by ger fagan
Comment by Gerard Fagan
39.
June 30, 2009
9:38 pm
Could the oxygen 09 line up be any better?? I think not!! I wouldnt make any changes that WHY I deserve to go!!!!!
Comment by laura murphy
40.
June 30, 2009
9:44 pm
1 Michael Jackson
2 Elvis Presley. both legends in their time & would be great & loved by all
3 Glasvegas, bring something else to the stage
4 Elbow - AMAZING orchestra also something different
5 The simpsons crew - they always have good musicals and who wouldnt want to listen to homers constant ‘Dohs’ and Barneys constant belches
6 Stevie wonder - need i say more?
7 U2 would please any crowd
8 beyond neon - a local band from belfast. Theyre going 2 make it one day, so may as well start here
9 John Mayer - a bit of folk rock would go down smoothly. plus the man can do everything from rock, pop, blues, jazz & even hip hop
and finally my number 10.. The New Radicals. their songs can get absolutely anybody in a happy mood. perfect for rocking out to in oxegen
Wow ive just made the best lineup for me ever! i would love to see all these guys!! fingers crossed =)
Comment by Nieve Malone
41.
June 30, 2009
11:37 pm
First up, I would have HALF MAN HALF BISCUIT to start the day off on a jolly note.
Then I would have the BEATLES, just to get them out of the way.
Next up would be The ROLLING STONES, but this time I would get the Hells Angels to do security just for them - to see how they like it.
Start an early 90s nostalgia buzz with a super group made up of CARTER USM, NEDS ATOMIC DUSTBIN and POP WILL EAT ITSELF.
M.I.A. – to make up for the Dublin gig she cancelled last year.
The SMITHS – just because they are the best band ever.
PUBLIC ENEMY – to keep it real.
NIRVANA - to see what would have happened next.
The SEX PISTOLS (with Sid Vicious – not Electric Picnic version)
JOY DIVISION, with Ian Curtis also singing New Order songs - just to experience him singing World in Motion.
Finally, headlining would be the STONE ROSES. But only with classic line up, and Ian Brown would have to attend boot camp in singing for the month leading up to it.
I would also have JOHN PEEL and TONY WILSON introducing acts in old school Top of the Pops styleee!
Comment by Ciaran
42.
July 1, 2009
12:26 am
Here is my fantasy festivial act listing. I picked the particular acts because these are moments in history that I want to re-live. These acts would perform in one fun filled sunny day in Ireland. Well it is fantasy isn’t it!?
Rage Against the Machine- Back in 1993 these guys appeared on stage in their birthday suits to protest against censorship in music. Talk about putting a point across! I’d love to see the reaction this would get in Ireland.
Arctic Monkeys- I travelled over to Manchester to see these lads in the Old Trafford Cricket Grounds in July 2007, unfortunately I was too excited and booked everything before their Irish dates were announced. In the middle of the singing “Balaclava” the sound went in the whole stadium. The act remained oblivious to this and continued singing. In the mean-time the crowd started chanting “You’re not singing anymore..” It’s probably one of those “you had to be there” moments but its certainly one i’d love to experience again.
Greenday- I’ve seen Greenday sing live at Oxegen, and as part of their act they allowed a member of the crowd to come up and play the guitar for a song. Well at this fantasy festival the member they would pick is my good self. Granted I can’t play the guitar but in this fantasy i’d perform my socks off on stage! MCD would be booking me for next year!
Michael Jackson (RIP)- Who wouldn’t want to see the King of Pop perform the moonwalk to Billie Jean?
Yang Peiyi- You may be wondering who this is! Well remember the girl who sang for the opening ceremony of the Beijing Olympics but her song was mimed by another girl because she was not “cute” enough? Seriously, if they gave Susan Boyle a chance why couldnt they give a little girl a chance in the media.
The Pogues- What can I say, Shane MacGowan has to be the most loveable rogue of Ireland. He stands for all the sterotypes which we are subject to in Ireland. Simple as that. Im not sure when my fantasy festival would be held, but I would thrown in “The Fairytale of New York” for good measures. Sure we’re always up for a bit of craic no matter what time of the year it is!
Comment by Ruth
43.
July 1, 2009
12:29 am
Introducing, in association with Liveline/Talk To Joe productions - Fume Festival 2009! This is an exciting new departure for the live summer festival circuit in Ireland, an original and innovative festival designed to get everyone absolutely FUMING as it will be organised so that everything that can go wrong, WILL go wrong - or your money back! Everything about Fume 2009 will be designed and engineered to infuriate all its attendees, their parents, the local population, the country as a whole, newspaper columnists, the church, and various moral guardians and do-gooders.
The shambolic Fume 2009 will take place in a ’scenic location’ but in reality will be an inaccessible muddy field in the middle of nowhere in Co.Meath. Road access by vehicle and by foot will be totally inadequate leading to massive traffic jams, crushing and overcrowding - a bit like Hillsborough! We have employed the most inept stewards and security teams available. On the site itself, there will be overpriced beer available and rubbish food-stalls. Groups of dodgy-types will be bussed into the venue from deprived areas of local towns and will be placed at strategic points throughout the site to deliberately ‘ruin the vibe’. There will also be computers available in the Fuming Comment Monkey And Soul area so attendees can immediately start writing their strongly-worded letters to various newspapers, On The Record blog and Boards.ie while STILL at the festival! In order to leave as small a carbon footprint as possible, there will be NO public transport provided after the festival. Attendees will have to make their way home on foot. Concert-goers are encouraged to throw litter everywhere, light fires and urinate in local residents’ front lawns as they make their way from the festival site.
As for the bill, we have got 10 of the most controversial acts in the world today on the main stage as we want to get the whole moral majority in this country fuming and to generate as many column inches as possible.
We have as headliner Bob Dylan – apart from ‘going electric’ in 1965 and the anti-establishment sentiments in his lyrics, not a truly controversial figure. But we hope to get everyone fuming as he will not be playing any music but instead will treat us to a 90 minute cookery lesson.
My Bloody Valentine, whose set will consist entirely of the ‘holocaust’ section of ‘You Made Me Realise’ and nothing else. Two airline jet-engines will sent in especially for the event to increase noise-levels. Earplugs will NOT be available.
The return of controversial American performer GG Allin, who will be slipping various implements into various orifices on his body, puking on his audience and writhing around in his own excrement.
Controversial US death-metal band Cannibal Corpse will be rolling out all their hits - “Post Mortal Ejaculation”,“Stabbed In the Throat” and their feel good hot of the summer ‘Hatchet in the head’.
Controversial shock-rocker Marilyn Manson will attempt to break a new world record by mooning at the audience 1000 times.
Controversial pop-starlet Lady Ga Ga promises to drop all sexually suggestive and risqué on-stage antics and will simply cut to the chase to have a sex on a bed on stage during Pokerface.
Controversial masked rockers Slipknot will burn effigies of Bob Geldof and Bono and at the climax of their set.
We welcome a rare reunion show from controversial US rappers 2 Live Crew who will be playing their classic album ‘As nasty as they wanna be’ in its entirety while dressed in nuns’ outfits.
Controversial Cork genius Cathal Coughlan will re-enact the stunt he pulled that got him kicked off U2’s Zoo TV tour. Yes, Cathal once again will pretend to stick a small statuette of the Virgin Mary up his back passage. Don’t miss that one!
Veteran controversial Alice Cooper! Instead of pretending to hang himself onstage as he has done in the past, for Fume 2009 Cooper will hang himself – FOR REAL, as he loves Irish audiences so much!
Line-up and times subject to change.
Subject to licence.
Presented by Talk To Joe Productions in association with Liveline/Never Again! promotions.
Comment by Quint
44.
July 1, 2009
2:50 am
Fantasy Festival 2009
Twas the day before fantasy and all were prepared,
The legend Luke Kelly was grooming his beard.
Michael Jackson was ready to moonwalk with grace,
Security prepared for Eminem by stocking some Mace.
Amy Winehouse showed up, with lovely new teeth,
Christy Dignam from Finglas performed in bare feet.
U2 were rehesarsing “Beautiful Day”,
Rod Stewart was next, with old “Maggie May”.
With dawn came hundreds of music fans,
In buses, cars, limos and some campervans.
