DON’T ACT LIKE YOU WOULDN’T BUY THIS
Those capital letters are equal parts for Ciara, who hates when I shout, and for Louis vs Rick, my favourite new thing on the internet. (My favourite old thing, obviously, is Cute Overload.) This amazing sweater is courtesy of Cocorosa, …
This amazing sweater is courtesy of Cocorosa, who found them. But it did make me think, what did Disney films teach me? (And, before you ask, this is totally fashion related, because Disney sells wedding dresses and wedding dresses are fashion and wasn’t Jasmine really the most fashionable of them all etc etc)
1. Singing is important. If you can’t sing, you’ll have to make do with cleaning your own house and you’ll be lonely for-evah. Plus, if you’re a really good singer you will eventually defeat Ursula the sea witch by singing at her. Or something. (Am I confused about my Disney films? Say it ain’t so.)
2. Life is unnerving for a servant who’s not serving. The next time your cleaner comes over and you feel tempted to make her a cup of tea – why is it that I insist on working for my cleaner? Seriously, I can’t sit still when she’s there. I’m all cups of tea and biscuits and long chats about life in Moldova – just don’t. She’s happier cleaning. Disney says so.
3. Without a man, you will be doomed to stay in your house and see and do nothing forever. Seriously, forevah-evah. Men can show you the world (shining, shimmering, splendid) and open your eyes! Without them, really, all you’ll do is obey daddy and be pretty. I know that’s all I’m doing until a man comes to rescue me.
4. He might be really, really mean to you – but he’ll come around. And when I say mean, I mean locking daddy up in a dungeon mean. Keeping you in his house as ransom for your ageing father and refusing to feed you unless you consent to eating at the table with him and making small talk. But don’t be scared; he’s a good guy, underneath it all.
5. Love will save the day. Seriously. I can’t find a link to that because, really, it’s in every Disney film you’ve ever seen. Happy Friday!