Mechanical Turk

You make life a fairy tale… Grimm

November 23, 2009 @ 7:14 pm | by Hugh Linehan

‘I don’t know about you but whenever I read a blog I do not let my eye drop below half the screen in case I accidentally hit the bit where the comments reside. Of all the stinking, sliding, scuttling, weird, entomological creatures that inhabit the floor of the internet those comments on blogs are the most unbearable, almost beyond imagining.’

Er… come back please. That wasn’t me or my evil twin speaking. It was Stephen Fry (yes, I know, I know), well known ’twillionaire’, sez the Guardian, who recently almost committed ‘twitticide’.

Surely the most disturbing aspect of the rise of Twitter is the nauseating, meaningless, infantile punning (twunning, if you will) it has spawned. The immortal words of John Cooper Clarke spring to mind: ’No one has a good word for you - I have…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-aVtKEhpO0&rel=0

‘.

12 Comments »

November 24, 2009
12:41 am

Never even been to a Twitter website. Just doesn’t call me. Bought me mobile in 2005 in Shanghai lovely little keyboard flip for texting nokia 6820 the only twittering it does is the hinges creaking fits the car cradle not paying 200 quid to change that for any new phone I’ve a spare for when I lose it but I haven’t lost it yet. Just can’t see the point in telling the world every bit of shite that’s happening to you. Beckett saw the fascination of the masses for the banal I read somewhere. So did the Nazis. Others too. The Big Brother producers.

Comment by kynos

November 24, 2009
12:42 am

Nothing like irony i guess.

Comment by kynos

November 24, 2009
1:46 pm

“T’weeple” is the worst one.

The whole t’ prefix grates me like nothing else - it’s an excellent, simple and effective tool when put to good use - but awfully named.

Comment by Mark

November 24, 2009
11:34 pm

these are quite apt at summing the whole twitter mess up

http://current.com/items/89891774_twouble-with-twitters.htm

http://current.com/items/90032288_celebrity-twitter-overkill.htm

Comment by paul m

November 25, 2009
4:10 pm

I Hate Twitter so much! Why would I care about what people are doing ? My life is exciting enough ,thanks. (but I love Blog :), especially my One )

Comment by Karine Smith

November 26, 2009
8:41 pm

The site of the Twittering classes means very little to me but I love John Cooper Claaarke…remember seeing him on London Bridge Station once he was incredibly tall and thin …probably still is…and very stylish…the late ’70’s early 80’s was a highly charged time politically in London lots of subversive music theatre even comedy…’alternative’ before ‘alternative’ became a pejorative term. Clubs like the Comedy Store above Raymond Revue Bar in Soho…very dodgy… where I first saw Alexei Sayle perform ‘Hello John got a new motor?’ complete in pork pie hat and slightly too tight two tone 50’s style suit…Nostalgia ain’t what it used to be eh?…Check out ‘Beezley Street’ for a slightly darker but equally brilliant side of the Clarkster…using the www perhaps…

Comment by TweetTweet

November 27, 2009
1:22 am

Would be more interested in Twitter if it was called Squawk.

Comment by kynos

November 27, 2009
7:26 am

Its really a very nice post to read and an awesome experience watching the video shared in this post.
ration packs

Comment by ration packs

November 27, 2009
11:55 pm

Yirrah if Stephen Fry doesn’t like it maybe he needs to tighten up on the old sensitive feelings. Comments on comments boards contain more than their fair share of illiteracy but that’s about the only sin I’ll judge them for. The only unforgiveable bb sin for me. A sin against the Holy ghost you might say. Blasphemy. Against the language. Yet committed by the ignorant. Who is anyone to judge the ignorant? In judging they become unjust, knowing better than they. Hmm. Where’d that come from

Comment by kynos

10.

December 1, 2009
3:03 am

“The twats have all got ricketts/They spit through broken tweet”

Well done for putting JCC (60) in the public eye. Should be done as often as possible really. Thanks. Came across a “Culture Show” interview with him from earlier this year and his age suddenly seemed to scan for the first time. A sad realisation. Young Fry missed out by not being in a late 1950s TV version of “William the Conqueror” and having to wait then until “Jeeves”.

Comment by Shock-headed Peadar

11.

December 1, 2009
6:00 am

Although some people, maybe millions, offer up banal crap — i’m eating a sandwich! / I’m really hungover / learning the chords to Beyonce’s new single!, etc — all day long and yes celebrities dish out all sorts of tedious crap too for the benefit of adoring fans — @ Andy Murray: great game last night, now I’m off for Sushi! — it doesn’t matter if you don’t follow them.

I admit the twitter terminology is rather grating but as someone working in media, I can see twitter has it uses. If you build a list of people to follow who are offering up worthy links, updates, etc, it’s extremely useful. I look at one page and see links and updates that are relevant to my job and interests — also I admit whimsical youtube vids from friends are also posted, but that’s handy enough, as you don’t HAVE to click on it (like you would open an email only to realise it’s just a silly link you don’t have time for…).

Similarly, if you’re running a business it serves as a promotional tool — as long as you have lots of followers.

You don’t have to follow “the masses” — or read the Twits’ tweets?

Just ‘cos you don’t know how to use it effectively, or want to learn how it might have its uses, doesn’t mean its a waste of time.

Comment by Teddy

12.

December 6, 2009
11:16 am

Johnny Claaarke…’the voice behind the hairstyle’…Having taken my own advice, always a sound plan I find, I re-visted ‘Beezley Stree’t (I’ve taken the liberty of spelling it in a Salford accent) only to find it has received an Urban renewal grant had a face lift (or loft) and is now ‘Beasley Boulevard’. Bloody hell! Chicken Town however has descended into further Urban decay…and what was ‘Bloody s****’ is now ‘F***in’ awful…Still sneering snarling and snappily attired at 60, the Clarkster is on tour in 2010…but don’t tell everyone!

Comment by Tweeta