Special guest Máire resorts to the dreaded bridge-building

DÁIL SKETCH:Few were happy at being dragged into the House on a Monday for a Europe Day debate

HOW WAS Europe Day for you? Don’t mind saying that it wasn’t great for us, what with fretting over “the markets” and this constant talk of stimulus measures keeping us awake at night.

Then there’s the palaver with Professor Kelly: it was a case of Morgan – noon and night – all weekend. He frightened the life out of everyone.

In the crowded world of the celebrity economist, McWilliams and Gurdgiev must be livid.

And we’ve sent Jedward over to represent us at the Eurovision.

Little wonder Enda seemed a touch careworn and weary yesterday.

But then, few around Leinster House were happy at being dragged into the Dáil chamber on a Monday for a special Europe Day debate. (Which may explain why a lot of TDs didn’t bother to turn up. The best both Fianna Fáil and Sinn Féin could muster for this important occasion was half a dozen deputies each.) A sizeable chunk of the diplomatic corps piled into the visitors’ gallery for the hour-long exchange of speeches.

They had to wait for Richard Boyd-Barrett of People Before Profit to speak before they woke up.

In appreciation of their attendance, their excellencies were photographed in front of a line of national flags specially set up in the Garden Room of Leinster House. Or inside the back door, as the area is more commonly known.

Most of our MEPs also made the trip. Truly, Irish politics hasn’t witnessed such drama and excitement since the Forum on Europe closed down.

Special guest for the morning was former Fianna Fáil minister turned Eurocrat, Máire Geoghegan-Quinn. The Taoiseach introduced her to the Dáil, explaining who she is for the benefit of the younger deputies who weren’t around in her day.

“Commissioner Máire Geoghegan-Quinn, who sits at the commission table as a commissioner.” Máire seemed delighted to be back in familiar surrounds, seated in the distinguished visitors’ gallery and waving to some old pals.

She addressed the House from the floor and said that, in her experience, her European colleagues were “attentive, concerned and understanding” in their consideration of the problems Ireland is experiencing.

She mentioned that Ireland’s success in Europe has “always been about building bridges”. The use of the dreaded bridge phrase, coupled with a casual cliche about Ireland “punching above its weight” had us wondering if Mrs Geoghegan-Quinn might not be contemplating a tilt at the presidency.

She’ll have to improve her waving technique if she is. Fine Gael’s Maireád McGuinness, who has declared she intends to seek her party’s nomination for the Park, is already swivelling her hand like a Buck Palace veteran. Both Maireád and her MEP colleague Seán Kelly were spotted in animated conversation with the Taoiseach after the formalities concluded.

Former GAA boss Kelly is also said to be contemplating a bid for Áras an Uachtaráin. Enda remained inscrutable in the face of their twin ambition.

Earlier, the Taoiseach delivered a surprisingly meaty speech, aiming swipes at the ECB while reiterating that there would be no cut in the corporate tax rate.

He regretted “the shine” has gone off Ireland as far as some of our EU colleagues are concerned. They are of the view that “we are not regarded as good team players anymore”. But fear not, said Enda. His Government is working hard to rebuild the country’s relationship with its European partners.

This didn’t go down well with the Fianna Fáil leader, who took grave offence at the inference that his party is responsible for the strained relations.

They are putting it about that previous FF governments neglected the EU. They “want to claim to be the authors of a resurrection” fumed Micheál Martin.

Enda shot a sulphurous glare across the floor, menacingly winding a paper clip around his microphone.

Sinn Féin’s star trio of Gerry Adams, Mary Lou McDonald and Pearse Doherty were nowhere to be seen, but Donegal’s Pádraig Mac Lochlainn was impressive in their absence.

Meanwhile, Richard Boyd-Barrett of the People Before Profit Alliance rather stole Joe Higgins’s thunder in the righteous indignation stakes.

“When I heard we would be celebrating our EU membership with a special sitting of the Dáil, I thought it was a sick joke,” he began, as the diplomats sat up straight. “It just beggars belief that when this country is being crucified by an EU-IMF deal, the Government thinks we should celebrate our membership of the EU. It is beyond pathetic – the sick joke of a bankrupt Government!” It got better.

“If this gathering were truly to reflect our current relationship with the European Union, Jean-Claude Trichet of the ECB would be sitting in the Taoiseach’s seat, flanked by the heads of the Bundesbank and the other big European banks, and all the public representatives in this chamber would be bound and gagged.” Now, there’s a nice thought.

RBB concluded by exhorting Irish citizens to rise up and emulate the Arab people in resisting the dictatorship of the financial markets. After that, Joe quivering about our “enslavement to the parasites of the financial market” lost a lot of its punch.