In which Paul Galvin renders Fash Mob speechless
“Try something as simple as changing your regular shoe laces for neon ones and feel the difference.” Ah, Paul Galvin, Ireland’s answer to Tom Ford – or Andre Leon Talley, to be slightly more accurate – how you do brighten …
“Try something as simple as changing your regular shoe laces for neon ones and feel the difference.”
Ah, Paul Galvin, Ireland’s answer to Tom Ford – or Andre Leon Talley, to be slightly more accurate – how you do brighten up the dreariest of Mondays. (In my defence, I do not read the Independent as I am a snob – and because I work for The Irish Times, and read that, so I can impress my colleagues with my carefully observed, eh, observations, of a Monday morning. Someone keeps emailing me Galvin’s witterings, which I would otherwise be happily ignoring.)
This week, Galvin waxes lyrical about accessories, the items fashion cannot possibly ignore. It’s not a word men like, “accessories”, says Galvin. It belongs in the same bracket as “vulnerable” and “emotional”. I wonder: is Galvin helping or hindering the plight of man? Is it just me, or is there something gravely sexist about his opinings? Are there homophobic undertones to his insistence that men be “men”? (Obviously no! He loves everybody! He just wants men to feel comfortable doing girly things like accessorising!)
Galvin has a lot of interesting things to tell you, but in case you don’t want to lose 20 minutes of your life absorbing them, allow me to present you with a digest:
1. “The fashion world today is so ferociously competitive and fast that it’s almost impossible to stay in. We consume fashion so quickly that almost as soon as we buy an item it’s out. We have it, we own it and we have satisfied a certain desire within us.” (What, you may ask, has this to do with accessorising? Nothing! But, by golly, our Paul has opinions and, as he has a platform from which to share them, he will do so at will! Hurrah!)
2. Then, in case you were wondering, “I use a man bag when I’m travelling and I wear a cravat now and then, a pocket square with a suit, and a tie bar on my tie.” This information is very helpful, because I was just the other day having a chat with a friend wherein I said, and I quote, “I wonder what Paul Galvin carries when travelling, and whether he wears a cravat? Do you think he wears a pocket square when he’s wearing a suit? How does he feel about tie bars?” It’s quite uncanny.
3. “I’ve stopped wearing belts, and I don’t own a watch because I don’t like regiment and watches make me feel regimented. I like to guess the time.” I did not, on the other hand, have a conversation where I wondered about Paul’s feelings about time – BUT, and here is the crucial point, I have read many Jack Reacher novels, novels I suspect Paul has also read, wherein our hero, the long-suffering, eh, Jack Reacher, can tell the time in his head.
Now that’s quite enough of that – back to wondering what obscure Kerry footballers wear as formalwear, now that the mystery of Paul Galvin has been cleared up.
PS I am not bullying Paul Galvin. I just strongly dislike his column. I urge those of you who feel the same to, you know, stop reading it. And, for the love of God, stop sending it to me.