My experience: 'It took me eight months to discuss the issue of bleeding with my mother'

My name is Nancy Naserian Simel and I am 19 years old. I am the last born in a family of seven; James, Margret, Rebecca, Samuel and my parents – Simel and Noonkuta. James, Samuel and Rebecca are all married with two children each. Margaret will be getting married in April.  My father keeps livestock and my mother is a housewife.

I live in Kajiado North Sub County which is the largest Sub County in Kajiado County. Currently, there is no pasture and water for the animals because there has been a severe drought in our area and most families have moved to other places in search of water and pasture. I fear for our livestock because in the 2009/10 drought, my father lost all the livestock he had. This affected him so much and he went into depression. He was hospitalised for 12 days. He was later given four cows and nine goats by our relatives and friends to start off again. I hope it will rain soon as the situation in Kajiado is worsening in terms of the drought and lack of water.

My school life

I went to Saikeri primary school which is nine kilometers away from our home. Every day I woke up at 5am and travelled to school with no breakfast. I was a bright girl and liked school very much. I very well remember the first day I received my periods; it was in January of the first term in the year 2007. I was in standard six. I remember the school bell ringing, reminding us that it was end of the mathematics lesson. I excused myself to go for a short call before my next teacher came into the class. I suddenly felt something sticky and tried looking at my dress. There was a red patch. I felt so scared because I thought I was sick. I remember thinking I had taken something poisonous and my stomach was bleeding.

I removed my school pullover and tied it around my waist and decided to go to the class teacher to seek permission to go home. All my classmates were looking at me and the boys were laughing. I felt embarrassed and ran out of the class.

On reaching home, I went to our Manyatta and slept. I felt sickly. I was afraid to even discuss it with my mother. When my sister, Margret arrived from school, I told her about what had happened in school. She told me that it was a natural process called monthly periods or menstruation and that it comes monthly when we are of age. She advised me to use pieces of old clothes. I stayed home for four days until the bleeding stopped. When my mother asked why I was not going to school, I told her I was sick and my stomach was painful. She asked my father to mix some herbs for me and was given it to drink. When she later checked up on me, I told her that I was getting better.

When I went back to school, I overheard some boys murmur that I was now mature and could be married. The boys called me woman and said I was hit by a ‘red devil’ and that is why I was bleeding. This affected me so much but I could not discuss it with anyone. Due to the previous experience, in the following month, I started carrying pieces of cloth in my school bag every day, just in case I started bleeding again.

A month later, the periods came again. I was afraid to ask permission from the teacher in class so as to change the ‘pad’ which were the same pieces of cloth. I later realised I had soiled my dress. I decided to go home until the periods stopped. This time I did not seek permission. When I returned, my class teacher punished me for being absent for a week without permission. In the following months, I remained home every time I experienced my period. It took me eight months to discuss the issue of bleeding with my mother.

When I sat my end of term exams, I dropped from position 3 to position 21. My class teacher was worried and called me to her office. I was embarrassed and unable to tell her that I was absent because of the monthly periods. Instead I promised that I would work harder.

One day during school assembly, the head teacher informed us that there were visitors who were coming to school and wanted to meet girls from standard six to eight. I was so curious about the meeting and looked forward to it. We all went and the visitors introduced themselves as coming from the Girl Child Network and they told us that they were to train us about sexual maturation including monthly periods. I was very shocked that the person from GCN was a man, and I was wondering, 'what does a man know about periods?''.

He was very relaxed and understanding and told us that we should not be embarrassed about issues of sexual maturation because it is a very normal process for both girls and boys. I had never seen a sanitary pad before and all the girls were laughing throughout the demonstration. We later took turns to demonstrate how to use it. They three packets of sanitary pads and three pairs of underwear. I was so happy and felt like someone had answered my prayers.

Most of my friends were giggling on our way back to class. On reaching the classroom, boys snatched some panties and pads from the girls and later used them to make balls for football. They also opened the girls’ bags to look at the pads.  When we reported to the class teacher, she talked to the boys.  Girl Child Network continued to supply us with sanitary towels every term. As a result of this, I did not miss my class lessons. This helped me to concentrate with my class work. My performance improved because I went to school every day. I later sat for my Kenya Certificate of Primary Education course exam where I attained 302 marks out of 500. I was the first in a class of 19 pupils.

Girl Child Network supported me to join Rombo Girls Secondary School where I sat for my Kenya Certificate of Secondary Education course exam last year, 2014. I am waiting for my results and hope to join The University of Nairobi to pursue my career in engineering.

Using my experience, I help girls in my village during the holidays. They come to me to seek information on the use of sanitary towels. I also explained to them about sexual maturation process and that monthly period is normal and without which every girl should be worried.