John Ryan had his heart set on moving to Thailand when he graduated as a teacher in 2004. Eight years later, he is married with two sons in Brunei, where he works short hours, has a good salary and long holidays.
John with his wife and sons in Ko Lanta, Thailand in 2011
A large monkey jumped onto the railing outside our window yesterday. He brandished his canines and hit us with a longing look. In search of some free food again. He fled as my son spotted him and let out a high-pitched scream in his direction.
I now live in Brunei Darussalam. The literal translation is “the Abode of Peace”. It certainly is peaceful and lends itself to a slow paced lifestyle. It’s surrounded by the Malaysian state of Sarawak and has a population of about 400,000. Brunei is a dry country so, lamentably, no Irish pubs here to drink the homesick blues away.
In 2004, after completing my teacher training, I left Ireland. I did send off a few wishful applications for jobs but received no replies. Regardless, I had my heart set on moving back to Asia where I had spent 6 months travelling previously.
The spectre of economic collapse was an infant speck on the distant horizon at that stage. The age of excess was in full fertile flow. I grew up on a farm in Tipperary and wasn’t really used (as I suppose many of us weren’t) to the vast amounts of cash being thrown about willy-nilly by all and sundry. Teaching wasn’t exactly going to provide me with the resources to join in the Celtic feast either. So, on the plane with me.
Bangkok was to be my home for the next 5 years. The usual perception of the city is a chaotic, smelly mess peppered with ping-pong shows and annoyingly persistent vendors. That is true to some extent. However, as with most places, once you actually live there long enough it does warm to you and reveal it’s secrets.
My first job was as a freelance corporate instructor. Basically, I would hop in a taxi and go out to companies to teach employees basic English. It was an interesting way to get to know the people and their language. Thai is a disarmingly easy language to learn and my students reveled in the opportunity to hone my fledgling pronunciation.
I met my wife to be at the end of my first year. On my yearly visit home I recall showing her picture to my family. A bit of exotic Thailand on a damp Tipp afternoon.
My next job was in the Japanese International School in eastern Bangkok. We moved into a large condo nearby. Nights were spent gazing out on the migrant workers in their tin shacks below and the garish neon lights of the massage parlour stip beyond. The gulf between the haves and have-nots becomes much more apparent after a while. The affluent Thais would roll out of their massive gated houses in their locally produced (but export taxed) Mercs and Beemers on the way to one of the many luxury malls. Meanwhile the up-country Thais would be struggling home after working another 14 hour day on a construction site. All for another 4 euro in the bank. This disparity was/is the root of most of the discontent bubbling beneath the surface of the famed Thai smile. The recent red shirt battles in downtown Bangkok and the occupation of Suvarnabhumi are part of that. The latest flooding debacle will only serve to agitate the situation more I fear.
The holidays were superb and we managed to visit the Thai islands on numerous occasions along with several road trips up north to Chiang Mai and the Burmese/Laos borders. Cambodia, Malaysia, Philippines, Vietnam, Hong Kong, Singapore, Indonesia and Australia all within a few hours. Certainly beats the yearly holiday we used to take to Kerry.
The Thai GAA were hosting the Asian Gaelic Games in 2009. The Irish community in Bangkok didn’t really have a focus before but the GAA served to bring a good crowd of us together. I was more suited to the hurling but gave the football a go. Managed to get our photo taken with Mícheál Ó Muircheartaigh in the team hotel. That made my Dad smile.
With the birth of my first son, Seán, we started to think about moving elsewhere with a more stable society and better teaching salaries. I looked at Hong Kong but the cost of living seemed too high. Eventually I found out about Brunei and decided to send off a furtive application. It was a bit of a struggle to find any information on the internet on the living conditions there but, from the little I gathered, it seemed to fit the bill nicely. High salary, short working day (7.30 – 12.30), good holidays, safe environment and international school for the kids.
While not as liberal as Thailand, the Bruneian people are very friendly and I have no regrets about moving here. It is a strictly Muslim country but other religions are tolerated and you can drive over the border to Malaysia to have a few scoops whenever you please. I’ve signed on for another 2-year contract and assume we’ll be here for a few more years after that.
Ireland is a distant plan at the moment. I do feel regret that my sons aren’t with their grandparents or able to play on the farm as they grow up. However, I also know that we would be taking a major step down in quality of life if we moved back now.
As I said to my Dad “We’ll see in another 5 years”.
Very interesting article like all others in this series. But, I’m getting really tired of this series now – the whole world is a paradise and Ireland is a hopeless society with the rudest people and the most corrupt government on earth (ok, I’m exaggerating). But you know what is the most disappointing and upsetting comment I’ve read so far is John Ryan’s comment to his father :”We’ll see you in another five years”. Well, hope he’s in good health and is there when you come back to Ireland!! I’ve struggled here in the USA, but one thing I have done each and every year for the past twenty is go home to Dublin and Kerry. I and my children wouldn’t miss it for anything. Thanks.
