All Night Olympics »

• World exclusive: Gateshead is nothing like Brazil

  August 18, 2008 @ 5:55 am | by Seán Kenny

  01:12: All Night Olympics was putting in some overtime yesterday evening, watching RTE’s highlights programme. Yes, we know you worry we’re working too hard. We watched bashful analyst Eamonn Coghlan’s famed modesty shine through as he listed himself among a list of great and charismatic runners of yesteryear.

  01:32: Because the network’s employees have not spent most of the last week talking about Team GB’s medal wins, BBCi helpfully replays these glorious occasions each night. The reader may have heard that Team GB did rather well in the track cycling. Bradley Wiggins is so good he is ‘Olympic champion and gold medal winner.’ Team GB’s exploits have been so dazzling, they defy even tautology.

  02:04: The women’s hammer is commencing. Sorry, now, but it’s clearly not a hammer. Unless you like your hammers condensed into a sphere and attached to a chain. Staunch in our traditionalism, we prefer the conventional T-shape. (more…)

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• Michael Phelps becomes the greatest human being in recorded history

  August 17, 2008 @ 5:48 am | by Seán Kenny

  01:01: Forgive us, dear reader, if we are (even more) frazzled this morning but we are still reeling from Dublin’s meltdown in the face of a disgracefully superb Tyrone performance. Still, of what import are mere parochial sporting affairs when the global games of the Olympiad proceed?

  01:07: The women’s marathon is passing through Tiananmen Square. The Chinese government has magnanimously agreed not to have the participants mown down with guns. Gentle souls. (more…)

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