The atmosphere was electric as Thin Lizzy performed,
The hearts of all music lovers truely were warmed.
Comment by Maureen
45.
July 1, 2009
8:43 am
Christy Moore + The Stunning + The Saw Doctors – This is the opening act, Irish festival superband.
Nina Simone – Complete with glorious sunshine to bask in.
The Stone Roses – I don’t mind if Ian learns to sing, at Feile 95 it sounded great. Only afterwards when I saw it on TV did I realise how terrible he was!
The Pixies – They completely stole the show from RHCP in Phoenix park
Bruce Springsteen – Wish I had gone to Glastonbury
U2 – The full Popmart show with stage and lemon.
Elvis – 1968 comeback special gig.
Led Zeppelin
Bob Dylan – He has regained his voice for the evening, his sings recognisable versions of his songs, he laughs and quips with the crowd and has a few sing-a-long numbers!!
The Beatles – The obvious headliners
Comment by dave s
46.
July 1, 2009
9:33 am
This is getting better and better - go OTR readers!
Thanks for all the entries so far - keep ‘em coming!
Comment by Jim Carroll
47.
July 1, 2009
10:08 am
Puppet Show
Spinal Tap
Comment by Glam Racket
48.
July 1, 2009
10:15 am
Would have Sinead, Rollerskate Skinny and Whipping Boy play the Lion & the Cobra, Horsedrawn Wishes and Heartworm through completely,
then I would have a Wild Pitch records reunion with Main Source, the Ultra Mags and Gangstarr
then to play one track only for the encore
Mexican Pets - Subside
The Upper Room - Black & White
Kingmaker - Ten Years Sleep
Ministry - Jesus Built my Hotrod
Comment by OC
49.
July 1, 2009
11:59 am
Fantasy Festival Lineup:
1. Fleet Foxes
2. Patrick Wolf
3. Arctic Monkeys
4. The Eels
5. Guillemots
6. The Mountain Goats
7. Modest Mouse
8. The Wombats
9. Felix Da Housecat
10. Animal Collective
Comment by BF
50.
July 1, 2009
12:35 pm
Hey Jim
My Fantasy festival weekend has a little something for everyone cus its as much about the crowds reaction as well as how good the bands are…there needs to be a buzz…
first up would be Free Beer…you’re a Limerick man arent you? these guys play in pubs around the county…cheesy, traditional, rebel stuff but always gets the crowd going so they’d be a good warm up..
next would be The Blizzards…they’re everywhere at the mo and i think deservedly so…
Then The Presidents Of the United States of America would take to the stage…I think they’re legends, brilliant fun live..
Vampire weekend would be after them…they’re pretty cool…
Oh and then the Fratellis….everyone loves Chelsea Dagger…or is that just me??
Forgive me for the next act but a few years ago, he was the ultimate showman….Robbie Williams..
After him, I’d mix things up again and either the Queens of the Stone age of Muse would play…neither of which are my cup of tea but people, usually men, seem to love them! It’d be dark at this point and the Muse stage show is amazing with all the lights etc…
Then I think that the Pussy Cat Dolls should come on…just for maybe half an hour, sing a few songs but just do all their dance routines…they’d lead the way for the ultimate headline act….
King Of Leon!
Comment by Aine
51.
July 1, 2009
12:44 pm
1. PJ Harvey and Karen O take to the stage in a battle of ownership over the red lipstick/blackhair dye/ I owe indie rock queen title! Plus, musically, it would make for an amazing show!
2. Frank Sinatra and David Bowie, singing ‘Little Drummer Boy’ to get Irish consumers geared up for crimbo?
3. The Saturdays, but schedule them to play on Sunday to really confuse the ³I¹m just finished my Leaving Cert, am away from Mammy and Daddy for the first time and am determined to drink so much vodka I cant read the timetable straight² crowd who will flock to see them.
4. Let Conor Oberst free from the shackles of the Mystic River band and return to stage under his pseudonym name. Given his track record at festivals (Glasonbury 05), Bright Eyes is sure to deliver a controversial set.
5. Ham Sandwich: given the lead singers inherent nature for good timing, perhaps she will pop another sprog live on stage, as Beyonce serenades the crowd with the tune of Baby Boy in the background.
6. Kila - hail rain or shine, the crowd are guaranteed to be sweating
7. The Beatles, and they could do a restage of the cover for Sgt Peppers Lonely Hearts club band album with all of the ten acts?
8. Elvis. To prove he isn’t dead.
9. The Jam: Only singing one song, over and over “I’m dreaming of Monday’ to remind all the 9-5′ers that they are never far away from the office.
10. And finally, man of the moment, Michael Jackson, who could most definitely do with an injection of oxegen!!
Comment by Ann-Marie
52.
July 1, 2009
1:53 pm
Jim
I just realised I went over by one act on my fantasy festival line-up.
So I have removed the ROLLING STONES from the list - they will probably be playing the O2 someday soon anyway.
Thanks
First up, I would have HALF MAN HALF BISCUIT to start the day off on a jolly note.
Then I would have the BEATLES, just to get them out of the way.
start an early 90s nostalgia buzz with a super group made up of CARTER USM, NEDS ATOMIC DUSTBIN and POP WILL EAT ITSELF.
M.I.A. – to make up for the Dublin gig she cancelled last year.
The SMITHS – just because they are the best band ever.
PUBLIC ENEMY – to keep it real.
NIRVANA - to see what would have happened next.
The SEX PISTOLS (with Sid Vicious – not Electric Picnic version)
JOY DIVISION, with Ian Curtis also singing New Order songs - just to experience him singing World in Motion.
Finally, headlining would be the STONE ROSES. But only with classic line up, and Ian Brown would have to attend boot camp in singing for the month leading up to it.
I would also have JOHN PEEL and TONY WILSON introducing acts in old school Top of the Pops styleee!
Comment by Ciaran
Comment by ciaran
53.
July 1, 2009
2:25 pm
There is a bit of a twist to the acts that perform at my Fantasy Festival. Each act that performs will have a special guest performing on stage with the bands for particular songs. This fantasy idea hides all of the stories behind the songs and brings new meaning to each song.
1. Dido Feat. Pat Kenny, (This land is mine).
2. Michael Jackons Feat. Brian Cowen, (Earth Song).
3. Fergie Feat. Mary Harney, (Big Girls Dont Cry).
4. Oasis Feat. Eamonn Dumphy, (Cigarettes & Alocohol).
5. Ozzy and Kelly Osbourne Feat. Declan from Telly Bingo, (Changes).
6. Natasha Bedingfield Feat. Madonna, (I wanna have your babies).
7. U2 Feat. Father Jack Hackett, (Sunday Bloody Sunday).
8. Shaggy Feat. Bertie Aherne, (It wasn’t me).
9. Bette Midler Feat. Michael O’Leary, (Wind beneath my wings).
10. Bruce Sprinsteen Feat. Sonia O’Sullivan, (Born to Run).
Comment by Micheal
54.
July 1, 2009
2:42 pm
So my fantasy festival acts, in no particular order …and cut down to 10 (its really hard just to pick 10 and also not ones other people have chosen!!)
- The Beatles (would have to headline)
- Queen (fresh from Live Aid)
- Thin Lizzy (with Phil Lynott) possibly featuring Jape (another man who plays the bass from crumlin)
- Mozart with Jimi Hendrix
- The Smiths
- DJ set from John Peel
- Arcade Fire (before the 05 Electric picnic set so this set could become the infamous ‘were you there?’!)
- Riverdance troupe with special guest Michael Jackson (they could have a dance-off?!)
- The White Stripes
- Dizzee Rascal
By the way, this festival would feature - fully flushing toilets, no transport problems, sunshine (but not too much that people get drunk too fast!) good food and a choice of beer! (Beer that is cheap!)
Thanks
Comment by Michelle
55.
July 1, 2009
2:54 pm
My Fantasy Festival would be a Supergroup extravaganza:
1) Florence and Rage Against The Machine (Florence & The Machine and Rage Against The Machine) - For some hard rock, with added whimsical harps.
2) The Dizzee Rascals (Dizzee Rascal and The Rascals) - A Hip Hop / Indie marriage made in heaven.
3) MGMTV On The Radio (MGMT and TV On The Radio) - As I’m sure they’d provide some electro- infused indie magic.
