Stephen Fraser with his wife Rachel on Mt Tamborine in Queensland
In our continued weekly series of emigrant interviews, Stephen Fraser describes his life in Brisbane, where he got a 12-month engineering contract, while his wife Rachel is staying in Ireland
RACHEL AND I were married in Dublin last December. We were home from honeymoon two months when the company I worked for as a maritime engineer offered me a 12-month contract in Brisbane, Australia. I had been involved with the redevelopment of Greystones Harbour, which was coming to an end, and opportunities were drying up in Ireland.
After a lot of soul searching, we decided it would be best for me to take up the offer and move to Australia for the year. Rachel is the principal of a national school, so she would stay at home.
In the days before my departure, I concentrated on jollying my wife and my mum along and was quite relaxed. But when I got to the airport, it all hit me. It was very hard to say goodbye. The last time I saw my father was in a hospital bed; he had a hip replacement the day before I left.
Once I arrived I was so consumed with settling in and starting the new job that I didn’t have much headspace left to pine for home. The company put me up for the first month in an apart-hotel and set me up with a relocation specialist who showed me around Brisbane and brought me to view apartments.
There were a few other Irish guys already working with the company, so it was good to talk to them too. It must be hard for people who arrive in a new city on their own.
I have found it tough to meet new people, though. There’s a lot of time to fill at weekends. Aged 32 and married, I am beyond going to an Irish bar on a Saturday night. I go for walks and shopping trips and do some long-distance running. I go to church every Sunday and chat to people there. When the rugby season starts again I’ll join a club and start training, and hopefully meet new people through that.
Professionally, the move has been hugely positive. There is a natural resources boom in Australia, so I have been working on exciting projects related to the extraction of liquefied natural gas in a place called Gladstone in central Queensland. They are massive, multi-million-dollar projects, the likes of which are non-existent in Ireland at the moment.
This is the career opportunity of a lifetime.
Apart from a working holiday in Chicago as part of a J1 during college, I never did much travelling. This year has let me experience another part of the world. I’ve snorkelled on the Great Barrier Reef, hand-fed kangaroos, visited Sydney Opera House and made an impulsive decision to nip across the Tasman to Auckland for 30 hours to watch the Ireland versus Australia match during the Rugby World Cup.
Rachel and Stephen in the Olympic Stadium in Sydney at the Australia v South Africa rugby match
Luckily, Rachel’s job allows her to travel. She stayed with me for the summer, and I am just back from a week with her in Hong Kong during her midterm break. I’ll be able to come home for a few weeks at Christmas, too, to spend time with my family.
I love Dublin and I miss a quiet pint after work on a Friday evening. I miss my parents and sisters, but I miss Rachel the most. We talk for about half an hour every morning on Skype, but being able to talk to your wife – your best friend and partner in life – only through a computer is really hard. I flew back from Hong Kong last week after spending 24 hours a day with her for a week, and it was very lonely.
We had always planned to enjoy being married for a while before starting a family, but the move has thrown our plans off course. We don’t know when things are going to get better in Ireland.
Each morning I log on to The Irish Times website to see what stories have made the front page.
When the news is good, you smile and think this could all be over in six months; there are also days when you realise it could take three years or longer.
The 12-month limit on my assignment may be extended next year. I would love to be able to go home next April, but I doubt there will be work in Ireland for me.
Of the 20 or so college friends I keep in touch with, fewer than a quarter are still employed in engineering in Ireland. Many have emigrated; others have changed careers.
The economy was a big stress in my life when I was in Ireland, but I have been able to let go of that worry since moving. It would be easy to play the blame game, to point the finger at bankers and politicians, but that won’t get me anywhere. I am here to work and get on with my life as best I can, and hope that it won’t be too long before I can come back to Ireland to my wife and family again.
– In conversation with CIARA KENNY
Great article Stephen! Myself and my fiancé live in Bris if you fancy catching up for a brew
What a lovely gesture from “BrisbaneIrish” … Hope you get to meet up and alleviate those feelings of loneliness. Ireland is missing people like you.
Ciara, thanks to you and the Irish Times for giving us a platform and opportunity to tell our stories. There are so many Irish people trying to work their way out of the difficulties they have found themselves in, and all they want to do is come home. It is testament to the Irish spirit and work ethic that so few of us are content to sit at home and wait for the solution to come along. Best of luck with the rest of the series
Stephen, I understand it must be difficult for you being away from your wife and the life ye had together. But things could be a lot tougher. I emigrated to Sydney alone, my boyfriend at the time wasn’t willing to move. I had to find a job, an apartment and make friends all by myself. I didn’t have anyone to show me around the city or put me up. I didn’t have a relocation specialist or a company who put me up temporarily. I had to fund everything myself. And in the mid 2000’s, Skype wasn’t popular so i only had the phone available to chat to family and friends. Unlike you, i didn’t have the love of my life waiting for me at the other end of the phone. It was a very lonely life to start with and the homesickness never goes away. I know it is difficult but it could be worse.
