Rosemary Mac Cabe

Hemlines, heels and haute couture – your daily dose

Kelly Brook’s newest underwear range for New Look

So, Kelly Brook is really not going anywhere fast. That’s the first bit of news I have to impart on this slightly grey Wednesday (which I thought was Thursday when I woke up and was quite pleased because that is …

Thu, Jan 19, 2012, 07:30

   

So, Kelly Brook is really not going anywhere fast. That’s the first bit of news I have to impart on this slightly grey Wednesday (which I thought was Thursday when I woke up and was quite pleased because that is one day closer to the weekend but no, alas, no, it is Wednesday). The second bit of news I have to impart is that Brook has released imagery from her newest New Look undies range and, well, it’s pretty good.

I think I might go and buy this set, even though the crotch reminds me of that Christina Aguilera album cover. But I forgive her. And I forgive Christina, because Stripped was by far her best album, and Loving me for me always makes me laugh, and I love Dirrty and remember how, when it played in the Soundhouse (any takers?!) I would drag my friend Emma up to dance and I would seriously think that I was the best dancer ever. That was before the TV ruined my illusions with shows such as Got to Dance and so on (and so forth).

This is also lovely, although I worry about how it’s pressing on her bosoms. Is that going to be flattering under clothes? I’m not sure.

This is my least favourite, but only because I don’t really see the point in suspenders. That said, a friend of mine wore hold-ups on a night out a week or so ago, and I wanted to marry her when I saw them, so maybe there is a point? My personal jury is out. Thoughts, please?

In other news, Kelly is currently on the cover of Glamour. But before you get all excited, let me save you the trouble: the eight things you should do in bed, you’ve probably already done (and they’re also quite boring, such as, laugh! Leave the lights on! etc); the free gym passes are not valid in the Republic of Ireland; you can have a happy body if you just stop thinking of it as a project and realise that nobody is looking at you / thinking about you / worrying about your rolls of fat, should you have them; and Victoria Beckham’s chic secrets,  not that Glamour admits this, are Botox in the balls of her feet, and no eating. That doesn’t sound like the happy body issue to me.

Yes, as I said, happy Wednesday. I’ll be in the bathroom, crying.

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