4) Black Moth Super Rain-Bowie (David Bowie and Black Moth Super Rainbow) - It wouldn’t get any better than this psychedelic collective teamed with a living ledgend.
5) The Grace Jones-town Massacre (Grace Jones and The Brian Jonestown Massacre) - For some eclectic rock, with a bit of added Jamaican disco.
6) The Elliott Smiths (Elliott Smith and The Smiths) - To cater for all those in search of some guitar-backed angst.
7) Jape-anese Popstars (Jape and Japanese Popstars) - These homegrown talents would provide some amazing dance tracks for the crowd to pogo along to.
Johnny Cash Vs. Kate Nash - For a Cockney / Country dynamic duo.
9) The MaccaB-52s (The Maccabees and the B-52s) - To provide some jangly, hook-laden, indie rock. Also, I think it would be great to hear Orlando Weeks sing vocals on ‘Rock Lobster’.
10) Ian Dury and The Bloc Party-heads (Ian Dury & The Blockheads and Bloc Party) - To add a heady mix of arthouse, indie, and new wave rock to proceedings.
In addition, drinks would include: Kanye West Coast Coolers, Al Green Teas and S-Club 7ups, to eat, there would be: Moldy Peaches, Hot Chips and Smashing Pumpkins, everyone would stay in Camper Van-Heldens, and would wear Ben Kwellies.
Comment by Tara McEvoy
56.
July 1, 2009
3:00 pm
1.Michael Jackson (an amazing start for all)
2.The Beatles (they made music that just doesn’t date and will probably be liked for centuries)
3.Johnny Cash (the man in black)
4.Bob Dylan (legend)
5.Jimi Hendrix (left handed guitarist…very talented.)
6.Bob Marley (king of reggae music)
7.Led Zeppelin (adored by fans)
8.Bruce Spingsteen (need i say more)
9.Van morrison
10.Run dmc (finishing act leaving the croud on a high buzz)
Comment by Cliona
57.
July 1, 2009
3:09 pm
Fantasy festival line up eh??
1. R.S.A.G performs via live video link from the international space station.
2. Crowd parties like its 1989 at Prince but he sues them all for singing along to songs they do not own the rights to.
3. Interpol do stand up comedy between songs
4. Animal Collective setlist leaked months before performance
5. Sigur Rós do a set of boyband covers
6. NIN and Chris Cornell duel each other on twitter from opposite sides of the stage
7. MBV play an acoustic gig
8. Portishead play the 9th album they’ve released in a single year in entirety.
9. Daft Punk reveal themselves as Matt Damon and Pat Kenny during their encore. The world has never felt so uncool.
10. Radiohead drive onstage in SUVs and play a greatest hit set in which the lyrics are reworked to name check their corporate sponsors. “AIB is so very special”
Comment by Vincent
58.
July 1, 2009
3:58 pm
First off, Mud would be playing, because no festival’s complete without a bit of mud.
Secondly, Legendary Liverpudlians The Beatles, and hopefully we’ll all be singing, ‘Here Comes The Sun’.
After That, We’ll ‘Jump In The Pool’, with indie- electro band Friendly Fires.
Sadly, by this stage of the day, it may be ‘Time To Pretend’ that the port -a -loos are in a condition fit for human usage, although at least we’d have neo-hippies MGMT to console us.
Next Up, a musical ‘Intervention’ from Canadian collective Arcade Fire, followed by an acoustic set from Jeff Buckley. Hallelujah! Then it would be the turn of 80s goth- rockers The Cure at ‘10.15 On The Saturday Night’, as I’m sure the inevitable rain would affect Robert Smith’s hair in terrifying and mystical ways.
A ‘Purple Haze’ would descend upon the crowd for the legendary headline act on the main stage, Jimi Hendrix. Finally, French duo Justice could round up the evening in a second tent, as we ‘D.A.N.C.E’ the night away.
Comment by CH
59.
July 1, 2009
4:28 pm
This is an extra special fantasy festival…. So whats the deal? Well my acts all sing cover versions which I have carefully chosen purely for entertainment reasons.
Here are my ten performances and my chosen songs..
Placebo singing (No Doubt) Just a Girl
Sinead O’Connor singing (Placebo) Nancy Boy
U2 singing (Pink) So what
Pulp singing (Sinead O’Connor) Nothing Compares
Pink singing (Oasis) Wonderwall
Richie Kavanagh singing (Greenday) King for a day
Greenday singing (Sharon Shannon/ Mundy) Galway Girl
Christy Moore singing (Blur) Country House
Red Hot Chili Peppers singing (Damien
Rice & Lisa Hannigan) Unplayed Piano
The Wolfe Tones singing (Mark McCabe) Maniac 2000
Comment by Tadhg
60.
July 1, 2009
4:43 pm
Hi Jim, here’s my Lineup:
- Blondie, Circa Top Of The Pops, when Debbie Harry was the epitome of cool, because they’d be amazing headliners, and the crowd would have no trouble singing along to every word of all their hits.
- Blur, so the newly reformed Britpop pioneers could prove once and for all that they’re better than Oasis.
- Elvis, as he’s a genuine Rock ‘n’ Roll Hero. Unfortunately, his appearance may prove that Scouting For Girls song, ‘Elvis Isn’t Dead’ right, but that’s a risk I’d be willing to take to see the King live.
- The Saturdays, so everybody could nip back to their tent to catch up on kip, or visit the Merchandise stall.
- Michael Jackson, for shedloads of hits, and the famous moonwalk.
- The Mighty Boosh, as they could sing all the tunes from their surrealist show, and the Moon might even make an appearence.
- Pulp, circa Common People, with the added bonus of seeing Jarvis Cocker’s awe-inspiring specs in real life.
- The Killers, circa Sam’s Town, with Brandon’s moustache back for one last show.
Comment by Vinny Toast
61.
July 1, 2009
5:24 pm
Radiohead, for their subtle yet anthemic songs, and powerful and moving live performance.
Daft Punk, as apparently their live shows are immense, and I’m yet to experience one.
MIA, because she’d keep everyone entertained with sunny and infectious tunes, even if you’d have to wear shades to counteract the flourescence of her clothing.
Flaming Lips, in order to see their renound live show, and because, if you’re lucky, you might even get crushed by Wayne Coyne in a giant plastic bubble.
Crystal Castles, because, depending on when you started drinking, you may already be nursing an almighty hangover, and nothing remedies that better than listening to a band who replicate the sound of what I imagine it would be like to be trapped inside a malfunctioning arcade machine while having a dalek yelling at you.
Foals, because the NME said so.
Animal Collective, as they’d provide a quirky and uplifting soundtrack to the festival.
Comment by NF
62.
July 1, 2009
6:27 pm
Al Green - to ease the hangover & let you know everythings OK & it’s gonna be a great day.
Ella Fitgerald - to hear the voice that closest resembles what i imagine honey would sound like: if it had a sound.
Beach Boys - Why?…….why the hell not?
Hot chip - to start the blood flow to the limbs as the afternoon warms up.
Talking heads - to get the adrenaline going.
Orbital - Reliving my youth on this one.
LCD soundsystem -’cos they’re bloody brilliant! live
Led Zeppelin - cue aneurysm
Comment by Pat Murphy
63.
July 1, 2009
9:57 pm
My fantasy lineup would be:
Lunchtime: Tom Jones - the Gastonbury set.
Afternoon: Lily Allen: Because she makes me laugh, in a good way.
Late Afternoon: Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young: Chilltime with some great songwriters.
Tea time: Vampire Weekend - for some rockin’ college scene tunes.
Before dark: Luciano Pavaroti - a bit of Nessum Dorma does the world of good.
Twilight: Michael Jackson (around the time he released Bad.) For dancing, watching and joining in.
Dark time: Pink Floyd (about 1983 or so) - fantastic light show and props for the night time. Saw them in 1990 or so and they were a great experience.
Finale: Queen: (About 1987.) Everyone knows the words, Freddy’s the best showman in town and we’d all go homeward singing.
Comment by Emerging Writer
64.
July 1, 2009
10:52 pm
Bob Marley and The Wailers: Can you imagine the cloud that would be hanging over Punchestown for the rest of the day ha ha
Saw Doctors: Get the crowd going and have a good old bit of craic whilst singing about a road lol.
