Weekend special: the IFTAs (esp Fassbender)
Honestly, I wonder what my life has come to when the highlights of my Saturday night are seeing Michael Fassbender standing beside Michael D Higgins and being asked by a drunk woman in Tesco if it has “any good bargains”. …
Honestly, I wonder what my life has come to when the highlights of my Saturday night are seeing Michael Fassbender standing beside Michael D Higgins and being asked by a drunk woman in Tesco if it has “any good bargains”. FYI, Tesco always has “good bargains”. It’s hardly Fallon & Byrne. In any case, if you have a life you may not realise that the IFTAs were on tonight. I, on the other hand, am all too aware, and have done a handy fashion run-down for you.
Let’s start with an honourable mention, shall we? Sonya Lennon, once again, shows that she has no interest in dressing “sexy” (after the commercial break, we’ll link this point up with Rozanna Purcell’s satin number) and looks chic and oh-so Gatsby in this fringed knit number (Tim Ryan, perhaps?). Brendan’s tux is, well, a tux. Being a man must be so boring – apart from the obvious boons of avoiding menstruation, childbirth and the pressure to find a husband.
Ah, red. The early verdict says that Laura Whitmore may well be the best dressed female, which says a lot when she’s basically wearing some kind of shapeless scarlet sheath that could well have been bought in Topshop, save for its modest hemline – Topshop is, of late, not much of a fan of covering up. I don’t quite know who Aveen McCall (bottom right) is, and Google is not helping me, but her sequined number is doing nothing for me. Don’t get me wrong, it’s grand, and, to be fair, it doesn’t elicit the same kind of “meh” as Whitmore’s gown, but it is very typical, isn’t it? And then we have … Miriam.
Honestly, I love Miriam. I really do. I think she’s smart and funny and interesting and has embraced social media and seems like someone who would genuinely be lovely to hang out with. But she loves a V-neck and it reminds me of the 1980s, and the length of this dress is far too Mormon Bible for me. But I do like the red. Let’s move on!
Another RTÉ number now in Sinéad Kennedy, who I really admire for choosing a pattern, although I wish she’d chosen a colour – this palette just washes her out a bit, especially with her platinum crop. The stripe around her crotch also means I keep thinking I can see her pants, when I really (hopefully) cannot.
Charlene McKenna (bottom right), I never watched Raw, and honestly I don’t think I ever will because those TV ads make it look awful, but I really, really love your dress. Assymetric hemline, entirely unrevealing top, interesting shape! Brava, etc. I can’t even really talk about the rest of them – I mean, Rozanna Purcell was Miss Universe Ireland so I’m not entirely surprised but Kathryn Thomas, really? I expected more from her.
Another honourable mention for Dawn Porter, the future Mrs Chris O’Dowd (does anyone ever say that any more, Mrs Joe Bloggs?), for entirely ignoring the “full-length” stipulation on her ticket and looking fresh and young and – crucially – modern. That’s not to say that I wouldn’t have appreciated a slight move away from the black’n'glitter theme, or that it doesn’t look a little bit TV Now Awards-ish, but still. Props.
Doesn’t Lisa Fitzpatrick (centre) look divine? Slightly Grecian, very ethereal and spot on with the hair and accessories. It might be a shade on the bridal side, but I love it. (Someone please, please teach Niall Breslin how to pose on the red carpet.)
Lastly, old favourite, Amy Huberman. I would like to see another angle of this dress, perhaps when it doesn’t look quite so Dallas and Amy doesn’t look quite so afronted by the fact that there are cameras aiming in her direction. I’d like to see an angle where her breasts aren’t quite so pointy, where her earrings aren’t clip-on 1980s monstrosities and where she has – quite literally – let her hair down. Oh, and it’d be nice if someone had a photograph of her before she got into that unfortunate accident with the fountain pen.