No, sorry, you’re not on it. I know, I know, I gave all the right signs – but really, lust?! Maybe mild infatuation or entertainment. Anyway, I’ve moved on.

Because nothing says “chic” like a waterproof S&M-style perspex mac. Honestly, nothing. You know what else says chic? $950, apparently – although it doesn’t seem to be on Net-a-Porter yet. Burberry, you break my heart.

Then these J Brand jeans would seriously make my wardrobe. I can imagine NOTHING that wouldn’t go with these babies, except perhaps my credit rating. They’re €250, which ain’t cheap – and do I really need more clothes? It’s unlikely. More importantly, do I need clothes worn by Kim Kardashian? No. No I do not.