Oasis: Because I dont care what anybody says, when you hear 50,000 singing Wonderwall then it sends shivers down your spine.
Enter Shikari: Get the people up and jumping around.
Johnny Cash: Absolute legend who would make me and my dad smile. Someone everybody can enjoy of all generations.
Aslan: They got ignored for so long by festivals that I thought I would book them alongside some greats to give a big middle finger to everybody who wouldnt book them. Savage band to.
The Frames: Fantastic combo of different instruments and an overall great band. Get them on and watch em shine I say. Shur Glen Hansard can even bring his Oscar and throw it to the crowd, if he wants ya know.
Newton Falkner: Only if he plays SPONGEBOB!!!!
The Muppets: With an amazing giant stage show. Must have Animal on drums and Kermit doing a moonwalk in tribute to michael Jackson.
HEADLINE:
The Beatles: By far the GREATEST band ever. A massive singsong of Yellow Submarine by everybody still a bit out of it from Bob Marley and to end the day we could have a massive singalong of HEY JUDE!!!! Perfection methinks.
Comment by Stephen Minihane
65.
July 1, 2009
11:14 pm
Great competition Jim, here’s my ideal line-up, in no real order (although the current Oxegen line-up didn’t shape up too badly either):
Gladys Knight & The Pips - These Mowtown ledgends would add tonnes of soul to the festival.
Alannah Myles - ‘Black Velvet’ would be a great live song.
ELO - It would be class to see them perform ‘Mr Blueskies’ live onstage.
Bay City Rollers - So all the BCR fans can crack out their tartan parallels.
The Chemical Brothers - If you’re in the mood for a wee bit of a dance.
The Supremes - ‘Stop! In The Name Of Love’ is a great tune, and it would be lovely to hear it sung live at this festival.
Patsy Cline - Introducing some mellow country songs.
Booker T & the MGs - For all the Mods in the audience!
Procol Harum - To calm down the crowd with ‘A Whiter Shade Of Pale’.
The Shangri - Las - For some classic 50s bubblegum pop.
Comment by JB
66.
July 2, 2009
12:23 am
Hello… the 10 were chosen according to my personal taste, a balance of genres and times the greatest of the great past and present and most importantly their output when live. Picture all of these are in their prime….all on one stage, one day.
No.1 Arcade Fire open. In a few decades people will look back on them like we do with the Beatles….Canada finally can be proud for more than its “tuxedo.”
N.o.2 The most underrated band ever. E.L.O. For those not wit them hear them and go…”yeah I know that song!”….then jump on the bandwagon and pretend to sing their lyrics.
No.3 As Punk’s representative Sex Pistols play a set, Sid Vicious does something ‘crazy’ which is always blurred out when the DVD of the gig is released.
No 4: The chill out session sees Bob Marley and the Wailers play crowd favourites…. Dreadlocks and a ‘bita smokin’,….a parents worst nightmare finally seems attractive to them.
No.5 The ‘coolest man’ on earth taunts a few million women when just stepping on stage. A bonfire is lit, nakedness everywhere as chaos ensues whilst the other members of the Doors look on modestly. One shouts “Jim you’re mad as a box of frogs!”
No.6: Bob Dylan- moaning never sounded better….finishes with a Kraftwerk cover….then he laughs.
No.7 Thin Lizzy fly the Irish flag as the day gets darker. Some Marley fans still thinks he’s on and call for ‘exodus!”…Phill Lynott looks at him sharply, downs a pint of Guinness and plays ‘Boy are back in town’…ignoring the man whose more confused than ever.
No 8:
Their 1997 set was revolutionary reinventing how dance music could be played ‘live’, 2007 furthered this but with the greatest light show ever seen…combine these but with both Thomas and Guy revealing their faces (They resembles a certain Manic Street preachers video to everyone’s horror) and you have a show.
Daft Punk
Headliner:
The most anticipated reunion since Dougal lost Ted. John and Paul (or Paul and John for those) reunite on stage, Yoko smiles at the side whilst Paul gives her a dirty look then…. Hendrix enters with a riff….George and Ringo drop in (though Starr was upset having to take time out from his busy song writing schedule)…after this….well a few tunes are played. Finish with Hey Jude…Jimi joins the band full time.
The Beatles and Jimi Hendrix (together)
Comment by Kevin
67.
July 2, 2009
12:41 am
Main Stage
- The Band performing the last waltz including all the guests(kill one bird with the one stone)
- Queen
- David Bowie(including his songs from the labyrinth)
- Jimi Hendrix(with band of Gypsys)
- Frank Sinetra
- Radiohead
- Leonard Cohen
- Elvis
-Velvet Underground
Hangover Stage
- John Martyn
- Bruce Springsteen solo(have seen him three times with the E street Band would love to see him solo,the nebraska stuff)
- Nina Simone
- Joni Mitchell
- Johnny Cash (live link to live at Mount Joy)
- Sigur Ros
- Fleet Foxes
Beach Stage
(Actual Beach incase of nice weather)
- Beach Boys
-Bob marley
-Neil young performs his album on the Beach
- Duran Duran( imagine Her name is Rio and she dances on the sand)
Dance Tent
- Prince( Reveloution Era)
- Talking Heads
Irish Tent
- Thin Lizzy
- Rory Gallagher
Comedy Tent
- Coldplay
- Greenday
- Kanye West
Battle of The bands Tent
- Ike vs Tina
-Paul,Ringo,George vs John & Yoko
Cover Bands Stage
-Oasis ( Beatles cover band)
- Kasabian ( Stone Roses cover band)
Plus Many more to be announced!
Ticket Price:(like radiohead)make whatever payment you wanted, it’s up to you
Comment by Brian C
68.
July 2, 2009
9:38 am
OK, I’d start off the day with some MUDDY WATERS for a bit of blues to ease myself into the day.
The afternoon would see BOB MARLEY and CURTIS MAYFIELD play together before MARVIN GAYE does his thing in the early evening.
ROY ORBISON and BRUCE would bring us into the black and white night before the BEASTIE BOYS get the party started into the wee hours.
Finally, the finish it all off…..DAFT PUNK
Comment by P&M
69.
July 2, 2009
10:35 am
Gospel Stage:-
Mahalia Jackson
Aretha Franklin
BIlly Holiday
Nina Simone
Intimate Stage:-
David Bowie
Bob Marley
Sigur Ros
Main Stage:-
Queen
The Beatles
Nirvana
Comment by Mar
70.
July 2, 2009
10:53 am
The Fantasy festival kicks of at 9pm on a warm summers evening as the Sun Goes Down
1.Bob Marley & The Wailers will set us on our way with a classic set -A kind of Calm before the storm of sorts
2. Following on from Bobs Anthem ridden set the promoters have plucked a ‘band of the moment’ act. A band that aint got a big back catalogue but have a few banging tunes that go down well with the festival crowd- Welcome on stage MGMT
3. Its time for some Guitars. The crowd are nicely in The flow now. The Roadies are playing a stormer with the quick band turnarounds , The Sound is mint it can only mean one thing - Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band. A set that is familiar to every generation in the crowd jammed with hits and fun. A hard act to follow
4. We have had a brilliant start to the Festival but it has had a heavy male influence. Our Next act is a classic female artist who has brilliant festival form (most famously Woodstock) Please welcome on stage Janis Joplin. As she belts through her set you can hear sections of the crowd in utter joy saying ” I never realised she sang that ……”
5. This is a festival to cover all genres of music and these guys own this genre - Yes its the elusive and brilliant DaftPunk. The crowd go crazy during the set . Can they last this intense pace and the festival only half way through…..
6. We have ad alot of dancing and our promoters feel that a sing along at this stage would be of merit. The Arcade Fire appear on stage for a blisstering set which climaxes with the ultimate feel good sing along that is ‘Wake Up’ joined on stage by David Bowie in this epic set closer -Though questions have to be asked of the crowd of what lyrics they were actually singing back at times!!
7. Modern Day rock time and the real promoters head ache. Who? who ? Who? to pick. I tried to pick a band that have slight festival appearance but not the kind of festival overkill that some bands do - Im looking at you Kings of Leon. For this fantasy gig we signed up The Strokes. Clean sounding guitar sound that has influenced evry band in the past decade. They Really get the crowd jumoing with Last Night.
