Things I just can’t get on board with: the Birkin
See now, you think this post is going to be all about how I hate the Birkin. And it might just be. But first, it’s going to be about saying hi, you know, checking in. Hai! How was your Easter? …
See now, you think this post is going to be all about how I hate the Birkin. And it might just be. But first, it’s going to be about saying hi, you know, checking in. Hai! How was your Easter? Mine was delightful, and I learned an important lesson: when your parents are away and you have no boyfriend worth mentioning (on that note, here’s why), you do not get any Easter eggs. Instead, you are forced to go to your parents’ house to, you know, check on things – if by check on things you take to mean steal vegetables (yes, really) and a single oversized bar of white chocolate from Aldi, for the love of all things holy, and to pet your cat.
Anyway obviously I digress, because this week’s “things I can’t get on board with” (will it become a regular feature? Who knows, and ain’t that why it’s so fun around here!) is all about the Hermès Birkin. (Are you impressed with how I can do a backwards fada? I’m a regular computer whizz over here.)
This orange crocodile Birkin bag from 2009 made £47,065 at a Christie’s auction in 2010 which actually might suggest that Birkins hold their value much better than, say, property or record collections, so perhaps they’re worth investing in after all? Just call me . . . well, you know, call me.
But anyway! I just can’t love it, and honestly, it’s not for want of trying. For example, I love spending money. Anyone who knows me will corroborate this fact. I started running recently, which is allegedly the world’s best free sport, and have somehow managed to turn it into an exercise in enthusiastic spending. Orthotics, sports massage, new runners, new kit (hello, wicking sweat away from my skin, duh) . . you name it, I’ve bought it. So it’s not the price of the Birkin that’s putting me off.
Not only do I love spending money, I love the episode of Sex and the City wherein Samantha becomes Lucy Liu’s publicist (where is Lucy Liu these days?) and name-drops her way to getting a Birkin ahead of the riff-raff, much to Lucy’s chagrin. Honestly I love it. I love how Samantha can’t lie. I’m a better liar than her, and I am a terrible liar. So the Birkin has interesting links in popular culture for me.
So what is it? I think, and this might be a bit petty, that it’s just a little bit too . . . boxy for me. It’s a little too classic in its almost-square-but-probably-still-rectangular shape. It’s a little too clean. Clean lines, clean hardware, and above all else, it has a short handle, which means there’s no way I could wear it while cycling. And if that ain’t a dealbreaker, honey, I don’t know what is.
What fashion must-haves do you have on your must-haven’t list? Share with the group, come on, we ain’t judgin’.