Paul, I think you have misread John’s comment. He didn’t say he would see his father in five years’ time, he said he would “see” at that stage whether he would move back, I am sure he is coming back on holidays in the interim, like yourself.
He didn’t say “see you” in five years, the phrasing is significant.
Declan is right.
I’ve been home to Ireland every year for the past 7 years. When Seán was born we went back twice in the first year. I plan to go back regularly.
The perception of Ireland as a “hopeless society” with the “rudest people” is quite opposite to what I believe also. Whenever we go back I’m struck by how welcoming and open the people are. The hopelessness is there alright but so are the national passions for whinging and begrudgery! It’s isn’t the first time the Irish people have found themselves at the bottom of the economic ladder but I’m sure we’ll all climb back up towards the top eventually.
I know mates who head back 2 or 3 times a year, sometimes more. It was a good 2 years out before I first returned. Had to get it out of my system, I guess.
Now I try to return once a year. Family and friends, that’s the most important reason. The rest of it I can take or leave.
Rudest people? Pff, that’s mostly the domain of the proliferation of our uber pat internet warriors over the last decade or so… most people are as friendly as anywhere else, back home!
- message for John here
I’m from Derry 2 kids and also teach in Brunei- just moved here after 7 years in Vietnam. We live near Seria- drop us a line if you want -Neil
ntlynch72@yahoo.com
I know the feeling I set of over ten years ago and only planned on spending a year or two traveling.. But now I am happily living Asia with a lovely wife and a great daughter..
Seems to me to be Generation Whinge, all extolling the virtues of your sunshine prisons. The luxury of introspective complaint was not available to the Irish who went to England in the 1950′s.Discrimination was not uncommon , jobs were at a lower level,and many who left then still , if alive, have regrets. I can assure you that the gloss will soon wear off your exciting new life. Things change, people change, and everything that you disliked about the country that gave you birth , will be something that you want to return to.
Cheers Neil. I’ll be in touch.
Your perspective is far from lost on me Patrick. My uncle left home when he a bit younger than me. Started off in England before moving to the states (Minnesota) where he spent about 25 years. He had intended to come back to Ireland to retire but was diagnosed with cancer and passed away over there. I flew over for the funeral.
As for the “exciting new life” bit, well, the holidays are pretty sweet but daily life is quite mundane. Can’t skip down the pub or go to a gig with my mates. It’s just me and the family chilling at home usually. That is perfectly fine with me though. I had my fun in Thailand and just want to save a few squid now before coming back to Ireland.
I was listening to Liveline earlier and some lad was on bemoaning the fact that he couldn’t get a job even though he offered to work for free for a month. That kind of sums up the current situation in Ireland.
To Neil and John
I’m also:
- from Ireland (Roscommon)
- teach in Brunei
- have 2 kids
Hmmm… a few beers in the Orchid?
Cheers
vinnyshine@hotmail.com
Alright Viny,
I could possibly be persuaded!!
Will be in touch.
Far from “Generation Whinge”, it’s more like “Generation Opportunity”. Just like our forefathers.
Our emigrants come from all corners of Irish life, but all have one thing in common -trying to find an opening for themselves that isn’t available in Ireland right now.
I left when I couldn’t afford the celtic tiger house prices back in ’98. When the economic resurgence came back in the mid-2000s, I missed my chance again. That’s not to say Aussie didn’t treat me well, though it was never home.
Ireland held no economic attraction for me then -I couldn’t afford to get on the property ladder. And even less now. Times change and I’m settled in NZ, where the financial bi-polarity never seemed to happen -the ups & downs were less noticeable. We’re looking at buying a second property now. Jaysus.
Of course, I missed family & friends, as everyone does, but regular 36 hour journeys home kept the worst of it bay.
I loved my 12 years in Australia, but I always referred to Ireland as “home”. I feel that you’ve got to decide whether you’re here or there and get busy living your life. I’ve no intention of returning permanently to Ireland and New Zealand is home now.
” I can assure you that the gloss will soon wear off your exciting new life. Things change, people change, and everything that you disliked about the country that gave you birth , will be something that you want to return to.”
What, return to that kind of begrudgery and bitterness? I think not, Patrick. I know plenty of previous wave emigrants who came to London before us – and were made feel most unwelcome whenever they went home. Anecdotage, I realise but there’s truth in it.
Don’t get me wrong; I miss Ireland dearly. We were once lovers but these days, we’re just good friends. We’ve both changed.