8. Ok, Im Irish and Im gonna have to get a gig for one Irish Act. Because U2 dont do festivals and we dont want them anyway they wont be appearing. There is only one Act up to this festival standard. Ill name them. thats all that needs to be done. No descriptions - no buildups. We all know the band & what they do. Say hello to Thin Lizzy….*crowd go wild*
9. So many acts to choose from and so few slots left. Who would have thought it likely that Shane Ward would be appearing??? You didnt ?? Yeah, you were right. Get a group dudes-This is a Classy Festival. Up now as we approach dawn is the legend of all times. There is no fantasy festival that could not have him on Stage. Elvis comes on to the sound of cheers and a backing band of at least 20 musicians. This is epic.Elvis , always a man able to work the home crowd invites Lisa Hannigan on stage to duest on Suspiciouys minds. The King of all has the crowd eating out of his hand.
10. The Final act of what has been a surreal night of music sees the mighty beatles play a hit jammed set. A guest vocal appearance on I am the walrus from Liam gallagher and one hell of a singalong on Hey Jude by all the crowd , Old & Young. A way to finish a festival or what!
Comment by Patrick
71.
July 2, 2009
11:00 am
I’ve decided to go for proper plausible line up: (agh, having trouble posting this for some reason)
We’ll open with Super Extra Bonus Party, the two times I’ve seen them before they have blown me away with their energy and music.
I’d like to see Sons and Daughters play as they were testing the waters with songs from the then unreleased ‘the gift’ to an unreceptive crowd. A couple of hit wouldn’t have gone astray.
Another Irish band making noise at home and abroad on the line up is Fight Like Apes, they have been putting the fun back in to pop (oh, dirty word) with non-senceical songs with fantastic tunes.
To bring a bit of indie cred to the line up lets whack on Broken Social Scene for some sonic bliss. They were nothing more then monumental last time I saw them.
Injecting some humour and some cracking covers to the proceedings I’d like to see Me First and the Gimme Gimmes hit the stage.
For the obligatory hip-hop/rap act, lets have Saul Williams. Niggy Stardust is a highly under-rated album.
Time to get to the meat of the festival – Biffy Clyro would not look out of place haveing been building on their fan base over the last few years. Always good for a festival. Com the Biffy!
One of my own personal indulgences would be …And you will know us by the trail of dead. It’s my festival, so they are playing. They blew me away the only time I’ve seen them thus far. I’d forgotten just how many great songs then have until they played them all back to back.
A band that has always rocked out at festivals is the Chemical Brothers. There is not much I can say about them that hasn’t already been said. Let them lose on stage and watch the madness.
For our headline of the evening – The Flaming Lips. One of the few regrets I have was going to see The Darkness over seeing The Flaming Lips at Oxegen a few years back. *sigh* They would roar through their set, with lasers, balloons, zorbing in to the crowd only to end it all with their duet with the Chemical Brothers – The Golden Path.
I would pay good, good money to see this festival!
Comment by EoinH
72.
July 2, 2009
11:03 am
After 4 days of musing here is my offering…
Muses- Inspiration day 4th July
1) Vampire Weekend- with special guest Paul Simon
2) Bell X1 - with special guest David Byrne from Talking Heads
3) John Mayer- with special guest Jimi Hendrix
4) Yeah Yeah Yeahs- with special guests PJ Havery and Patti Smith
5) The National- with special guest Jeff Tweedy
6) Florence and the machine- with special guest Kate Bush
7) Silverchair- with special guest Kurt Cobain
Interpol- with special guest Ian Curtis
9) Fleet Foxes - with special guest Brian Wilson
10) Gas Light Anthem- with special guest Bruce Springstein
Comment by caroline
73.
July 2, 2009
11:11 am
Tough one but here goes.
We’re all used to the easy, cuddly crustiness of the “Irish Festival”. Flapping flags with little smiley suns and felt hats shaped like tulips. Oh how we love our drum circles and impromptu guitar sessions in the campsites.
Not any more brethren, you’re fucked now.
Welcome to the Official Festival of the Recession: Fucked-segen 2009.
Here at FKD Promotions, we want to help you express the raw fear and panic that this current year has instilled in your soul through a variety of hand chosen musical acts.
It’ll be a day long, noon ’til midnight.
There will be no stages, bands will emerge from random, custom built holes in the ground and drop from helicopters (please bear in mind this may result in some injury, you will be signing an extensive disclaimer at the entrance). This all adds to the unique, panicked feeling of Fucked-segen 2009. Imagine the rush of finding out a band has launched into action half a mile away, feel the wind rush through your hair as you stumble drunkenly across the fields, ankles twinging as you lunge into rabbit holes and traps. Nothing like it.
First up to start the day slowly we’ll have Norwegian purveyors of fine rock Combichrist. Fucked-segen takes place on my birthday so they’ll be singing their number one hit Happy Fucking Birthday to me.
And we’re expecting a guest appearance on this from Mr Mike Patton of Faith No More fame as he will sing an acoustic version of The Gentle Art of Making Enemies accompanied only by the harpist woman who sits near Trinity College with the flaming hair and ivory skin.
They”ll then be joined on stage by Enda Kenny who has secretly been training with rap collective Underground Resistance to get “in with the kids”.
He’ll combine his hilarious trademark phrase “Sign the Contract” with Combichrist’s catchy number What the Fuck is Wrong With You People?.
Next, falling from the sky in a hail of screams and bullets it’s Toto! Retro is the new black, EP can shove Flock of Seagulls because no-one does retro like Fucked-segen.
Cue a singalong to Rosanna, Africa and Mushanga. Ok, maybe not Mushanga .
Then welcome out of the ground, covered in dirt and faeces, Messrs. Hall and Oates. They will stunningly be joined on I can’t Go For That by Kila. Bodhráns a-go-go to reflect the quickened heart rates of the drunk and newly unemployed audience.
No future? No bother!
Then a magical mid afternoon session with Dessie O Halloran and the Beastie Boys. If you haven’t yet heard of Dessie then go check him out now on the Youtube. Never have you seen the like. He embodies the soul of the bog. Dessie’s here to provide guest vocals on Sabotage, the dancing will probably be left to the Beasties though who are all wearing fetching tricolour shell suits and will only perform songs concerning Buddhism.
There will be a “country fair” element to the late afternoon’s proceedings where you can pelt the shittest bands of 2008-2009 with rotten fruit. Mundy, you’re up.
Freddie Mercury will make a brief appearance with David Bowie in the woodland area. They will re-enact Eugene O Neills shatteringly funny play Long Days Journey Into Night which runs on the comedic themes of broken homes, alcoholism, emigration and death.
This will culminate in a weeping version of Under Pressure with David clawing the earth and climbing the trees using skills learned from Cirque du Soleil.
As the sun sets we’ll welcome on stage Kraftwerk who will sit and play a selection of children’s nursery rhymes, auf deutsch naturlich, on those tiny fisher price xylophones with the coloured keys. Little Miss Muffet gets a standing ovation every time!
And finally, we’ll welcome into the field the kids of the Langley Schools Music Project. Their haunting renditions of Space Oddity and Calling Occupants will leave you wide eyed and confused internally.
The final blow will be dealt by a 7 year old girl singing Desperado accompanied by an interpretative dance featuring Kate Bush.
You will finally realies that you have indeed Fucked-sedised.
See you there.
Comment by Al
74.
July 2, 2009
11:25 am
BREAKING NEWS!
August 7th - ‘We Own The Night’
Featuring:
Flying Lotus
Fourtet
Burial (One Night Only!)
DJ Shadow
Leftfield (One Night Only!)
Air
Radiohead
Daft Punk
and very special guest Jim Carroll DJing the afterparty
Comment by Ronan
75.
July 2, 2009
11:35 am
Line-Up at Oxegen:
1. Ham Sandwich
2. Fight Like Apes
3. Delorentos
4. Dan Deacon
So i could go to Whelans on saturday night and it wouldn’t be so busy there
Comment by Stampy
76.