Although I am very sympathetic to anyone who has lost their job in the recession I was quite annoyed reading this actually, it seemed to be a lifestyle choice more than anything else. Nice principals’ salary and long holidays affording her the luxury of being able to stay with her husband during the Irish summer term in Australia and other midterms spent in far flung places such as Hong Kong. Why didn’t she apply for the visa and go with her husband? at least then they would be together. My aussie husband with Irish citizenship returned home to Australia last Christmas after being out of work for 9 months. We were together 5 years and married only 6 months. I saw him ONCE this year for a period of 4 weeks (our 1st year wedding anniversary) where he flew back to Ireland. I will be following him out this Christmas as my visa has come through after a 6 month wait leaving two aging parents in cancer remission behind. Neither of us had the extensive holidays or financial resources to meet like these two did. Perhaps if I was on a cosy principal’s salary he would have been able to stay in Ireland. We only applied mid year for my visa as it took him 6 months to obtain employment in a so called “Booming” economy in Western Australia. He is MBA educated. (I am also a skilled professional and over 30 hence the long visa process). Yes the economy is booming but in the service industry they are very particular about Australian centric experience. By no means am I saying woe is me, but to be perfectly honest there are more horrific stories of hardship and reasons for emigration affecting many others out there.
@Allison and @Fiona Thanks for your comments.
One of the things Stephen said during the course of the interview was that he knew there were people far worse off than him. Nobody forced him to move, it was a choice he and his wife made together. I know he also feels lucky for the assistance he received while settling into Brisbane.
For many emigrants who have shared their stories on the site so far, money is not necessarily the most important motivator – having a full time job, for a variety of reasons, is vital to their sense of self-worth, and for their career prospects in the future.
Stephen’s experience is one that is shared by others who have left Ireland recently, and while it may not be the “worst” story of emigration, it is interesting for others to read about him leaving his wife behind and living alone on the other side of the world.
We are aiming to show all sides to the emigration experience on Generation Emigration, not necessarily the most “horrific”. This is reflected in the many positive stories of voluntary emigration that have been shared so far on the site, as well as the experiences of people who have had a harder time of it.
Best of luck to both of you.
HI – Stephen and Rachael’s story rings a bell and is now a well-worn mantra. I have done the emigrant trail THREE times now since 1990 . In early 90’s me and Missus went to Saudi Arabia for seven years and did well financially on this one even though we left friends, family and parents behind. It was tough but it had to be done as we were going nowhere in Ireland both in part tiem jobs unable to get a mortgage .
In 2002 I immigrated to Kuwait as my job was in the oil sector and this was very limited in Ireland. This was extremely tough as I had to leave the Missus and the kids behind it was pre Skype , but with regular trips home we managed it and came home again in 2005
In 2010 I lost my job in Cork and Hi ho off we went again back to Kuwait and the same oil company again , thank you KJO. However this time it was the Missus , kids and the cat in tow . The Kids settled into international schools and the Cat settled on the sofa . Looking at things in ireland now and the Budget and paying for the excess of others it looks like we will see the most of our time out here now. The kids are hanging out with kids from diplomatic families and kids from 15 countries, they have school trips to Thailand and meeting people from all over the world.
I guess you could call us veterans now and easily slid back to our old routine in Kuwait but for those of you thinking of stepping up to emigrate then dont think twice – just do it , you have nothing to lose – look on it as an adventure , your fore fathers had done it succussfully in the UK in 50’s , USA in 60’s and now unfortunately its our turn in the 21st century . I know it’s tough to leave people behind especially when you have small kids . But our advise is make the most of your new place, get into the culture of the place, and get into sports and clubs and meet new people and groups. The kids will settle in a new place , what with school buddies ,sports, sleep overs, parties and the like so don’t worry too much about them settling in – they will. For those who are homesick, my advise is to settle on a date to return to Ireland on holiday as soon as you can , put in the calendar with a big X so you have something to aim for and then try to fill your time around that.
The Irish are in a great position as we as a people are accepted warmly wherever we go; we are one of the best educated and skilled peoples who haven’t caused too much trouble around the world (like some other people) and are seen as warm friendly with an excellent work ethic and topped off wioth a fast wit .
So don’t look on your pending emigration as a sad event, rather think of it as an opportunity to provide a better life choice for you and your family. It will be tough and you will have some tear filled days but this will pass. Who know your kids could be immigrating back to Ireland in years to come with true international experience and maybe pay for their mum and dads retirement – some chance of that!!
Be good and be brave