‘Vapewrath’ and Ireland’s first ‘she-seach’ – my 2024 word predictions

The first time I walked into a stranger’s vape plume was in the height of the pandemic. There I was, practically leaping into traffic to maintain my Government-mandated two-metre distance when I unwittingly dove straight into a sickly sweet candy-floss-smelling cloud, fresh from the lungs of a passerby. It was so potent, so fruity, I almost got a sugar rush. A sugar rush of rage.

In 2014 the Oxford English Dictionary’s word of the year was “vape”, as use of the word rose dramatically in line with the growing popularity of e-cigarettes. Ten years later many people have moved to vaping to help with quitting cigarettes, while a recent survey of Irish teens found that a third of 13-to-16-year-olds are vaping, having never smoked cigarettes.

In 2024, to mark 20 years since the introduction of the smoking ban, we need the OED to add a word to describe the ire felt after walking through yet another stranger’s crème brûlée-flavoured exhalations. Fogfume? Fruitmist fury? Vapewrath? The vapes of wrath?

At the height of Christmas city centre madness in Dublin, a kind stranger held the door behind him for me as I followed him into the Dunnes entrance on Exchequer Street. As he did so, he executed a huge inhale on his vape machine thingy. It was one of those larger ones that look vaguely like a gun. What good will he had garnered with the door holding was quickly wiped out when he blew a fruit-scented plume in his wake. It was very much giving “smell of a school lunch box after a banana’s been left in there for two days”.

Our local supermarket had a creche, and I happily survived it

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Emer McLysaght: Good riddance Operation Transformation. Here’s what RTÉ should put in its place

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Every time I travel abroad I am gripped by the fear that Ireland is making a fool of me

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Emer McLysaght: You’re going to see phones at gigs. Suck it up

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“It was giving” or simply, “it’s giving” should have been up there for Oxford English Dictionary’s word of 2023. Even though the phrase – which means something or someone is giving off the vibes of something – has been around for a couple of years, it really took hold in the past 12 months.

Like many slang terms, it likely originated in the black LGBTQ+ community, similar to “slay” and “yasss”. The actual OED word of the year was “rizz”, short for charisma. Despite being terminally online, I was unfamiliar with the word and thought maybe they’d got it terribly wrong. Then, while working on a radio recording, I encountered a transition-year student on work experience who, bless him, tried his best not to smirk as he explained that “rizz” is very much in use among the youth. In that moment I was giving “embarrassing millennial with zero rizz”.

The juggernaut towards world domination that Vogue Williams and Joanne McNally are on might need its own term this year. “The ghost train” maybe, given that their success has been built on their podcast My Therapist Ghosted Me, which sold out five nights at the 3Arena in December and pulls in three million listeners a week.

Speaking of women on top, could 2024 be the year Ireland has its first woman taoiseach? Old Moore’s Almanac certainly thinks so, with the publication’s resident psychic predicting that it will be an “embattled” year for the woman in question. I’m trademarking “she-seach” right now.

‘Ballotology’ – the study or analysis of voting patterns, trends and behaviours during an election – might be a little too close to ‘bolloxology’ to take off in Ireland

AI will surely continue to terrify and impress us, and asking the ChatGPT tool questions will surely be shortened to “chatting”. “Did you write that report?” “Ah, I just chatted it, be grand.”

When I asked ChatGPT to suggest some new words for 2024 it came up with the rather catchy “zoomtown”, which is “a city or town that experiences a population boom due to an increase in remote work, facilitated by virtual communication tools like Zoom”.

I also “chatted” some new election slang in advance of the US presidential race. “Votevibe”, which is the collective sentiment or mood of voters, certainly has potential, while “ballotology” – the study or analysis of voting patterns, trends and behaviours during an election – might be a little too close to “bolloxology” to take off in Ireland.

I’ll definitely be advocating for “vapewrath” to take off, if only to reduce the prevalence of great gusts of vapour around every corner. As bad as the fruity ones are, I particularly dread a mint cloud. It brings to mind my father’s heroic quest to overcome a 40-year cigarette habit by replacing the cigs with chewing gum. Packets and packets of chewing gum. The result? Minty farts. To be smelled to be believed.

ChatGPT suggests they should be called “peppertoots” but I prefer “mintwind” myself. I wonder how far into the year we’ll get before I encounter my first mintwind vapewrath? Probably sooner than a she-seach takes power.