July 2, 2009
12:21 pm
The Beach Boys, circa “Pet Sounds” will start us off for an uptempo welcoming that exudes summer, pouring rain be damned. Crosby Stills Nash and Young keep the 4-part harmony propped, performing their more light-hearted numbers that display their electric prowess, appeasing even the most stubborn Fleet Foxes fans. The Kinks are up next, bridging the pop gap and introducing power chords…and then Iggy Pop. Peanut butter stage show a distinct possibility. Iggy gives way to David Bowie, who brings the crowd to crescendo before bringing on the Traveling Wilburys, with the big names and big talents to fluff the fame-seekers and perform memorably while some showgoers are moderately sober. Steely Dan takes on at twilight, serving a sexy electric-jazz mix to put all in the mood and give a moment to recharge before George Clinton and Parliament funk us til the early hours, PCU style.
Comment by Stephanie
77.
July 2, 2009
12:33 pm
Hello Jim, hope all is well.
Thanks for the opportunity.
It would probably go like this….
The Fantasy Festival with a TV star twist to it! The festival will leave the audience wondering if the days events had been a dream!
Simon Cowell would have to take his place on stage and be judged by thousands of music fans. He would have to sing a song chosen by the enthusiastic audience, perhaps the Fields of Athenry or Sean South of Garryowen. There would be a eject button to boot the “star” off stage if we were unhappy with his performance, which inevitably we would be!
Jessica Simpson would be next on stage where she would sing her heart out. Yet unknown to her there would be a display of some of her most bizarre and stupid quotes such as;
“Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish? I know it’s tuna, but it says ‘Chicken by the Sea.’”
She would think that the roars from the audience were screams of approval when really we would be laughing at this stars verbal misfortune…
We are all aware of the “rivalry” of Gay Byrne and Pat Kenny. However at this festival, in a bizzare turn of events the pair would arrive on stage together in fully tuned voices to sing “Summer Loving”. Pat Kenny singing the female voice.
Podge and Rodge, our TV’s favourite puppets from Ballydung Manor would be on to entertain us during the festival with their usual obscene language and behaviour. I would also have Richie Kavanagh on stage with them to sing his Podge and Rodge song. We are all aware of the puppets’ love and attraction towards beautiful women. So as part of the show I would bring a hypnotist on stage to convince the pair that Richie Kavanagh is the most beautiful woman the 2 have ever seen. I can image that would provide some laughs.
The Final performance on the night would be Hot Chocolate. They would come on stage and sing “You sexy thing”. Then to the shock and surprise of the audience, the Stig (Top Gear) would arrive on stage and remove his helmet to reveal himself to the audience as TV’s famous scarescrow Worzel Gummidge!!
The audience would undoubtedly be left baffled by the days events, certainly a festival not to be missed.
Comment by grace
78.
July 2, 2009
1:10 pm
Here’s my lineup, for the fantasy aspect I’ve gone for a Super / Action hero theme:
Hero Stage
Superanimal Collective
Batman For Lashes
Tinchy Stryderman
Superman Extra Bonus Party
Bond Iver
Human League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen
The Fantastic Fourtet
Villian Stage
Golden Silversurfers
Adam Green Goblin
Comment by Ducky
79.
July 2, 2009
1:19 pm
My Festival would have some unlikely covers:
Morrissey singing ‘The Sun Has Got His Hat On’.
Dolly Parton singing ‘Raining Blood’.
Slipknot singing ‘Love Machine’.
Neil Young singing ‘The Fast Food Song’.
Atari Teenage Riot singing ‘It’s Oh So Quiet’.
Comment by Speedaway04
80.
July 2, 2009
1:24 pm
jesus - just cos
a giant toblerone - playing french skiffle
Some cars - beeping their horns randomly.
french and saunders - dancing too, and being funny. they used to be funny.
Terry Phelan - doing showband covers (nice fella terry phelan, met him after a match once)
the prodigy - without the music, just with microphones shouting at the the audience.
a chorus of babies crying green day songs in communist uniforms.
Exposé - bottles of piss at the ready
The Pixies - but it would have to 1989/1990. I’m not joking here, i’d love if they were on my lineup.
some mad art experiment - like a man sicking up into his mouth every now and again inside a giant balloon to the sound of kraftwerk. People will watch anything these days.
Comment by Ideas man
81.
July 2, 2009
1:31 pm
Without a doubt….Michael Jackson
That would be enough for me!! =)
Comment by Katie Mc Govern
82.
July 2, 2009
2:11 pm
You’d have to have someone like the Sultans of Ping to start out and get everyone is the festival mood.
Then Scarlett Johansson (yeah, remember that Tom Waits covers album she came out with). She may have “murdered” those tracks but she’s a fox!
Bowie and Bing Crosby. Brilliantly random.
Sprinsteen. Cos he’s Springsteen.
And a final mellow wind-down with Mr. Jimi Hendrix. Just like at Woodstock… sigh…
Comment by Coilin
83.
July 2, 2009
3:12 pm
Ten for the Fantasy Festival. No queues, no crusties, no GAA jersies, no Glen Hansard would add dreamily to the fantasy. But back to the music….
BONEY M: 20,000 people standing in a field singing “Brown Girl in the Ring”, “Ra-Ra-Rasputin”, “Rivers of Babylon”? Pop Nirvana.
CAPTAIN BEEFHEART: Reclusive genius who U2 asked to support(!!) them a few years back. Beefheart’s reply – “Who is this Bongo fella’ anyway”?
HALF MAN HALF BISCUIT: Would require Nigel Blackwell leaving Britain for the first time in his life – the loveable eccentric. Of course, they wouldn’t turn up if the gig clashed with a Tranmere Rovers game.
JIVE BUNNY & THE MASTER-MIXERS: Mentioned in On The Record this week and I immediately dug out the old stars on 45s. “Let’s Twist again like we did last Summer….” indeed. One of their number is now a tree surgeon in Telford. Truth!!
PREFAB SPROUT: Will be releasing their first album in an age (“Let’s Change The World With Music”) on September 7th. Not appeared on a stage since about 2000. Paddy McAloon has had serious health problems. “Steve McQueen” is the greatest album ever made. Sermon over.
THE RESIDENTS: The oddest of eyeball-wearing oddballs. These looney tunes make Michael Jackson seem as ker-azzy as Enda Kenny. Their record label is called Ralph.
THE SPECIALS (with Jerry Dammers): I know, I know… It’s as likely to happen as… as… as me winning this competition.
THE TRAVELING WILBURYS: Finally, Jeff Lynne would get his chance to shine now George and Roy are dead; Dylan is worse than dead and the other member is bleedin’ Tom Petty.
SCOTT WALKER: My sister saw him in London last year. He hit a side of beef with a brick for an hour while reciting “The Waste Land”. Kinda’ like a BELL X1 gig in so many ways…
XTC: Andy Partridge has suffered from stage fright since 1982 and XTC haven’t played live since. If stage fright is contagious can we get John Spillane in contact with Mr. Partridge?
Comment by Ralph Mexico
84.
July 2, 2009
3:29 pm
Thanks for the competition, Jim. It’s harder than you’d think to pick just ten! But after much mulling over the options, here’s what I’ve decided the Fantasy Festival should go like:
VAMPIRE WEEKEND to kick off the event with their catchy and clean cut afrobeat, making all the indie kids in the crowd positively ecstatic as they chant along.
DJ SHADOW’ll whip the crowd into a frenzy by dropping some crazy beats so that everyone can pull up a groove and throw some shapes, preferably the timeless ‘Big Fish, Little Fish, Cardboard Box’, although hopefully during this rave no one will be rushed off to the onsite ambulance after imbibing some glowstick juice, good an idea as they may, at the time, consider this to be. Michael Jackson and Justin Timberlake can be seen having a side of stage dance off. My money’s on Jackson.
GOGOL BORDELLO would sail through the seas of people on a custom built Pirate Ship (also a great platrom for some serious stage diving), complete with Jolly Rodger flag, before embarking onto the stage to continue to send the crowd off their collective trollies with some raucous Ukranian gypsy punk and this time, unlike Live Earth, Madonna would be nowhere to be seen.
THE SMITHS would calm everybody down a bit after an immense but tiring start to the festival, as the crowd reflects on Morrisey’s philosophical lyrics, or just, you know, bop along to Johnny Marr’s legendary guitar skills in action, and toasts the reunion of the godfathers of indie with a drink, preferably cool and frosty.
The stage would also be fully decked out in flowers at this point, exactly like the video for ‘This Charming Man’.
