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  • irishtimes.com - Posted: February 1, 2010 @ 7:07 pm

    Future’s so bright I’ve gotta wear shades

    Hugh Linehan

    Behold Bertie Ahern watching his beloved Man U trashing the Gooners in glorious 3D yesterday, courtesy of those astute marketing people at Sky, who pitched up in Fagan’s with their fancy new gear and two sackfuls of cheap plastic specs. Lends a whole new resonance to the phrase ‘Drumcondra Mafia’.


    I’m a bit sceptical about this whole 3D thing, partly because, as a monocular person, it just doesn’t work on me. Check back in five years’ time, and you can laugh at my confident assertion that it was all just a silly fad, like the talkies and stereo sound. What was wrong with two dimensions anyway? And while you’re at it, bring back black and white.

    It all makes business sense, I suppose: not only do the higher ticket prices charged for 3D films make for bigger box office returns for the movies, as Screenwriter has pointed out; the technology also allows the major movie studios to differentiate themselves from cheap, pirated content and to maintain the notion of the cinema as the prime place to enjoy a new film. So yes, the next instalments of the tedious Harry Potter series will come in the new format. The inevitable Avatar imitations are presumably already in  pre-production.

    But sport? Seeing Andrei Arshavin’s little head bulge out of a  screen  would be in no way life-enhancing. If this thing spreads, you can see how it might help with a few types of programme (great for weather forecasts), but be downright scary with others (Charlie Bird! Is in your house!)

    • says:

      Is he practicing his role as an Artiste now he is claiming the tax exemptions?
      He is up there with Silvio but despite Sarky’s obviously deficiencies he is head and shoulders above this lad ;o)

    • dealga says:

      Seeing Andrei Arshavin’s little head bulge out of a screen in celebration if he’d scored one of his many gilt-edged chances, sickening Man Yoo fans in the process, would have very much enhanced my life. Ah well

    • ciaran says:

      bring back black and white indeed!

      oh, what a surprise choice Fagan’s was!

      what paper is it that Bertie writes for again…?! (wonder if he gets an artists exemption for the column as well as ‘de buk’?)…

    • Blimey O'Riley says:

      @1 …wondered where you’d got to… .Berlusconi? Sarkozy? mid life menopausal men little Napoleons with their trophy silicon (ahem) ‘babes’… Eeeugh! I’ve always preferred tall men to myself… they’ve got nothing to prove… are you still being held Prisoner 127 0.0.1? Oh! by the by: practiCe noun… practiSe verb ;-)

    • tears of a Klown says:

      Maybe we could get real drips of salty water falling into our laps as he does his next Bryan Dobson interview too.

    • kynos says:

      If we could get Oireachtas Report in 3-D maybe I could patch it into my copy of Quake Arena. That would be a lot of fun.

    • says:

      noted ;o)

    • Kynos says:

      Mustn’t have been that good if he fecked off after three minutes watching was it the altered PeRspeCtive or just that Man U. were CRaP Bertie?

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