MGMT’d be ticking the box for some modern chart hits, as they take to the stage having donned some fully tie- dyed attire, including headbands (optional for the audience) and suitably psychedelic wellies, and would have everybody singing along. They’ll be joined by special guest Prince appearing from a trap door in the stage floor, who will doubtlessly add heaps of funky vibes to ‘Time to Pretend’.
THE MISFITS, next, so anybody who felt like it, Health and Safety permitting, could pogo along to some American rock smashes and have a wee mosh down the front to some heavy, heavy guitar riffs.
BLOC PARTY are playing next, as I’ve never seen them live but I hear they’re phenomenal. The opening of the set would feature the band singing ‘Blue Light’, providing a quiet opening to a set which would take in all their best songs, finishing on a triumphant and euphoric, ‘The Prayer’.
BOB MARLEY takes to the stage for the obligatory slice of classic reggae. As twilight falls over the festival and day melts into night, he strums out some sunny and mellow sing alongs, followed by an acoustic cover of ‘No Diggity’ by Blackstreet, during which he is joined by Snoop Dogg making a guest appearence, and the set finishes on an impromptu ‘Drop It Like It’s Hot’.
BEASTIE BOYS would pick up the pace, during what would feel like one giant house party, banging out some 80s party hits and getting up to all manner of crazy antics onstage, preferably including numerous custard pies, á la ‘Fight For Your Right To Party’.
DAVID BOWIE, Ziggy Stardust himself would be headlining, as he’s a genuine musical genuis. The Space Oddity himself could take to the stage in a space craft, dismounting that in an astronaut suit and revealing the classic lightning bolt eye make up when he removed his helmet. The set will feature a guest appearence from none other than Iggy Pop who would help to cover not only some of Bowie’s songs, but would also take to the mic with Bowie for a rendition of ‘Lust For Life’.
And with that a decidedly bewildered and amazed audience would take to their tents, after witnessing a festival of such magnificence that it will surely be described as one for the history books.
Comment by blocpartyfan
85.
July 2, 2009
3:55 pm
My fantasy would be if Marylin Monroe’s performance of “happy birthday mrr. President” was live on stage!!
how fab would that be! aaaah ive never been to oxegen and im 20:(
Comment by claire needs oxegen tickets!
86.
July 2, 2009
4:32 pm
OK to begin with everyone entering the festival would have to remove their clothes and be given on entry; a towel (for decency –optional) a roll of downy soft toilet paper, a personal plastic orb for crowd surfing and a can of bubbles.
To get from stage to stage a series of giant catapults would be erected around the festival so as to avoid the laborious task of walking between stages, one would simply sit it into one of the 10 mammoth contraptions state their intended destination and be hurled forward at great speed, a giant net would await them on their arrival back on terra firma, a series of traffic lights would be in operation to avoid mid-air collisions. Tandem journeys would be encouraged. This method could also be used on Monday morning when exiting the venue as an alternative to Dublin Bus
Nothing will clash throughout the day, cold beer would be included in the price of the tickets and fresh flowers would be replenished in every portaloo on site each day.
The sun will be shining, a gentle breeze will blow through the campsite and everyone will be happy.
The Rebirth of Cool Stage
12:30 Bob Marley and the Wailers featuring, The Sirens from the Odyssey. Odysseus had to cover his ears or be lured to a watery grave by these luresome gals, so they must have been pretty darn good. Bob blasts off the day with Could this be love. The ladies doing their thang. Before long the stage is filled with people in plastic sphere’s lured to the hypnotic sounds emanating from the front
14:30 A bit of Some Sweet Lovin – The newly formed quartet of Dusty Springfield, Marvin Gaye, Ernest Ranglin and Charlie Mengus gently funk things up. Marvin, Ernest Charlie brining some soul to the thing while Dusty licks us all over with her voice. mmmm mmmmmmm
16:30 The Smiths – Eh, This is Fantasy festival promoter right?
18:01 The Priests – Just in time for the Angelus, the three priests would descend on a cloud from above the stage singing Ave Maria, halo’d up, mic’d up, then after a forty minute set which would include, God is a dj, an a doo wop version of He’s got the whole world in his hands and a rap version of RATM’s Killing in the name of, they would ascend to the celestial backstage party for some Tea and custard creams.
16:30 Lady Gaga and the Bad Seeds – Old Nick and the Young Lady….. it can’t work……… it must work…….. it would be funny to see.
Dead Can Dance stage
20:00 Orbital Vs Beethoven – Live set. The Hartnoll Brothers open with a Thunderous version of Satan, a laser glassed up Beethoven flies down a giant white slide in a white silk suit landing in front of a Grand Piano to complete one of the most hotly anticipated duets in experimental music history.
22:00 Happy Mondays but instead of the psychotropically induced Duracell bunny that is Bez, we have a resurrected Whacko Jacko doing the Moon walk and other crowd pleasers as Shwan Ryder blasts his way through 24hr party people. OK, Shaun Ryder’s not dead, but bloomin beejeepers shouldn’t he be?
Planet Earth Stage
21:30 The Flaming lips featuring the The Max Rebo band from Return of the Jedi – It is only fitting that Wayne and the lads get their chance to play with real Aliens. Max has never played earth before and is all pumped up for this one. They were good enough for Jabba the Hutt and if there’s one thing old Jabba knows it’s his Ortolon free Jazz.
Main Stage
23:00 The Kings of Leon with The King himself, Elvis Presley – The King enters the building, well the festival, shakes those hydraulic hips of his, the crowd swoon, the Followill boys break into Sex is on fire, Elvis on vocals, halfway through, Jimmy Mofo Hendrix walks out, white Stratocaster strung upside down, blazing away. The air itself catches fire.
12:00 the Beatles
Ah the Fab four back together again. They play for three hours; everyone sits down holding hands, candles aloft, singing their hearts out while John finishes the set with an earth moving version of Imagine.
Oh yeah Hot pants are optional.
Comment by Donal
87.
July 2, 2009
4:57 pm
1.Muse headlining, cos Matt Bellamy’s like some kind of guitar yielding space age wizard. And they’d have those massive balloons and satellites and smoke machines that they had at Marlay Park last year, those were ripping it up.
2.Dinosaur Jr. and their pure, raw band skill, dude. They have a couple big festival tunes, too, which would go down real well, and they’re probably even better live than on record.
3.Beck, because, man, it’s Beck. Making folktronica cool. Basically he just needs to play, such is his awesomeness.
4.The Killers, they have massive songs and everybody knows all the words, so they’re a good band because everybody’d sing along. They’d definitely be rocking the main stage.
5.Placebo, they have awesome tunes, ‘Pure Morning’ and all, and Brian Molko’s a bit fo a Ledge.
6.Queens Of The Stone Age, they’re immense and Josh Homme’s THE MAN.
7.Arcade Fire because I didn’t get to their Electric Picnic gig.
8.The Prodigy for some hardcore dance!
9.Hot Chip for some infectious tunes to get everybody moving.
10.Shy Child to get everybody pumping, cos every festival needs some techo and they have
hypnotic rhythms to put a smile on everybody’s faces.
Comment by GoldenBrown
88.
July 2, 2009
5:52 pm
1. Led Zeppelin - Miraculously young and ressurected for this concert only…they refuse to sign autographs.
2. Thin Lizzyy - Phil would rise on a podium from thick smoke on stange and break into the opening riff in Jailbreak.
3. Foo fighters - just because.
by now it would be dark and people are tired, Dj set would begin.
4. Tiesto and Benni Benassi
5. Calvin Harris and deadmau5
as everyone begins to leave red hot chilli perppers appear on stage for 3 final songs.
Comment by Eamonn
89.
July 2, 2009
5:56 pm
Goodness, if i could see all the below acts in one day, think i would be happy, afterall variety is the spice of life!
Bob Marley – the one act that everyone wishes they had witnessed
Fat Boy Slim – He knows how to pump up the volume
Bruce Springsteen – a classic in this time
Razorlight – as they’ve got quite a few good tunes to get the crowd going
Micheal Jackson – what a fitting tribute that would be
Lily Allen - for a bit of feminity
Director – to slowly build up the Rock n Roll atmosphere
The Pogues – as lets face it, an Irish festival need sa bit of Irishness!
Jack Johnson - to ease us gently into the day
Comment by Shinuke
90.
July 2, 2009
5:57 pm
1. Dan Deacon plays in a campsite, running in and out of tents to wake festival goers up for the day ahead.
2. Tired eyed people make their way to the mainstage area where, in the middle of the crowd to be Lightning Bolt inject some Noise Rock addled life to proceedings.
3. While Lightning Bolt rip it up amongst the crowd, David Byrne is attatching bells, bits of Wavin pipe and whatever he can get his hands on to an organ, on which he literally “plays the stage”, and then proceeds to blast out Talking Heads hits. (Hopefully not on self-made instrument)
4. Mogwai then take the stage with the string section of Godspeed You! Black Emperor and a young Robert Plant on vocals. This band is given the shortest set of the day for fear of what may happen when they’re put together…
5. The Clash then wake everyone up after the Mogwai jam, and as an encore Joe Strummer smashes his guitar over Billy Joe Armstrong’s head.
6. An acoustic set from Rory Gallagher brings a sense of calm to proceedings after The Clashes explosive set.
7. Jon Snow (where’d I get that idea?!) then hosts a debate on file sharing with the four FORMER owners of the Pirate Bay and big shots from the IFPI, everyone gets confused by legal jargon so Snow “busts a few rhymes” with his “homie” DJ Shadow accompanying him on beats.
8. Yo La Tengo & animal Collective play one long Psychadelic jam and the do encores of one covering one of the others’ songs.
9. Nick Drake and a very young John Martyn play a secret set in a location only those lucky enough to find such beauty witness.
10. Jimi Hendrix, John Bohnam, John Entwhistle and Michael Jackson end the evening with a selection of their personal favourites from each others previous acts as well as their dream covers.
Comment by Dónal
91.
July 2, 2009
7:41 pm
Lineup:
Adam Ant singing Stand and Deliver (Some Oxegen tickets, please)
Abba singing Gimme Gimme Gimme (some Oxegen Tickets, please)
Blondie singing Don’t Keep Me Hanging On The Telephone (Waiting for Oxegen tickets)
The Smiths singing Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want (Oxegen Tickets)
The Bee Gees singing Tradgedy (If I don’t win Oxegen Tickets)
Jeff Buckley singing Hallelujah (If I won Oxegen Tickets)
Muse singing Feeling Good (After Winning some Oxegen Tickets)
Jean Michel Jarr singing (Yippee) Oxygen
And a final special guest appearence by Clint Eastwood: ‘Go ahead and make my day’.
Comment by Oxegen's Biggest Fan
92.
July 2, 2009
8:48 pm
Good Evening, Jim, and thanks for this great opportunity to win Oxegen tickets, as I’d love to go, but haven’t yet been.
Right, first off, festival tickets would be free, and although that mightn’t be very financially viable, it would mean that anyone who wanted to could come down and witness some amazing musical entertainment.
And it’d be well signposted, to avoid people missing the right turn off and spending five hours in the car trying to find it again. Good Times.
To avoid all that trekking and wading through mud, everybody would be given their very own segway at the entrance, to zoom around on during the festival, and could return it at the end. And they’d be given free wellies too, beach balls for the crowd to throw around in between acts, and disposable waterproof ponchos. Becuase everybody needs a waterproof poncho. And they’re not just practical; they also make for a fetching fashion statement. Ahem.
Anyhow, there’d be all the usual festival fixtures; people painted blue wearing cowboy hats and those dressed up like yetis, flower children and a few confused looking types who were obviously promised the chance to see Westlife or some act of similarly oustanding musical calibre. And plenty of people waving nonsensical slogan flags to block out your view of the stage. Becuase at least you can sit on somebodys shoulders. Although that probably shouldn’t be attempted while on your new segway. There’d be a fun fair too, with a carousel and big wheel, a spoken word and comedy arena, and a Body & Soul area for all the hippies in the crowd. And wigwams instead of tents; they’re much cooler.
So, on to the music. After deliberating about the lineup, I’ve gone for some new artists, all live and plausible, who I think would make for a fantastic festival.
First up, setting everybody up for a day of musical delights, would be Florence and The Machine; they’re a right laugh live, everybody’d watch on in anticipation to see what Florence was wearing. She might even come onstage in a unicorn or something, gently strumming a harp. Also, there’d be the added advantage of the crowd being covered in glitter form the remainder of the day. Litterally head to toe. Because I’d imagine there’d just be streams of glitter from the stage.
Little Boots would be up next, with some pop gems, and God knows what she’d be wearing either, because at Glastonbury it was a Jedi Cape. Anyhow, her performance would encompasse some Bjork-esque brilliance.
La Roux would follow, continuing on the female solo artists. If she could fit that massive quiff onstage, that is. It’d be a mega eighties revival with the coolest redhead since, oh, I don’t know, Mick Hucknall. Possibly even cooler.
Patrick Wolf would be rocking it out for the guys, and as with the ladies, his outfit would surely be as much of a spectacle as his performance. He’d ride up on a black stallion, looking like some crazy folk artist knight, and probably fitted out in a suit of armour or something equally bizarre.
Then Crystal Castles would be rocking it out as the equally crazy Alice Glass continued on with a tradition of some wild and raucous stage shows. The scaffolding better watch itself.
Micachu are on the bill, after their amazingggg new album, and because they’d inject a bit of fun. They might be playing a few weird instruments, though. Vaccuum cleaners, anyone?
Passion Pit would be bringing some sunny stoner vibes to the place, with some tastefully post modern avant garde tunes to keep us all entertained.
Buraka Som Sistema would add some Kuduro spice to the line up, and would make for a massive party, Portugese style.
Laura Marling could cover the acoustic side of things, in what I’m sure would make for a beguiling performance.
Finally,New York’s coolest exports, Yeah Yeah Yeahs would headline, with the awesome Karen O ending the whole thing in a blaze of Rock and Roll glory.
Now That’s a festival I’d like to go to.
Comment by Alice Practice
93.
July 2, 2009
10:08 pm
Top Question. I think we have mulled this one over at every festival!
Ok so nice start to the day with a mix of classic and cheese
1. Kylie and Jason (each get a few songs and end with The Duet)
2. Original lineup from The Committments
3. Simon & Garfunkel
Ok so after lunch, pee and a pint:
4. No Doubt
5. The Blues Brothers (original lineup)
6. Sting and the Police
7. Blur
Then to finish off what looks to be top day
8.Radiohead
9.Beastie Boys
10. Elvis
Comment by eil
94.
July 2, 2009
11:12 pm
OHHHH if i could only get a festival together with my choices! ha Brilliant!
(1) ZIG and ZAG
( i like to move it move it…!!! I think i would wet my self from laughing)
(2) Jimi Hendrix-
(3) Audioslave-
(4) Rage against the Machine-
(absolutly brilliant at oxygen last year)
(5) Red Hot Chili Peppers-
Ive never seen them live, dont think I will die Happy If I dont get to see them! and they must be wearing suitable atire- sock….only! he he)
(6) Luke Kelly
(7) Snow Patrol
(9) The Prodigy
(10) The Pogues
theres so many more I could add to that ! I have to say I was so impressed with the Pogues last year, it was my first time seeing them and I really thought Shane McGowan gave an amazing live show.
thanks!
Comment by Roseanna
95.
July 2, 2009
11:24 pm
If only!!!
(im sorry if this posted twice!)
(1) Zig and Zag! (Zigaman (cause hes a wicked alien Lover !) and Zigamuffin!!)
(2) Jimi Hendrix
(3) Bob Marley
(4) Snow Patrol
(5) Red Hot Chili Peppers( socks on cocks! oh yeh)
(6) Audioslave
(7) The Pogues
(8) Luke Kelly
(9) Rage Against the Machine
(10) The Hives
Thanks!
Comment by Roseanna
96.
July 2, 2009
11:55 pm
And that is that
Thanks to everyone for entering. The competitiion is now closed - winner will be announced here tomorrow
Comment by Jim Carroll
97.
July 3, 2009
1:58 pm
WE HAVE A WINNER!
It has taken me most of the morning to read them all hence the delay
The winner of Fantasy Festival Promoter 2009 is……
Quint (43)
Congrats dude, email on its way to you.
And HUGE thanks to everyone for entering - I really didn’t expect that many entries at all.
Comment by Jim Carroll

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